Sweet Miracles

At this point, i’m feeling this huge sense of disappointment with everyone including myself.

Feelings of being misunderstood, unsupported, and having to fight alone on this whole issue of vaccination, against both sides of the family. I know Mr Gua Gua would protest to read this, and i know he has already done his part in showing his support to me – but i’m sorry to say that it wasn’t enough, and this outcome was not one that i had hoped for.

Yes i know that it hasn’t been easy for everyone involved and it’s been also very difficult for Mr Gua Gua who has been sandwiched in every way possible.

But for now, i would just like to focus on me and what’s best for little boy. Don’t think that i’m being selfish, or egoistic or presumptuous in thinking that i know what’s best for him. I have done my research, talked to other mums, read stuff. Yet i’m the one who’s being criticised and seen as the bad guy.

Unfortunately, in our partnership, Mr Gua Gua is the peacemaker, while i’m the rule-breaker, who cares more abt principles than relationships. And that’s been a challenge for both of us.

I guess, nobody is wrong, and we all feel like victims in one way or another.

I’m very disappointed that pride should play a bigger picture than little boy’s health in this entire fiasco.

Sure, everyone’s intentions are good, but when misinformation and pride gets in the way, so what? And so the saying goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

I’m no longer angry… or perhaps, just a teeny bit (thanks to EFT), but my heart is still heavy with disappointment.

My apologies to Mr Gua Gua for seemingly not appreciating what he has done. The difference in our wavelengths in this and some other areas are just too great, i think, for us to appreciate deeply enough how each other truly feel, or agree with each other’s actions. I’m sad abt this as well, but i guess it’s a fact of life that no two persons can see eye to eye on everything, and it’s something i have to learn to accept.

May Green Tara show me her wisdom and guide me to find peace and understanding.  

PS: EFT helped with the disappointment in the end… though i hope that insight will also come as the emotions are cleared.