Sweet Miracles

Thanks Weiz and Littleway for your support, esp Weiz, your comments were really sweet and encouraging.

I’m glad to say that thanks to EFT, i’m no longer feeling emotional about the whole issue. Perhaps there’s still a twinge somewhere, cos i still don’t feel like talking to my mum, but at least when i think about it, i no longer feel those emotions of anger and disappointment.

An update abt the vax issue, my decision is to go ahead and let little boy have his compulsoy vaccines which are only diptheria and measles. However i insist on only having him take the single shots instead of the combination shots where the side reactions could be so much worse. Now i need to find a paed who offers single shots since our current paed says she doesn’t do it. May the universe guide me in my search.

A reflection on this fiasco and previous outbursts of mine. It seems like most of the times, after any emotional upsets and outbursts from me, what remains in my mind and continues to trigger negative emotions from me is not the issue itself but the angry words that come from my mouth/fingers. It’s almost as if the external situation doesn’t do my emotional system as much damage as my own words, which can be very cutting and harsh, and it’s those words that when recalled, makes me feel upset all over again.

Next time, i will try to say/type less when i’m angry and perhaps be milder in my words, and see if that helps to reduce the aftereffects of the conflict. In fact, i got a good advice from the trainer of quantum hypnotherapy course, which was, when angry, only react 2 weeks later. Of cos, 2 weeks later, it would be almost impossible to react with the same amount of intensity, if there is even any left at all. And interestingly, perhaps not surprisingly, sometimes i deliberately reply to an upsetting email immediately cos i’m afraid that if i delay my reply, i will no longer feel the urge to reply. In other words, i choose to let my emotion colour my response.

But on hindsight, that’s not wise of cos. Emotions almost always make things look murky, and emotional reactions often create more damage than resolves things in a constructive way. Yup… it is a good idea to hold my anger and resist the temptation to scold the other party, thinking that they need a good wake-up call. After all, nobody loves to be awakened in the morning by an alarm clock.

I’m so grateful that i attended the quantum hypnotherapy course. Despite the fact that it’s a misnomer, cos there was nothing really quantum about it, even though the trainer did introduce some quantum and scientific concepts, and it was hardly about hypnotherapy at all, i gained many gems from it, and at the same time, felt very connected to many of the participants so it was almost like some kind of spiritual homecoming.

The course was packaged in a way that promised to help participants learn how not to create any stress at all – a somewhat scheming but also very clever way, in my opinion, of attracting participants to Buddhist teachings of non-dualism i.e. nothing is good nor bad, it’s just the way it is, and it’s our perceptions that makes them so-called good or bad, and the practice of meditation.

It was a shocker at first to find out what the course really was about, and i was not the only participant whose expectations were unmet. However, it was like a refresher course for me, after over a year of losing touch with Dharma practice and cultivation. Whatmore, the speaker reminded me of a Bhante, partly cos he came from India, and partly from his calm, down-to-earth and steady demeanour, and the stories he told were really inspiring. Some of them were familar. In fact, everything he said was familiar. But perhaps cos i didn’t come expecting to hear about Dharma, i listened to him from a different perspective and as a result, felt like everything i heard sounded new and fascinating, in a comforting, i’ve-heard-it-bef0re way.

The subject of this post was the moral of one of the stories he shared, about a king who was looking for the secret of life. He asked a wise man what was the secret of life, and the wise man gave him an envelope, and told him it contained the secret of life, but he was not allowed to open it except in a situation of life and death. The day came when his kingdom was overtaken by another king and he was running for his life. He hid in a cave to escape from the king’s troops, only to see a lion sleeping inside. Desperate, he decided this was the time to open the envelope, and this was the message inside, this too will pass. Moments later, he went out of the cave and the troops had already left, thinking he ran somewhere else. In the end, he managed to win his kingdom back, and during the celebrations, he was asked by his servant why he looked so serious and wasn’t rejoicing like everyone else. His reply was, this too will pass.

I have heard this story many times before, but i haven’t heard it for a while and the simple but profound teaching in this story striked me once again. If this becomes a mantra to be repeated to oneself in any situation, it would definitely help one to cultivate equanmity, to see both good and bad situations as impermanent, and not needing to get overly happy or upset about.

Another story that i heard before but finally made its impact on me went like this. An old woman was seen looking for something outside her house. Her neighbours asked her what she was missing, and she said she lost her needle. Hence everyone helped her find her needle, but after a long while, it was not to be found, so one person asked her where did she lose it, so that they could narrow the area to be searched. She said she lost her needle in the house. Everyone scolded her and asked why she was searching for her needle outside the house if she lost it inside the house. Her reply was this, her house was dark, and the streets outside were bright, hence she decided to look outside.

Before this workshop, when i heard this story, it didn’t make much sense to me. But thanks to the trainer, i finally understood what it was trying to say. Everyone is looking for answers to their problems outside, by reading self-help books, looking for gurus, going for therapy, etc. But all along, the answers to our problems reside within us. However, because we are filled with ignorance (darkness), we choose to look outside for answers instead, where it seems brighter.

Since the real answers reside within us, we need to vanquish the darkness within us by bringing light within, hence, en-lighten-ment. I’m pretty sure i have heard the latter before, but perhaps it has been such a long time i have been to Dharma talks, or perhaps the speaker was so eloquent in presenting his stories, again i felt like i was hearing it for the first time, and was very inspired.

The trainer told us that even though the workshop lasted 2 days, it could be summarised in a single sentence: always watch our thoughts. That was also Buddha’s message, and the message of many saints and sages of the past, and it seems so simple, yet it can bring us relief from so much suffering, and ultimately help us gain enlightenment.

Abt meditation, he said the more we read books abt meditation, the harder it is for us to meditate, cos then we start to have doubts abt whether we are doing it correctly, and the ego starts playing tricks on us. I realised how true that was, cos during the workshop, he simply asked us to relax ourselves and be aware of our thoughts. Just that simple instruction, nothing more. So instead of worrying abt my posture, the breathing method, how to label each sensation, etc, i simply became aware. It turned out to be the best meditation session i had in a long while. It happened to be a beautiful day as well, and i chose to sit on the grass under the tree, where there was shade. With the gentle breeze blowing and nature sounds, there was this perfect stillness in my mind. I had honestly intended to catch a few winks during the meditation session since i didn’t have enough sleep the night before, but i was unexpectedly alert during the meditation and didn’t feel any drowsiness at all.

This course really brought me back to my Buddhist roots, and it was indeed timely, given my recent conflict with my family over the vaccination issue. I know some participants were disappointed cos they prob didn’t hear anything new during the course, but i know that i have gained much from it. Another bonus was the unexpected connections that i made during the course. It started when my hypnotherapy classmate and i went to the toilet on the first morning of the course, before it commenced. We met this participant, an angmoh lady, who mentioned that she had this back problem. I asked her if she has heard of EFT. She said, no, and i asked if she would like to try it later on, and she said yes.

During our first break, i approached her and already her back was giving her problems, so she gamely accepted my offer to do EFT with her. Within 4 rounds of EFT, her back pain was almost down to zero, and she was so amazed by its quick and effective results, as she told me that she has tried numerous treatments before – injection, massage, medication – without much improvement, and here within a few minutes, she was getting such wonderful relief with such a simple technique!

Other people were looking on curiously as i did EFT on her and strangely, while i was worried about calling attention to myself as i wondered whether or not to offer EFT to this lady, the moment i began, this worry didn’t bother me anymore, even though i knew vaguely that some participants were observing us during the process. As a result of this, people started asking me abt EFT, and it turned out that quite a few people have heard of EFT or have seen demonstrations before, but never really experimented it for themselves. I managed to teach my hypnotherapy classmate EFT as well, and the next day, she told me she actually stayed up the previous night to do internet research abt EFT and on the next morning, she successfully helped her husband EFT away his aching back (who tried to deny his backache and said it was only tension )! Wow… kudos to her enthusiasm in trying out EFT with someone else so soon after she has learnt it.

I was so glad to have shared EFT with a few others that i asked Mr Gua Gua to help me copy a few of the EFT DVDs, in particular, the Borrowing Benefits ones, and passed one set to to the angmoh lady. She was so happy that she called me an angel and gave me a hug! Wow… i was so touched by her warmth and gratitude, and glad to have shared EFT with her. And on the last day, people were asking me for their namecards and giving me theirs, and needless to say, i felt good! Not that i’m good, but i just felt thrilled that i had this tool that i could share with others and help them benefit from it… and well, it does feel good that people wants to know about my service. This could easily turn into an ego trip of cos, so i guess i have to make sure to be focused on my intentions of sharing EFT to empower people to help themselves.

I was so uplifted from my “accomplishment” in sharing abt EFT during the workshop that i went home and spent some time working on myself using the Borrowing Benefits DVDs. Just to explain what Borrowing Benefits is about, the name actually explains itself. You tap along with the person doing the demonstration with the therapist, and even though the person’s issue is completely different from yours, your own issue gets cleared as well. I’m not sure what the science is about, though i can definitely accept this idea since everything is somehow connected on an energetic level. Anyway, i worked on a few childhood memories and it was amazing for me to feel the difference after using EFT on them. It was either the memory became distant and hazy, or i could still remember it but with this new feeling of detachment, like it’s not that big a deal after all.

This is great for someone like me who can’t seem to do EFT properly on myself! Watching the Borrowing Benefits DVD is so entertaining itself, that to be able to get my issues cleared at the same time with such noticeable result is such a fantastic way of working on myself. It almost feels like i’m being worked on by Gary himself, which is great. I know that EFT is sometimes more effective between 2 persons cos of the synergy, which may also explain perhaps why i don’t feel that i can do EFT properly on my own (of cos this could be just another self-limiting belief which i might EFT on), so being able to EFT myself together the person in the video almost feels like i’m receiving therapy too, at my own pace own time. How cool is that?

Well, i certainly hope that the angmoh lady and the other person i passed copies of these DVDs to are using them with good results. Hopefully i will hear from them one day!

In the meantime, i’ll continue to clear my own issues as much as possible, and i’m definitely going to start planning on how i can spread the EFT word (tapping!) in a more major kinda way. Wonder if there’s any way i can do it within SY… it wld certainly benefit SY, in terms of getting more clients, as well as myself, in terms of having a conducive environment to conduct talks, groupwork session, workshops, etc. My fears are whether i will face rejection from the mgmt, or get misunderstood by colleagues for wanting to promote myself, now that my cd is leaving at the end of the year, and whether i will be neglecting little boy cos i may need to spend more time working as a result. Well, the good thing is i can face my fears now, with the help of “this too shall pass” as well as EFT, so perhaps, another proper entry on this to dig out all the doubts and fears, and then EFT them away!