Sweet Miracles

Happy CNY to all!

Today was a really nice and relaxing day as for once, we didn’t have to visit Kevin’s relatives until tomorrow, so we only had 2 places on our schedule – my in laws’ and my grandmother’s where everyone gathers. This was a welcome change from last year where we went to about 3 or 4 places which is super tiring, not just for little boy but for us as well. It’s always twice the effort having to bring a lil one ard, whether the lil one is a big baby of almost 1 year old or an active toddler of almost 2!

It was also a relief not to have to travel up and down as Mr Gua Gua and stayed up to almost 5 am the night before. My reason was because of little naps caught during the day and a long one in the evening where i fell asleep with little boy, plus all the chores and angpow packing that i had to do. Mr Gua Gua didn’t take any naps but had a lot of work to do around the house. I think he managed to cram a whole year of cleaning into 2 days or so. I was pretty impressed by his efforts, but needless to say, he was exhausted.

So this morning he had trouble waking up but after he finally did, we spent the morning in a very nice family way, thanks to me forbidding the TV from being switched on despite Mr Gua Gua’s claims of all the wonderful special CNY programs. Without the TV on, we were much more centred on one another, and we spent the morning putting up CNY decorations, Mr Gua Gua doing his prayers, and the best part: lazing around on the mattress in little boy’s room. I thought it was by far the best activity we have ever done - it’s free, relaxing, and we laughed a lot together. Maybe we shld make it a regular part of our weekends from now on.

I also managed to catch a video of little boy singing. These days he loves to sing, with his own tune and lyrics, in a grown up way. He even uses Mr Gua Gua’s flute as a microphone, and looks so engrossed in his singing. He actually has pretty gd stage presence (don’t think we’re just saying that cos we’re his parents!) and today, he looked so handsome with his new clothes that i wonder how many girls’ hearts he’s gonna break in the future. Anywayz, the video even includes little boy saying xie xie at the end. Wonder who taught him that! Well, i finally FINALLY decided to check out YouTube, so for all little boy lovers out there, here he is in action!

<object width=”425″ height=”373″><param name=”movie” value=”http://www.youtube.com/v/16BMBdqZnR4&rel=1&border=1″></param><param name=”wmode” value=”transparent”></param><embed src=”http://www.youtube.com/v/16BMBdqZnR4&rel=1&border=1” type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” wmode=”transparent” width=”425″ height=”373″></embed></object>

http://youtube.com/watch?v=16BMBdqZnR4 (the embedded link didn’t work… maybe i didn’t copy and paste right, so do click on the link to watch the video. Also not sure how to rotate the video, so for now, you gotta watch it sideways. Would appreciate if more tech-savvy readers could offer me some tips!)

 Thank you! I love you all too!

I made a super tasty peanut stock for little boy’s porridge today and was very gratified to see him eat more than usual during his lunch, of cos with the method described in the previous entry. He took his own sweet time eating, and i was trying my best not to anticipate his leaving the chair halfway (law of attraction!), but he ate up almost all in the end. In fact, i would have prob stopped him from eating it all up, if he hadn’t stopped by himself cos his stomach was so big and round. Sigh, seeing little boy’s tummy in this state is prob my best reward for all the efforts i put into his meals!

We decided to visit my in laws before little boy’s nap as we had to go to my grandma’s place in the evening. Going to my in laws’ place was another relaxing affair, and as i didn’t have any breakfast except for a handful of cashew nuts, i was looking forward to her CNY dish of mixed vegetable stew, Hakka style, which she and the rest of Kevin’s aunties cook every CNY. One year i ate the same dish 4 times, and each time i was asked, whose stew is better, i could barely come up with an answer cos they tasted practically the same!

 Dragging his bag of mandarin oranges behind him!

 My FIL introducing the various Buddhas to little boy – note little boy catching on the right way to point to enlightened masters and respected saints.

 In his Yeye’s fave chair – with this smile, now i can see what Mr Gua Gua means by how much little boy resembles his Yeye! Also, just noticed the colour coordination in this pic.

We did a simple tea ceremony with my in laws, and then little boy got his angpows. Alas, he didn’t do his gong xi gong xi this year round. After which, he played with Kevin’s sis while i could relax and enjoy my food. He had a blast of a time playing with Kevin’s sis, but we had to leave close to 3 pm as he had already missed his naptime by 2 hours and he was starting to walk like a drunkard! Nevertheless, he insisted on running back home and didn’t want us to carry him. Unfortunately, he tripped and fell on his face! His nose and upper lip was grazed with minor scratches, though deep enough to have blood dripping from them so he looked quite scary. He cried for a few seconds and then started running again so we were thinking how fearless he was. Alas, i think he was putting it on, cos when we refused him from sitting on a kiddy ride, he had a huge meltdown, I’m guessing prob from the bad fall and his much needed rest.

 Mummy, how could you still take my pix with me in this state!

We all slept once we got home and woke up almost 6 pm. On our way to my grandma’s place, i was worried about the reaction we are gonna get from my aunts and uncles about little boy’s by-then red and sore looking nose and upper lip. I tensed up at the thought of being scolded for not taking care of him and everyone giving him pitiful expressions and groans. So what did i do? EFT! First i EFTed for little boy’s injuries cos it is sup to promote healing and i guess i was hoping for some miracle whereby little boy’s scratches would have healed somehow before we arrived. Well, i didn’t do enough of that for the miracle to happen, so i then switched to doing EFT for my relatives e.g. “even though i (my relatives) am shocked to see little boy’s face…. “.

But after one round, i realised what i really shld be doing EFT on was for myself, so i tapped on all the possible remarks i may receive e.g. “even though so and so will call me an irresponsible mother… (now that remark alone was enough to get me feeling heated up and defensive even in the taxi so i tapped a lot on that, visualing all the potential relatives who might say it in the most critical manner), i choose to be cool about it.” After which, i got an insight, that prob everyone in this extended family has been criticised before by another family member or more, for their parenting style as well as many other things. That’s just how my family is like, and a huge part of it is because they only know how to express their love and concern in this manner. So if they did criticise me, it isn’t the first time and neither would it be last, so i shldn’t be taking it personally. Instead, i could choose to respond in a calm and gracious manner, even laugh about it and be one of those who could truly stay unaffected by the criticism (not many i shld say!).

I don’t know if it’s the EFT but lo and behold, while they were surprised by little boy’s face, none of them gave the negative, harsh reaction that i expected. They were only asking how it happened, and they didn’t even do the “oh you poor thing” script. On the other hand, little boy was looking quite solemn and didn’t want to smile at all. Thank gdness for the 2 girls who made it their mission to make little boy laugh, so they entertained little boy by throwing balloons down the staircase with him at the bottom, and my mum was able to feed him his dinner this way while Mr Gua Gua and i, again, could have a relaxing dinner (2 relaxing meals in 1 day… it’s a gd day!).

Little boy cheered up considerably thanks to the 2 girls and he was back to his happy active self. My aunt wanted to take my cousin and her family to River Ang Pow to watch the fireworks, and since little boy had such a late nap, we decided to go along. In the car, the older girl V kept telling me about how her magic ribbon managed to make little boy smile every time and it was indeed a magic ribbon. Later i told her that little boy was prob smiling cos she was smiling at him, so she concluded she had a magical smile, with which i fully agreed!

She was such a sweet little dear and kept wanting to hold my hand. I feel we have a really gd connection together, as i recalled that during her last visit when she was hardly passed being a toddler, the moment she saw me she came to me and sat on my lap and everyone was surprised. Well, i felt my heart warming up to her very easily as well this time round, and i totally enjoyed having her hand in mine as we walked down to River Ang Pow. Geez… i wonder when would little girl be here! I am totally going to love having a daughter! When i had to let go of her hand cos i happened to be holding both her and little boy and little boy was walking a lot slower, she was rather reluctant and had to be cajoled by her mum to let go.

I also love the younger one S just as much, just that she is quieter and hence didn’t initiate as much contact with me. But she has her own charm, and when we have the opportunity to connect, her sweetness endears my heart to her as well. For all her apparent shyness, she is definitely a star, just as bright as her older sis and i think there is a cheeky side to her somewhere inside there, cos when my aunt teased for being lazy and wanting to be carried, she stuck her tongue out sweetly at her! For a brief period, when V was elsewhere, she also came up to hold my hand saying now it’s her turn, and i was most glad! However very soon after, she let go of my hand, muttering something about perhaps someone else wants to hold my hand. I feel she’s a really giving, compassionate child and hope the world would treat her the same.

Later, i had a gd workout by offering my carrying services to V cos i knew she couldn’t see the interesting stuff from her level. I recall that in my younger days, i didn’t enjoy such outings much as there were always so many pple and all i can see is people’s legs, and get jostled around, feeling suffocated and all. Furthermore, being young, i got tired from all the walking, yet i was too big for the adults to carry, so it was usually a most miserable kind of outing for me. Perhaps that’s why till this day, i don’t enjoy shopping all that much. So perhaps cos i could still rem what it’s like to be a kid, i gave more attention to V since S is more likely to be well taken care of, being the younger one. I think V appreciated me carrying her, and her arms were wrapped tightly around my neck. However she was also quite considerate and voluntarily came down when she knew my arms were getting tired.

Later during the dragon dance, i carried her again and she was fascinated by the chinese dragon. She asked me how many people were inside, so i guess she confused the dragon dance with the lion dance. I pointed out the sticks that supported the dragon and she understood that for the dragon dance, the people are below. She still asked me how many people there were, and i estimated 7-8 but told her i wasn’t sure. and she could count the sticks. But the dragon was moving so quickly, so she said, when the dragon slows down, she would count the sticks. I thought she sounded disappointed and was going to tell her nevermind, but in the next minute, the dragon did slow down so we counted them together – there were 9! She reminded me i said 7-8, so i laughed and told her i estimated wrongly.

This was a simple interaction but it reminded me of the frankness and determination of a child that i know i once had and somehow lost. For a child, there is no neverminds, or it’s okays. What she wants, she wants, and whenever possible, she would figure out a way to get it. As an adult, i now compromise too much, give up my wishes a lil too often, and like to tell myself stuff of neverminds and it’s okays, which in other words mean that i don’t matter, and other people don’t care. So when i tried to say the same to V, who still knows that she IS the centre of her universe and she holds a very important place in this world, my words sounded out of sync and meaningless.

In fact, a few times when i was talking to V, i realised how meaningless my responses seemed to be. For the most part, i tried to affirm whatever she was saying, but at times, i realised i was trying to “subtly” teach her about things, or basically saying lame stuff which didn’t add on to the conversation in any way. I’m not criticising myself here, rather just reflecting about this. That’s why it’s always so nice to be around a child. They help you to become more aligned with what is honest and true, basically, with Life itself. Indeed, it’s not so much about what we give to our children, but rather what they give to us.

Well, it was indeed a very nice day spent with loved ones, which ended with a wonderful fireworks display. I think this is actually one of my best CNY day 1s so far!

 Little boy with the 2 girls… 2 girls looking bored with all the photo taking (this is about my 7th photo of them at this spot), and little boy… i don’t know what he is doing!

 Our CNY family photo

Wow… one hour more before little boy awakens. I slept at 11 plus pm and woke up at 4 am today and couldn’t get back to sleep so perhaps i’ll get one more hour of sleep just to last through the rest of the day. We will be visiting Kevin’s relatives today. More angpows to give and for little boy to receive!