3rd day of school

May 6, 2008 at 3:01 am | In All about little boy, Conversations with little boy | Leave a Comment

I’m at my mum’s place with little boy this week, despite Mr Gua Gua’s great reluctance which is understandable of cos as he’s the one who has to make the sacrifice of being away from us (and you made it anyway for little boy’s sake, thank you!), as i’m on course 5 days this week, which means my in laws need to bring him to childcare.

Knowing my in laws’ protectiveness with little boy, and the latter’s resultant tendency to be more mischievous and clingy when they are ard, my greatest concern would be that they would face their own separation anxiety with little boy when dropping him off, which would then intensify little boy’s separation anxiety. The worst situation i can think of, is that they end up bringing him back home cos they just can’t stand to see him cry. Perhaps that is not likely to happen but it is still a possibility. Another more likely one is that my MIL stays around and interferes with the teachers’ efforts to orientate little boy to the place and bond with him. Or when they pick him up and little boy happens to cry, which is a common thing to happen cos little kids tend to save up their emotions for their closest caregivers whom they feel safe with, they might think this childcare centre is lousy and worsen their already not-too-good impression of this place. Already they were thinking that little boy is not getting enough to eat and gets bullied by everyone, and goodness knows what else. Sigh, they might as well think that i’m sending to little boy to prison. :/

Well, maybe you can say that i’m being too paranoid about my in laws’ paranoia, and perhaps i am. But i guess paranoia is contagious in that way too! Mr Gua Gua would prob agree that at least one of the above is likely to happen, and that’s why he ended up going with my decision finally, albeit not happily. At least, i feel very much more reassured with my mum taking him to childcare and picking him up. I got my bo-chupness (laidback attitude) from my mum, and i knew that she would be “heartless” enough to leave him there even if he were to cry very pathetically. This is a necessary transition for little boy to go through after all. The crying would be inevitable, and needs to be allowed, so that hopefully the transition phase is shortened. I have heard of parents who give up too soon and quit childcare. Well, it’s each parent to his or her own, and we all know what’s best for our child. But definitely, crying is to be expected on the 1st day of childcare without the caregiver ard, and the best approach is to be lovingly detached, which i know my mum was capable of.

Today, i think was the day that i was most anxious abt little boy, in his whole of 2+ years. I didn’t even think of him this much on my first day back to work (or did i?). I seldom think of little boy outside the house, unlike Mr Gua Gua who claims he thinks of us all the time, but today, my thoughts kept going to him, especially about 12+ pm, 1 hour after drop off, when little boy would have finished lunch and getting ready for nap time, and hopefully mum would have gone home. My concern doubled when my mum didn’t answer my calls or smses and i was having all kinds of imaginings that my mum was still there because of little boy’s crying, which is a big no-no, cos the longer she stays, the more clingy little boy would remain and the harder for the teachers to take care of him, which i’m confident from what i have observed were capable of doing.

Thank goodness my mum finally answered my call a while later. According to her, she left half hour after dropping him off, and at first, little boy was really happy to be there. He knew where to take his shoes off, and he even kept it in the proper place, in the shoe cabinet. It sounded like he was showing the place off to my mum, and he went upstairs to join the other kids who were playing after their bath. Unfortunately, there was a new batch of kids who came from the nearby childcare centre that has closed down, and THEY were crying. My mum said that this prob scared little boy and he started bawling too. My mum has never heard little boy cry so long, so thank gdness it was my mum and not my in laws to be there, cos if my mum can feel heartache for little boy, i wonder what it would be like for my in laws.

During lunch, little boy refused to sit but Teacher H got him to sit on her lap and asked my mum to go. I was relieved to hear that Teacher H took charge of little boy, cos i felt that she would be able to take gd care of him. My mum reported that as she was leaving the centre, little boy’s crying got softer. Later when she went to pick him up, another teacher told her that little boy only cried for a short while, and he did sleep a little at nap time, which is great! He was also having fun on the see-saw with his friends when my mum came. Hopefully little boy is adapting to the place well. I will be taking him to childcare tomorrow before going to work, so will chat with the teachers to find out more if possible.

I did ask little boy abt sch. I know, parents ask their children way too many question (and maybe that’s why they end up becoming teenagers who give monosyllabic answers to everything), but i cldn’t help it. This was our conversation:

Me: Did you sleep in school today?
LB: Sleep
Me: Did you play in school?
LB: Play
Me: Did you sing songs?
LB: “No answer” (maybe he only listened to them singing songs cos he didn’t know the songs yet)
Me: DId you play see saw?
LB: Yes.. see saw
Me: Do you want to go to school tomorrow?
LB: Nooooo…. (a long drawl)

Well, i wasn’t surprised at his no. Of cos, home is much better, with the freedom to do anything he wants at any time, compared to school where you have to follow a certain routine. But later, when i asked him, Mummy bring you to school tomorrow ok? And he said ok. Hopefully he doesn’t take it to mean that i’ll be staying with him throughout. Will have to make sure i explain it to him a few times tomorrow before going, so he is prepared to see me leave, and hopefully won’t be too upset.

Sigh, i did surrogate tapping for him today and wonder if it worked. Well, at least i have this tool to use tomorrow…hopefully it won’t even be needed!

 

Simple joys of cutting

May 6, 2008 at 2:32 am | In All about little boy | 3 Comments

I guess all kids have this obsession with scissors, and little boy is no exception. Unfortunately, all the scissors in the house are big ones, and little boy needs to use them like shears, with both hands to open and close the scissors. Of cos, he barely manages to snip the edges of paper this way, but he painstakingly continues in his efforts anyway, delighting in every cut he successfully makes, and it was this kind of effort that prompted me and Mr Gua Gua to get a scissors specially for him.

These scissors were not child-safe (the kind with blunt ends), nor were they child-size. They were normal scissors, SHARP, and just small enough for him to use with one hand in the proper way. Some pple would prob think we are crazy to let little boy play with scissors. Well, those pple are prob envious that they never got to do the same thing as children! Those who follow my entries about parenting little boy, would know that i’m more inclined towards letting little boy explore the adult world, even if it means suffering bruises or cuts or burns (and so far, thankfully, the latter 2 are not happening yet – touch wood!). I’m not into protecting little boy – except, emotionally, and that means making sure that he knows that he is loved deeply and unconditionally.

Aside from that, and situations that have life-and-death consequences, i pretty much let him do everything. As a result, little boy is always getting comments ranging from being like a ruffian (and as i told Mr Gua Gua, he IS a rather ruff’ Ian!), to being very independent and having excellent fine and gross motor skills.

To be honest, scissors are nowhere as dangerous as knives, and i even allow little boy to use the latter (with supervision of cos). It takes some amt of force to make a cut on your fingers or any part of the body, and even so, the cut would prob be rather superficial. The next worst situation is whereby he ends up cutting his own clothes, and i guess i’m prepared to let them happen, though the odds are also pretty low on that, practically zil with supervision.

Well, little boy simply loves his new blue scissors. So much that i brought it along to my mum’s place, where little boy and i would be staying for 1-2 weeks (depending Mr Gua Gua is going for his business trip next week), so that he can continue practising using his scissors. According to my mum, he is having a blast of a time with his scissors. Every time he cuts the paper and a piece drops off, he would break into peals of laughter, filled with both pleasure and pride.

If you really think about it, this ordinary and mundane act of using the scissors which is no big deal to adults, can be the most satisfying thing to a child. How your fingers are closing one end of the scissors, and the other end actually opens. And vice versa. And how the scissors makes a zzzt sound when cutting the paper. And how your efforts have such a tangible effect on the paper itself. And of cos, with even more developed skills of cutting, how you can create all kinds of interesting parttens on the paper itself, or create interesting paper figures (talking abt that, maybe i shld ask my mum to teach little boy to cut a piece of folded paper, so he can see the cool effect when the paper is opened up!)

In fact, the scissors is actually quite an amazing invention, one that most of us take for granted in this time and age. I can imagine how much hype it probably created when it was first invented (wonder when was that) If i’m this caveman (i think sometimes i think as simply as one!), i’ll prob be so amazed by the sight of a scissors and how easy this combi of levers and sharp edges allows one to cut paper and fabric. Very cool.

If i ever embark on homeschooling one day, i’ll show this entry to little boy and ask him to write me a report on the history of scissors, and perhaps other household tools that we all take for granted. Indeed, we can see magic and marvel in the world ard us, if we really open our eyes to see. Of cos, it’s always easier when you get to look at the world through the eyes of a child. Blessed are those of us who live with children and get to see the world as if for the first time, but with more advanced intellect.

 

 

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