Sweet Miracles

Euch… remind me not to eat so much meat in future. My mother in law brought tons of meaty dishes from a RC event, and due to practical reasons, we ate it all up. Result: awful meaty aftertaste in my mouth and feeling of heaviness. Never again!

A quick update abt my last EFT workshop, 2nd run. Part I was not quite up to my standards. First, i was disappointed with the lower number of pple, and 2nd, my energy level was lower too and at some points, i felt i was just going through the motions. I think expectations definitely ruined the show, because in my mind, i had to be GOOD!

Before Part II, i meditated on love, and truly felt tingly warm sensations in my body. I reminded myself that God in many forms are gracing the workshop today (all the participants are God himself!), and i can just let Green Tara run the show. That day went superby well. I was back to my energetic, charming (ahem), humourous self and i felt i was connecting to the participants on a heart level, which was confirmed by the amount of eye contact they responded to me with (in Part I, they were often looking away). I was most delighted when after the workshop, 1 participant told me that he had depression for past 2 weeks and after Part I and doing tapping during the week, he felt a lot better. Another participant shared with me that he would like to be an EFT trainer too! Hurray… may the EFT healing wave continue to surge through the community!

Sometimes i think i’m really blessed beyond words that i get to serve, get paid for it, and get taught in return. Through my workshop participants and clients, i learn about perseverance, humility, openness, resilience, honesty and so much more. One client in particular has been a great teacher to me. She is the lady who was sexually abused since young, been into many broken relationships, and now has this wonderful dream of opening an orphanage. We have been meeting weekly without fail, and this week, she came not once but twice, cos she is so eager to clear her issues and move forward towards her goals. What an inspiration she has been to me! Even though we have met for only 6 sessions, she has moved through so many intense issues, involving her parents, sexual abuse, relationships, her job, her regrets and inability to forgive herself. Both she and i are pretty amazed at the lightning speed which she is progressing at. In the last couple weeks, she told me i have turned her into a monster. She has become very fierce towards the people around her, standing for her own rights and shocking both the other party and herself with the amt of power that she had. Well, we tapped on this power, since she kept calling herself a monster in a half-joking, half-serious manner, and at least by the end of the session, she decided that she wasn’t a monster after all. She also told me that her boss of 8 years told her recently for the first time, that it looks like she has a bright future. I’m marvelling and rejoicing at her growth, and while she said i’m a gift to her, i told her that she was a gift to me as well, because she allowed me to see the possibilities of EFT. It’s a joy to use EFT with her cos she’s so open and ready for change, and what we cover in a single session is prob more impactful than 10 sessions of traditional psychotherapy. In fact, she has been in counselling for a long time, and she is utterly amazed at what we have done together in such a short time.

EFT is such a gift to me in my work. In fact, it makes my work almost too easy, not that i’m complaining! Because EFT almost guarantees a shift in the client, i can simply relax and just be with them, without worrying about having to lead them to some place. Now, i am being the counsellor that i have always dreamt about being. A counsellor who can be herself, accept the client fully and the client’s worldview, not offer any solutions or opinions, and simply facilitate the client’s healing process by walking with the client, without leading in any way. I’m not saying this is the best kind of counsellor, cos there are therapists who prefer other forms of therapist styles and they can be very effective in their work. However, my belief is that we are all future Buddhas, God resides within us, and we all have our own infinite wisdom that is temporarily obscured by our negativities and delusions. Hence, who am i to tell another future Buddha what he should do or shouldn’t do? How do i know what is that person’s ideal path, or what lessons he or she need to learn?

Well, before i came to use EFT, perhaps i would have to try my best to keep the person on track, cos it would be too painful to see the other person struggle through the pain and confusion. Now with EFT, i can sit back and relax because the clouds obstructing the person’s view are easily and naturally blown away, and it’s truly a blessing and joy to see the person shine with the knowledge of what to do next.

Yesterday i had 2 new clients with similar issues of having to deal with unruly teenagers. The moment i tapped with them, even though i don’t know what to do, i deeply and completely accept myself, both clients started tearing with the guilt they had as mothers. Sigh, i can sure identify with that. Mothers do carry a lot of guilt and responsibility for their children’s actions. I simply tapped on them, as they were too emotional to tap for themselves, voicing on their behalf all the self-blame they carried in their mind, consciously or subconsciously. It can be such a relief to have another person express all the repressed thoughts in your mind, and not have to say, oh it’s ok it’s not a big deal, i really shouldn’t be feeling this way, because that other person is not contradicting those thoughts in anyway, but allowing those thoughts to be there. Thoughts like, I’m a bad mum, i’m a lousy person, it’s all my fault, i hate myself, etc.

You know what they say about once we face our darkest fears, we find that they are not that bad? It’s the same with the dark thoughts. I think EFT gives us the chance to acknowledge our deepest fears, the voices of our worst critics, and despite it all, accept ourselves anyway. Aside from the tapping of the meridien points, i think this is why EFT is such a powerful tool cos it gives the permission to say that you are a bad person, and not have to feel ashamed of saying it. Yes, I am a bad person, and i accept myself anyway. No, i cannot accept myself, and it’s OK.

These few days, i have been consciously preventing myself from giving my opinions on my clients’ issues. Even though i have come to the conclusion that giving advice is not wrong per se cos we are not imposing it on the other party, recently i wanted to go even beyond giving advice and instead, giving minimal input so that the client has no choice but to access his or her own wisdom.

Guess what, with EFT, it worked, and very quickly at that. All i had to do was to give the clients permission to acknowledge their failings. After that, they themselves realised that they could accept themselves and their children, and they just needed to love themselves and their children a lot more. Both clients saw the distortions in their thinking, and they came up with their own solutions. Interestingly, both decided they needed to hug their teenager child more. Of cos, i could have suggested that to them right from the start, but it wouldn’t have been the same, as compared to having them realise it for themselves.

I love EFT!!! Because of EFT, i could be the therapist i wanted to be, and allow my clients to be the wise, loving beings that they are. Life these days is about as fulfilling as it can get!