Sweet Miracles

The Disney trip was absolutely magic!

Sure there were the downs. Going on holiday as a mother, is different from going on a holiday as a single person, and that IS an understatement. Having to cope with the tantrums, making sure that little boy takes his meals (he took more junk food in these 4 days than he does in a month!), etc does take a lot of energy out of me, and there were times when i felt this holiday was more pain than pleasure.

Yet, the happy moments totally outweighed the bleah moments, and the joys of motherhood can also be truly felt on a Disney trip. Watching little boy’s happiness and excitement doubled my own happiness and excitement. It was pure bliss to see him immersed in the Disney magic, especially the look of star-struck awe on his face when he met Mickey Mouse in person. It still makes me laugh when i think of him running after Mickey Mouse and gang when the latter went on a “3-min break”. Little boy tried to follow them into the crew staff area, and was of cos stopped by Mr Gua Gua. Later when they reappeared, little boy followed them with his mouth wide open, absolutely stunned by the close proximity he had with his TV idols whom he watched almost every day. I managed to snap a couple of shots of his sheer joy, and that alone is worth their weight in gold, which means every cent spent on this trip was worth it.

Well, we did spent a little more than planned for, which is typical for us la. HK food can be as cheap as food court prices in SIngapore, but it’s usually priced much more than that. On our first night in HK Disneyland, as little boy insisted on eating porridge, and you would think that in HK, you can find congee anywhere, but nope, we were told that we could only find it back in the hotel which is 10 min shuttle bus ride from Disneyland, which means plus waiting/walking time, dinner would take place half an hour later at least. It was already past dinner time, little boy was announcing that he was hungry, and being typically very anxious about little boy’s nourishment, I was hoping we would find an eatery in Disneyland that served congee. We took a last shot at this fancy Chinese restaurant, and as luck would have it, it served congee. So we ended up having a really lavish meal that cost abt $100, far more than our usual dinner fare. Well, we did promise ourselves that we would have nice meals on this trip…so that was one thing checked!

At least Mr Gua Gua and i ate rather well on this trip. Little boy was not too keen on eating, which i guess was expected. Who would wanna eat when you could be meeting Mickey Mouse and gang and experiencing all kinds of exciting things right? Still, he had to eat when he was hungry, and he either asked for porridge or bread. Unfortunately he was not very adventurous in trying out the food we ordered, and i had no choice but to let him snack on crackers and even icecream, cake and marshmallows. It was consoling to be reminded by Mr Gua Gua that it’s ok to let him starve for a few days; he would be fattened up when back in Singapore again, which is true!

Eating aside, little boy was relatively coorporative and not too bad a traveller. Sure, he was climbing up and down the chairs in the plane, which i allowed cos no toddler can sit in a little space for 3 hours. Otherwise, he was pretty cheerful and hardly fussed. He also did his lying on the floor thing, throughout the trip, whenever we rushed him along and didn’t allow him to go about his business by himself. Independence is a BIG priority for him these days. I have learnt to use it to my advantage, by pretending i was going to do something that i want him to do, and he would immediately respond by wanting to do it as well. It works about 70% of the time, and i sure hope he would not wise up to it too soon.

So during those moments of fussing and throwing of tantrums, EFT came to the rescue. If not for EFT, i think we would have a much more fussy and grouchy toddler on our hands, and i would also be a much angrier and more volatile mum. Thanks to a lot of tapping, both little boy and i stayed in good spirits for most of the trip.

Of cos, i also need to credit it to the excellent service in Disneyland. Best service i have ever encountered in any tourist attraction, including Disneylands in US and Paris. The staff looked genuinely happy, and some went out of their way to make sure we are being well taken care of. On the 2nd night in Disneyland, little boy had a huge tantrum when we carried him out of the car so that another girl could have her turn. Even when we put him back, he was inconsolable. It was near closing time, and a crew member who could have just gone home, stopped by to give little boy Disney stickers. These stickers are handed out all day long, but they definitely don’t give out the whole lot, and this kind guy cheerfully passed out the stickers to little boy, one by one, and little boy eventually stopped fussing when he received the last one. He even said thank you to him, and after that, he was back to his happy self again.

That and other little moments are what makes me fall in love with Disney magic, cos it really helps me to believe in this world where people are good-hearted and noble, where good resides over evil, and where once you wish upon a star, dreams really do come true…

No matter how commercial some pple think Disney may have become, i remain in gratitude that Disney still retains such a powerful influence on the young ones today. Already, the media is showing more and more adult-oriented children’s shows that are more colourful in language, portraying violence on different levels, and displaying sardonic humour. Children these days doesn’t seem so innocent anymore, with their adult language, world-weary manner. While Disney is not perfect either - some do criticise it for its gender bias (which is evolving too, with cartoon movies like Mulan) and distorted portrayals of romance, etc - there are wonderful messages that it sends to the younger generation too. Messages like, goodness pays, and love is the most powerful force in the world. One of the most popular attractions is the “It’s a small world” ride, and isn’t it true, that when we look beyond our cultural differences, it is a small world after all.

Going on this trip is like taking a trip down memory lane, cos it brings back all those fond memories of watching the old Disney cartoons. The really old ones, like Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella, which most of the children now prob have not watched before. I also caught this old-fashioned 70’s Disney mini cartoon on TV which is narrated by song with a melody and style  that put me into this lovely dreamy mood, and it’s a beautiful story about a hat that fell in love with another hat, went on a journey and got reunited with her. As I told Mr Gua Gua and he agreed, they just don’t make cartoons like this anymore.

What’s the big deal, one might say. Well, it’s hard to put it into words… watching such cartoons is like watching the leaves fall from a tree, or the clouds float in the sky. It’s soothing for the soul, and i believe children who grow up on Disney magic are those that continue to believe in goodness, and who bring goodness to this world.

So definitely, if TV is a must for little boy, then let it be Disney TV, and not the modern ones either but those old ones. Mr Gua Gua are going to say that they are boring, but i think the slow pace is what made me like it all the more. In fact i had trouble understanding most of the TV programs at a young age, but I was ok with the Disney cartoons. Maybe cos of the extensive use of music, and a lot of nature-based scenes. For a city girl like myself, perhaps it’s cos of Disney cartoons (and Enid Blyton’s books) that kept me very much connected to nature.

Well, this entry is more about my reflections of the trip rather than the trip itself. A picture is worth a thousand words, so when i find the time, i’ll just upload the pics onto this blog and/or little boy’s online photoalbum, and then you will see what i mean when i said that we had a really gd time there.

In fact, we had such a great time that Mr Gua Gua convinced me into spending another extra $60 to get the annual pass which gives us unlimited access to HK Disneyland till next July. In other words, we will be back… again and again!

Here’s the lyrics of the song… i just realised that it teaches the art of manifestation! It’s all abt putting your heart into the dream…

When You Wish Upon A StarMusic by Leigh Harline / Lyrics by Ned Washington
Performed by Jiminy Cricket (Cliff Edwards)

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you

If your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do

Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing

Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true

Last night Mr Gua Gua found a baby bird. He was outside watering the plants when he kept hearing this tiny chirping noises. He looked down and there it was, lying pathetically in a puddle of water in the drain at the corridor. This tiny little thing, no bigger than 2 inches, totally pink and “naked”, without any feathers - it was an (almost?) newborn baby bird.

I couldn’t believe my eyes when i saw it and asked Mr Gua Gua if it could be a mouse instead, since it was so small and pinkish, and mice chirp too right? But there was the unmistakable beak that opened wide in its cries for help. My first thought was to get it warm. It was another windy night and it must be freezing cold lying in that water. I have a huge resistance towards touching such creatures (including creepy crawlies, dead creatures, anything that doesn’t have fur 0r feathers) so it was up to Mr Gua Gua to rescue it.

He had simply no clue. “Tweezers?” Geez no! I went to the kitchen to see what we could use, and in the end settled for paper towels. They turned out to be completely useless in picking up the bird, but at least Mr Gua Gua used it to soak the water dry. I got more paper towels and Mr Gua Gua finally managed to pick it up and put it in a little cardboard box.

I dared to take a good look at it as it was lying on the paper towels in the box. Then i could see that its eyes were not even opened yet, it was so tiny. Its wings were just 2 bones sticking out from its body. It was lying on its back and its legs kept kicking into the air. As Mr Gua Gua went to the computer to research on what we could do for the baby bird, i put my hand above it and gave it reiki, while chanting Medicine Buddha’s name. Its kicking slowed down and i hoped that my hand plus the reiki gave it some warmth and comfort.

Mr Gua Gua came into the kitchen telling me it needed glucose water for quick energy. We did have glucose powder and a dropper so i got down to feeding it. The dropper hole was a little too big, and each drop of water practically covered its tiny head though i tried my best to drip the glucose water only into the mouth. After 3 or 4 drops, it closed its beak. I gently nudged its beak with the dropper and it refused to open. Mr Gua Gua who was still doing surfing the net for info asked if it was eating. I told him i felt like i was force feeding the baby bird (this reminds me of little boy!) and Mr Gua Gua said i had to. A part of me felt this didn’t seem right, but i was also afraid that the bird would starve to death otherwise, so i continued dripping the glucose water into the bird’s beak everytime it opened, which it did from time to time. The area surrounding the bird became wet soon, and i tried my best to gently roll the bird over to a drier spot.

Minutes later, Mr Gua Gua came into the kitchen telling me that we shouldn’t have given liquids to the bird and another website said, berries. We didn’t have berries in the kitchen, though we did have raisins. But raisins? Even if we were to give it a tiny piece, the bird would prob choke! I was getting infuriated with Mr Gua Gua’s net advice that changed within moments, and decided to do my own research. It turned out that we really shouldn’t have fed the baby bird liquids - what we could have given was mashed hard boiled yolk mixed with sugar water.

Well, on hindsight, after all that net surfing, i realised we did a lot of things we shldn’t have done. Glucose water was one - and we shldn’t even be feeding the bird at all as it was already nighttime and birds aren’t sup to eat at night. Rolling the bird was another - I wouldn’t have done that to a newborn baby. And then I was talking in my normal pretty loud volume to Mr Gua Gua right in front of the bird which prob added to its stress. And the paper towels were also prob too hard and uncomfortable for the bird - i discovered later that it’s better to make a little nest of tissue paper which would help to support its body and legs better. Well, after reading this, i did get some tissue and tried to roll the bird on it, and it did look more comfortable, as its neck and legs seemed well supported by the creases and folds of the tissue paper. Unfortunately, during our next check a few minutes later, it was back on its back somehow, and its neck was in a really bad position that i wldn’t want a newborn baby to be in. I tried my best to get it back on its side position. After that, i read that peeking on the bird adds to its stress and shld be minimized, so i didn’t peek at it anymore and don’t know how it fared after that, in terms of lying position. I figured that it’s prob better to just let it sleep, instead of moving it around and disturbing it.

At the very least, we did provide it with warmth by putting a cup of hot water in the box and placing a towel over the box to keep the heat in. I guess that’s one thing we did right. And the reiki as well… i hope that helped too.

Mr Gua Gua was really worried about the bird and kept surfing the net for more info. He also called up SPCA to find out what we/they could do. Turned out, the man said if the bird were to be brought there, it would prob be put down, and just as they were talking, he had already sent out instructions to come and pick up the bird. Mr Gua Gua, in his usual diplomatic way, told him we preferred to try our best to take care of the bird ourselves, since putting down was killing. Well, that was that. I wasn’t surprised to hear this from SPCA, as i already knew they have this practice of putting animals to sleep, since there isn’t enough resources to care for sick and weak animals which require a lot of attention. However this is something i can’t condone, and i told Mr Gua Gua we would just have to do our best, since we prob have more time and resources than they do, especially when it was my day off the next day, and I prob could manage the every half hour feeding that was required for the baby bird.

For the rest of the night, we didn’t check on the bird and assumed that it was sleeping. Mr Gua Gua was worried about whether it would survive and i was trying to be optimistic, telling him that it couldn’t be a coincidence that Mr Gua Gua would decide to water the plants a 2nd time and hence found the bird. The universe or someone up there wanted us to rescue the bird, so the bird must be a survivor and would live on. I felt so confident saying this and felt it must be true.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t. I woke up in the morning and my first thought was to prepare food for the baby bird. However, Mr Gua Gua came from little boy’s room, where we left the box, distraught and in tears. He told me the bird was dead and being attacked by ants. I didn’t want to look at the bird - just knowing the above was more than enough. It was sad to hear that but i was no where as emotional as Mr Gua Gua, who was really really upset abt not being able to save the bird. He brought the bird to give it a burial. In the meantime, i did EFT for him (didn’t tell him abt this) and he came up looking pretty much back to his normal self, which of cos could be partly due to the carthartic effect of the burial and the chanting he did for the baby bird.

I also EFTed myself for the guilt i felt about doing all the wrong things we did last night. It was a lesson for me about compassion without wisdom and skilful means. I felt like i somehow caused the bird’s death. Perhaps if i hadn’t given the glucose water, or moved the bird so much. Or if i had prepared a softer bed for it, or was quieter around it. Perhaps perhaps perhaps…

But the EFT and my own rational mind told me that there are probably other factors that led to the bird’s death. For one, who knows how long it had been lying there in the water. The other thing was, it was a windy night and it must have been blown out of its nest, and onto the corridor floor which must have been a painful fall. Who knows if it was even injured by the fall? And it was also so tiny… i shld have realised that its chances of surviving weren’t high at all. But who would have known?

Mr Gua Gua and i consoled each other with the fact that if the bird had to die, at least it was given some warmth and love before it died, and had prayers done for it right before its death as well as after. We each did our own chanting separately and dedicated the merits of our chanting to the baby bird. May it obtain a better rebirth where it could receive Buddha’s teachings and be led towards liberation.

For me, this was also a lesson about death and grief. I had only a couple of personal encounters with death in my life -my grandmother and 2 schoolmates who drowned in a camping trip that i went for. Months back, my cousin also had a miscarriage few days before the delivery date. I cried when i heard the news - we were all looking forward to welcoming the baby. And being a mother, this news felt even closer to my heart.

If even this short encounter with a baby bird could leave me with this sadness and guilt, i don’t know what it could be like for her, and i don’t think i could ever imagine. And now i would be able to appreciate, more than just on an intellectual level, that grief is not something to be taken lightly. The complexity of emotion is too great, for others to expect the person to “just move on”. Yes, the person has to move on, but in her own time and space, and not for other people’s sake. And even as she moves on, the road ahead would surely be a rocky one.

This is not a subject that i can write much about. It’s too sensitive, and i dare say my own fears about losing of loved ones keep me from dvelving more deeply into this subject. The only sentence that keeps returning to my mind now is what i just read in Louise Hay’s book today - 

Death is only a change of form.

May my cousin remain strong in her journey with her grief, and may all those who encounter death in their lives, remember or learn that the divinity in us is eternal, transcending form and time, and that we will all meet again some day.

Our anniversary celebration was a simple but sweet one. It started really late cos Mr Gua Gua actually went out to buy my pressies, with his defense being he had to order them as they were not in stock. Fortunately he redeemed himself by choosing me gifts that i really liked and would find useful - a stylish leather (synthetic) bag for weekends (instead of the bright blue schoolbag that i carry to work everyday) that is big enough to contain my 1 litre waterbottle which is an essential, as well as a Little Prince watch, with a white strap and a picture of the Little Prince that comes with greenish background (green being my fave colour). The latter is smth i really love, cos of the storybook and whimsical pictures, and now i can refer to my watch during my sessions with clients, instead of having to estimate the time in my head or actually bringing a small clock with me into the counselling room. So well done Mr Gua Gua, for the tasteful choices, and thank you for not buying me Gua Gua gifts this time round!

I had wanted to try out an organic vegetarian cafe for lunch as my colleague has bought some food to the office before and the veggie wrap that i sampled was so good that my lunch seemed heavy and artificial-tasting in comparison. Organic is really different… whether you think going organic is a necessity or just something that’s been overhyped, there’s just no denying that organic foods taste richer and sweeter, without the need of additional seasonings at all. The freshness of the veggies in the wrap combined with a zesty dressing just burst in my mouth, tantelizing my tastebuds without overwhelming. Too bad we started the day late, so have to check the cafe next time. It’s next to Aljunied MRT, address unknown - perhaps you guys may keep a look out for it if you pass by the area.

Instead, we went to a Taiwanese cafe at Cathay Cineleisure for a quick bite before our movie. In my opinion, it’s more presentation than anything else. The environment was comfortable and Mr Gua Gua enjoyed the Chinese songs playing in the background, but the food was so-so and i cld definitely find better foods elsewhere at a fraction of the price. Whatmore, later i was quite thirsty so i think they prob added MSG to the food. That’s prob my first and last visit to this place.

We watched The Seeker which was interesting in the first half of the movie but became very predictable and cliche with a too-good-to-be-true ending at the end. Perhaps cos it’s Harry-Potter style, i was disappointed that the plot was quite straightforward (even though i didn’t guess that the 6th sign was ____ - better not spoil the ending for you guys) and the characters rather 2-D, unlike Harry Potter with its multiple plot twists and complex characters. Mr Gua Gua told me it’s based on a bestselling children’s book, and i guess it’s for children after all, whereas Harry Potter started off as a children’s book and became more geared towards the adults later on, so can’t really compare, though it’s hard not to when both movies are in the same genre. There really are a lot of fantasy/adventure movies coming out these days, ever since Harry Potter and Narnia. We watched trailers of another 2 more coming up, one of which seemingly a potential must-see, starring Nicole Kidman as the evil guy. Shall keep a lookout for it in the cinemas.

After the movie we went for our feast. Initially i wanted us to go to Oscar’s as i saw a gd review of it in the papers and Mr Gua Gua’s budget is sup to something like the sky’s the limit. But i somehow thought Oscar’s was the restaurant we passed by the other day and we both thought it looked good, and after some confusing discussion with Mr Gua Gua abt the location of the restaurant, we realised that that restaurant was actually the one in Hotel Rendevous. After some thought, i decided to go to the latter instead, since we had wanted to try that out too, and Oscar’s was really pricey, at $50+ per pax, and after Mr Gua Gua’s splurges on my pressies, i thought i better give his wallet a break.

It turned out to be a really gd decision cos the food was excellent. What i liked was that there wasn’t the usual starchy or meaty stuff like pasta, potato stuff, noodles, etc. There was only chicken rice and a few trays of diff meats, but that was it, and Mr Gua Gua and i hardly touched those. We went for the Japanese food and seafood section - the flower crabs were absolutely yummy, and of cos, we had sashimi. I haven’t eaten crabs for a long long time (esp since most crabby dishes out there are live) so i spent quite some time enjoying the flower crabs, and the good thing is the shell is thin enough to bite through, so it wasn’t too much of a pain to get to the sweet flesh inside.

Personally i also liked the salad section though i’m not sure if it was the esp good selection/combi of veggies or just me enjoying the fact that i could return to my old days of starting any feasting with salads, without little boy around where i wld feel compelled to zoom straight into the main dishes in case there isn’t enough time to eat before little boy starts acting out!

However what was the undeniably good section was…. you can prob guess, the dessert section! The range was amazing, with the soupy stuff, kuehs, cakes, chocolates, icecream, chocolate fondue with choice of fruits, and those little shot glasses containing different kinds of delectable looking concoctions. Mr Gua Gua and i both chose the one containing raspberries, and it was absolutely delish! Too bad we were already quite full and cldn’t really have a blast with the desserts, but thank gdness i still had space for their famous durian cake, and GOSH… it was so light, fluffy and yet, so rich with the durian flavour at the same time, that it gave me multiple food orgasms. No kidding… It’s a pity that little boy wasn’t here, cos with his new fantastic appetite, i think he wld have enjoyed the food, esp the durian cake. But after hearing my rave reviews abt the buffet, i think my mum may treat us there for my sis’s birthday which is coming up in Nov, so little boy may get his chance after all… better get my camera fixed up before that so i cld capture his expression upon taking his first bite of the durian cake! Wld definitely see an index finger up - or two!

Well, it was really a simple day, but a special one as well. I wldn’t have enjoyed the feasting so much if i was eating with anyone else but Mr Gua Gua - nothing enhances good food better than good company. Even though if his jokes can be lame and repetitive at times (plus always themed around the same annoying subjects), he still makes me laugh my head off, and of cos, it’s always nice to dig into food with someone who is also a glutton just like you.

So thanks Mr Gua Gua for the lovely presents, the simple but nice day with the fantastic feast at the end, and most of all, for your unconditional love and support. Even if i may moan and groan about all your flaws and annoying idiosyncracies at times, at the end of the day, i still count my blessings that i have you at my side to journey together with in this life. Thanks for your infinite tolerance (ya i do know i’m a pain at times!) and for always choosing to see my positive qualities, esp when i choose to focus on the negative. Love you…and hope we will live to be like that old couple in that French movie, Love me love me not, where we will enjoy the sun together and exchange sweets. 

So please continue to take your vitamins, sleep early, and start doing some exercise… !