Sweet Miracles

Happy CNY to all!

Today was a really nice and relaxing day as for once, we didn’t have to visit Kevin’s relatives until tomorrow, so we only had 2 places on our schedule - my in laws’ and my grandmother’s where everyone gathers. This was a welcome change from last year where we went to about 3 or 4 places which is super tiring, not just for little boy but for us as well. It’s always twice the effort having to bring a lil one ard, whether the lil one is a big baby of almost 1 year old or an active toddler of almost 2!

It was also a relief not to have to travel up and down as Mr Gua Gua and stayed up to almost 5 am the night before. My reason was because of little naps caught during the day and a long one in the evening where i fell asleep with little boy, plus all the chores and angpow packing that i had to do. Mr Gua Gua didn’t take any naps but had a lot of work to do around the house. I think he managed to cram a whole year of cleaning into 2 days or so. I was pretty impressed by his efforts, but needless to say, he was exhausted.

So this morning he had trouble waking up but after he finally did, we spent the morning in a very nice family way, thanks to me forbidding the TV from being switched on despite Mr Gua Gua’s claims of all the wonderful special CNY programs. Without the TV on, we were much more centred on one another, and we spent the morning putting up CNY decorations, Mr Gua Gua doing his prayers, and the best part: lazing around on the mattress in little boy’s room. I thought it was by far the best activity we have ever done - it’s free, relaxing, and we laughed a lot together. Maybe we shld make it a regular part of our weekends from now on.

I also managed to catch a video of little boy singing. These days he loves to sing, with his own tune and lyrics, in a grown up way. He even uses Mr Gua Gua’s flute as a microphone, and looks so engrossed in his singing. He actually has pretty gd stage presence (don’t think we’re just saying that cos we’re his parents!) and today, he looked so handsome with his new clothes that i wonder how many girls’ hearts he’s gonna break in the future. Anywayz, the video even includes little boy saying xie xie at the end. Wonder who taught him that! Well, i finally FINALLY decided to check out YouTube, so for all little boy lovers out there, here he is in action!

<object width=”425″ height=”373″><param name=”movie” value=”http://www.youtube.com/v/16BMBdqZnR4&rel=1&border=1″></param><param name=”wmode” value=”transparent”></param><embed src=”http://www.youtube.com/v/16BMBdqZnR4&rel=1&border=1” type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” wmode=”transparent” width=”425″ height=”373″></embed></object>

http://youtube.com/watch?v=16BMBdqZnR4 (the embedded link didn’t work… maybe i didn’t copy and paste right, so do click on the link to watch the video. Also not sure how to rotate the video, so for now, you gotta watch it sideways. Would appreciate if more tech-savvy readers could offer me some tips!)

 Thank you! I love you all too!

I made a super tasty peanut stock for little boy’s porridge today and was very gratified to see him eat more than usual during his lunch, of cos with the method described in the previous entry. He took his own sweet time eating, and i was trying my best not to anticipate his leaving the chair halfway (law of attraction!), but he ate up almost all in the end. In fact, i would have prob stopped him from eating it all up, if he hadn’t stopped by himself cos his stomach was so big and round. Sigh, seeing little boy’s tummy in this state is prob my best reward for all the efforts i put into his meals!

We decided to visit my in laws before little boy’s nap as we had to go to my grandma’s place in the evening. Going to my in laws’ place was another relaxing affair, and as i didn’t have any breakfast except for a handful of cashew nuts, i was looking forward to her CNY dish of mixed vegetable stew, Hakka style, which she and the rest of Kevin’s aunties cook every CNY. One year i ate the same dish 4 times, and each time i was asked, whose stew is better, i could barely come up with an answer cos they tasted practically the same!

 Dragging his bag of mandarin oranges behind him!

 My FIL introducing the various Buddhas to little boy - note little boy catching on the right way to point to enlightened masters and respected saints.

 In his Yeye’s fave chair - with this smile, now i can see what Mr Gua Gua means by how much little boy resembles his Yeye! Also, just noticed the colour coordination in this pic.

We did a simple tea ceremony with my in laws, and then little boy got his angpows. Alas, he didn’t do his gong xi gong xi this year round. After which, he played with Kevin’s sis while i could relax and enjoy my food. He had a blast of a time playing with Kevin’s sis, but we had to leave close to 3 pm as he had already missed his naptime by 2 hours and he was starting to walk like a drunkard! Nevertheless, he insisted on running back home and didn’t want us to carry him. Unfortunately, he tripped and fell on his face! His nose and upper lip was grazed with minor scratches, though deep enough to have blood dripping from them so he looked quite scary. He cried for a few seconds and then started running again so we were thinking how fearless he was. Alas, i think he was putting it on, cos when we refused him from sitting on a kiddy ride, he had a huge meltdown, I’m guessing prob from the bad fall and his much needed rest.

 Mummy, how could you still take my pix with me in this state!

We all slept once we got home and woke up almost 6 pm. On our way to my grandma’s place, i was worried about the reaction we are gonna get from my aunts and uncles about little boy’s by-then red and sore looking nose and upper lip. I tensed up at the thought of being scolded for not taking care of him and everyone giving him pitiful expressions and groans. So what did i do? EFT! First i EFTed for little boy’s injuries cos it is sup to promote healing and i guess i was hoping for some miracle whereby little boy’s scratches would have healed somehow before we arrived. Well, i didn’t do enough of that for the miracle to happen, so i then switched to doing EFT for my relatives e.g. “even though i (my relatives) am shocked to see little boy’s face…. “.

But after one round, i realised what i really shld be doing EFT on was for myself, so i tapped on all the possible remarks i may receive e.g. “even though so and so will call me an irresponsible mother… (now that remark alone was enough to get me feeling heated up and defensive even in the taxi so i tapped a lot on that, visualing all the potential relatives who might say it in the most critical manner), i choose to be cool about it.” After which, i got an insight, that prob everyone in this extended family has been criticised before by another family member or more, for their parenting style as well as many other things. That’s just how my family is like, and a huge part of it is because they only know how to express their love and concern in this manner. So if they did criticise me, it isn’t the first time and neither would it be last, so i shldn’t be taking it personally. Instead, i could choose to respond in a calm and gracious manner, even laugh about it and be one of those who could truly stay unaffected by the criticism (not many i shld say!).

I don’t know if it’s the EFT but lo and behold, while they were surprised by little boy’s face, none of them gave the negative, harsh reaction that i expected. They were only asking how it happened, and they didn’t even do the “oh you poor thing” script. On the other hand, little boy was looking quite solemn and didn’t want to smile at all. Thank gdness for the 2 girls who made it their mission to make little boy laugh, so they entertained little boy by throwing balloons down the staircase with him at the bottom, and my mum was able to feed him his dinner this way while Mr Gua Gua and i, again, could have a relaxing dinner (2 relaxing meals in 1 day… it’s a gd day!).

Little boy cheered up considerably thanks to the 2 girls and he was back to his happy active self. My aunt wanted to take my cousin and her family to River Ang Pow to watch the fireworks, and since little boy had such a late nap, we decided to go along. In the car, the older girl V kept telling me about how her magic ribbon managed to make little boy smile every time and it was indeed a magic ribbon. Later i told her that little boy was prob smiling cos she was smiling at him, so she concluded she had a magical smile, with which i fully agreed!

She was such a sweet little dear and kept wanting to hold my hand. I feel we have a really gd connection together, as i recalled that during her last visit when she was hardly passed being a toddler, the moment she saw me she came to me and sat on my lap and everyone was surprised. Well, i felt my heart warming up to her very easily as well this time round, and i totally enjoyed having her hand in mine as we walked down to River Ang Pow. Geez… i wonder when would little girl be here! I am totally going to love having a daughter! When i had to let go of her hand cos i happened to be holding both her and little boy and little boy was walking a lot slower, she was rather reluctant and had to be cajoled by her mum to let go.

I also love the younger one S just as much, just that she is quieter and hence didn’t initiate as much contact with me. But she has her own charm, and when we have the opportunity to connect, her sweetness endears my heart to her as well. For all her apparent shyness, she is definitely a star, just as bright as her older sis and i think there is a cheeky side to her somewhere inside there, cos when my aunt teased for being lazy and wanting to be carried, she stuck her tongue out sweetly at her! For a brief period, when V was elsewhere, she also came up to hold my hand saying now it’s her turn, and i was most glad! However very soon after, she let go of my hand, muttering something about perhaps someone else wants to hold my hand. I feel she’s a really giving, compassionate child and hope the world would treat her the same.

Later, i had a gd workout by offering my carrying services to V cos i knew she couldn’t see the interesting stuff from her level. I recall that in my younger days, i didn’t enjoy such outings much as there were always so many pple and all i can see is people’s legs, and get jostled around, feeling suffocated and all. Furthermore, being young, i got tired from all the walking, yet i was too big for the adults to carry, so it was usually a most miserable kind of outing for me. Perhaps that’s why till this day, i don’t enjoy shopping all that much. So perhaps cos i could still rem what it’s like to be a kid, i gave more attention to V since S is more likely to be well taken care of, being the younger one. I think V appreciated me carrying her, and her arms were wrapped tightly around my neck. However she was also quite considerate and voluntarily came down when she knew my arms were getting tired.

Later during the dragon dance, i carried her again and she was fascinated by the chinese dragon. She asked me how many people were inside, so i guess she confused the dragon dance with the lion dance. I pointed out the sticks that supported the dragon and she understood that for the dragon dance, the people are below. She still asked me how many people there were, and i estimated 7-8 but told her i wasn’t sure. and she could count the sticks. But the dragon was moving so quickly, so she said, when the dragon slows down, she would count the sticks. I thought she sounded disappointed and was going to tell her nevermind, but in the next minute, the dragon did slow down so we counted them together - there were 9! She reminded me i said 7-8, so i laughed and told her i estimated wrongly.

This was a simple interaction but it reminded me of the frankness and determination of a child that i know i once had and somehow lost. For a child, there is no neverminds, or it’s okays. What she wants, she wants, and whenever possible, she would figure out a way to get it. As an adult, i now compromise too much, give up my wishes a lil too often, and like to tell myself stuff of neverminds and it’s okays, which in other words mean that i don’t matter, and other people don’t care. So when i tried to say the same to V, who still knows that she IS the centre of her universe and she holds a very important place in this world, my words sounded out of sync and meaningless.

In fact, a few times when i was talking to V, i realised how meaningless my responses seemed to be. For the most part, i tried to affirm whatever she was saying, but at times, i realised i was trying to “subtly” teach her about things, or basically saying lame stuff which didn’t add on to the conversation in any way. I’m not criticising myself here, rather just reflecting about this. That’s why it’s always so nice to be around a child. They help you to become more aligned with what is honest and true, basically, with Life itself. Indeed, it’s not so much about what we give to our children, but rather what they give to us.

Well, it was indeed a very nice day spent with loved ones, which ended with a wonderful fireworks display. I think this is actually one of my best CNY day 1s so far!

 Little boy with the 2 girls… 2 girls looking bored with all the photo taking (this is about my 7th photo of them at this spot), and little boy… i don’t know what he is doing!

 Our CNY family photo

Wow… one hour more before little boy awakens. I slept at 11 plus pm and woke up at 4 am today and couldn’t get back to sleep so perhaps i’ll get one more hour of sleep just to last through the rest of the day. We will be visiting Kevin’s relatives today. More angpows to give and for little boy to receive!

There seems to be many things to rejoice over lately.

First is finding a fantastic banana muffin recipe which is so simple to make, yet produces such fabulous results. Have already made 3 batches in the last week. 1st batch for little boy. 2nd batch for office, which was so well received that my colleague bought me more bananas so i cld make more muffins, and hence, my 3rd batch also for office, as well as some for my mum. The latter is usually critical but even she said they were gd, albeit on the sweet side, prob cos i added choc chips. My colleagues loved my 3rd batch even more than my 2nd batch… guess sweetness is not a prob for them when it comes in the form of choc chips. I brought a big container of muffins to office and by the end of the day, it was all gone - i took home the container on the pretext of reusing it but really, looking at the empty container reminded me of my colleagues’ raves about my muffins, which gave me such a sense of pride and joy. If there’s one thing better than eating the fruits of your labour yourself, it’s seeing other pple eating them with great delight. So i’m rejoicing over finding a gd recipe, and little boy sleeping early on those couple of nights which gave me the opportunity to make the muffins, and for being able to share muffins with my colleagues who were so appreciative.

I also rejoice about my work. I was quite pissed with my management for their delay in getting back to me about my request for pay review, and a few times, i wld have shot them in email if it was not for Mr Gua Gua’s advice against it. In the end, i did shoot them anyway, though i wasn’t emotional while writing it, but in a rather self-righteous, indignant manner, and i just stated quite frankly in my email that if it was not for the fact that i liked my work and my colleagues, i wld have followed the footsteps of my ex-colleagues long ago. I meant it in a matter-of-fact way and just wanted them to know how i truly felt. But at the same time, writing that also made me remember once again how i genuinely love my work and my colleagues. My mum often moans over my low pay and tell me how i shld just quit and find another job that pays me better, but even she is unable to say anything when i tell her that despite the low pay, i get to do what i want to do here, and that gives me great job satisfaction, which is not something everyone can boast about. I wld rather boast abt job satisfaction than pay - but that’s me.

So today, i was walking home and reflecting abt this while carrying my empty muffin container, and i remembered that i was actually in a bad mood before going to work today, and thought i wld be offering the muffins with a rather black face, so my colleagues wld just have to enjoy my sweet offerings despite my not so sweet mood. It turned out that it was not possible for me to share the muffins without feeling cheerful, plus i had a client who came late today and i could only have a quick half an hour chat with her. In spite of that, she was so appreciative of me and even said it was her gd fortune to meet me. Needless to say, i was immensely gratified. All these came to my mind as i was walking home, and this quote came to me. “Happiness is a perfume that you cannot give to others without getting a few drops on yourself”. How true… and how lucky i am to have a job that allows me to give happiness to others almost effortlessly. Hence i rejoice.

I also rejoice for abundance, which i sometimes feel a lack of and EFT for myself using set up statements like ”even though i feel underpaid, i thank the universe for abundance that may come in other ways”. Indeed, my mum has always been generously giving me/little boy stuff, and her most recent biggie was sponsorship of my hypnotherapy course which is starting this Fri (!!!) as well as a quantum hypnotherapy 2-day workshop organised by my hypnotherapy teacher and taught by someone from overseas, which i’m highly looking forward to. Really excited about this… have this feeling that i will really be learning things that will help me be more effective in my counselling. So i rejoice over the opportunity to advance in my professional development and for having supportive family, including Mr Gua Gua who has been giving me plenty of career advice, including prophetic guidance… haha… as much as he craps his Gua Gua style jokes, i actually do believe in his prophetic ability - call it self-fulfilling prophecy, placebo effect, or whatever, but whatever it is, i do get the courage and hope to strive on cos of it. So i may not have been saying this enough (or recently, at all) to Mr Gua Gua, but thank you, and this is one of the things i rejoice for as well. (Tomorrow is our anniversary day so guess it’s also a gd time to say i love u!)

And speaking of abundance, i finally got my long-awaited response from the management, and yes, i got my pay raise! I actually dreamt recently that i got a 40% increment (i asked for a 110% increment… call me crazy but that’s also how underpaid i was), and Mr Gua Gua said that’s a gd sign. Well, i got a slightly higher increment than that. Frankly, I am still underpaid but at least now it’s still within acceptable range… and hurray, i can finally start saving properly, with perhaps some extras for myself now. Rejoicing that i have now the perfect job, with work i love, caring and kind colleagues, not too bad pay, and potentially, management whom i can communicate with and who may support me in fulfilling my aspirations.

Last but not least, i rejoice for the beautiful little boy in my life. He gets more and more adorable with each day. This morning, the moment he woke up, he gave me a wet smooch on my cheek, which totally surprised me. I cldn’t have asked for a better way to start the day (well, actually i can but still waiting for that day to come). Then in the morning, he tried to help me sweep the floor. In the evening, he helped me wipe the water he spilled on the floor, even taking the blue scoop and trying to imitate how i mop the water up with a towel and squeeze the water into the scoop. It was so cute to see him earnestly using both hands and wiping the floor, with butt in the air, Cinderella style. I got such a good little helper here!

My MIL left a bowl of black sesame paste for me (yes, i shld rejoice over supportive and gd in laws too… don’t appreciate them as much as i shld), which i shared with little boy and he enjoyed it so much he kept leaning over eagerly for the next bite. Luckily he’s not put off by the colour, cos i have a nephew who refused to eat anything black, even chocolate (though he prob made an exception for chocolate by now). Black sesame paste is very nutritious and i’m glad he likes it. And i just love watching him eat anything healthy with such obvious delight!

After i gave him the last scoops, i passed him his face towel to wipe his mouth. The little fella did it in such a cheeky and ridiculous way - turning his face left and right in rapid motion on the towel without moving his hands - that i cldn’t help but laugh my head off. And he continued doing it in the midst of my laughter, so i’m guessing that he was trying to tickle my funny bone.

And later during bedtime, usually he sleeps without a pillow and i rest my head on the bolster while he nurses. This evening he patted the bolster and said, orh orh, which meant sleep, and then he scrambled up so his head was also on the bolster. I cuddled up with him and told him, orh orh, must close eyes. And he closed his eyes, but then peeped out to see what i was doing. I told him again to close his eyes, and i told him Mummy will also close eyes, which i did. Few seconds of silence later, little boy made this heeheehee laugh (a bit like Ernie from Sesame Street) which was so unexpected that i laughed my head off.

Again, i told him to close eyes and closed my own eyes. Few seconds later, he did the heeheehee laugh again. This happened a few more times, and in the end i just grabbed him up and gave him a good hug cos he was just so endearingly cute and funny. I know he was just doing it to make me laugh, and he was indeed a natural comedian, even knowing to create that few seconds of suspense to increase the sense of anticipation so that the funny gesture would be even funnier. What a little joker! And i rejoice for this bundle of happiness who makes me laugh and melts my heart every day. I also rejoice for his good appetite - his double chin is back! Too bad my digicam is broken or the before/after diarrhea pics wld be something interesting to scrap abt! Well, all’s well that ends well. Now i wonder if the diarrhea is really a blessing in disguise, since little boy’s appetite has improved so drastically after that, that now he’s at risk of becoming a little fatty. And i rejoice!

Honestly, 24 hours ago, i was in a miserable state cos i was thinking about all the things which i wanted and lacked. Now, i’m feeling peaceful, contented and happy. Guess the difference between a poor man and a rich one is merely the act of counting one’s blessings. And i rejoice for this entry of rejoicing, and hope that i remember to do this more often!  

So many things to update and so little time… esp since i also wish to do scrapbooking, clear my email (all 100+ of them!) and still pack our luggage for the next few days where little boy and i wld be staying at my mum’s pl again while Mr Gua Gua is on another business trip, this time to HK (quality scallops for little boy!).

In other words, i gotta keep things short and sweet if i wanna blog abt all the blog-worthy things that have happened in the past few days. And this means… lots and lots of PICTURES. Enjoy!

Sentosa

The hotel was fabulous…lots of fauna and flora all ard so it seems almost as if we were staying in a jungle. We got a lovely view of the beach and sea, and there was a wonderful swimming pool which included a 4-storey waterfall which fell over staircases and rocks that you can have access to and actually climb, if adventurous enough (it’s really safer than it looks, and yup, i did bring little boy up :P), as well as 2 water slides that’s REALLY thrilling. Even though little boy have experienced the big boy slide, the water slide is frictionless and hence, really fast, but i just cldn’t resist letting little boy try, so i put him on my lap and went down the slide together with him, with Mr Gua Gua waiting below in case i lose little boy after splashing into the water.

Result? Little boy was a bit panicked and alas, today at AlantisCity, he spent almost half an hour on the platform which connects to the top of the big blue slide, and despite many children walking past him to go down the slide, he just refused to go down the slide, even waving his hand and saying “BOH” (erm… i guess that’s his version of no for now… maybe i shld check if the tea company needs a child model for their next advertisement). So i guess that’s the outcome of forcing little boy to do something he wasn’t ready for. But to give myself credit, i didn’t insist on little boy going down the slide today (well, i did put him on the slide and tried to push him down gently but his bum stayed locked in place…), and just let him hang ard there walking up and down even though all the fun activities were on ground floor.

Another outcome of the water slide event was a bruise on my hip cos i cldn’t protect myself while going down. Sigh… no more daredevil tricks from Mummy next time!

The beach was great! Mr Gua Gua was mostly soaking in the sea, little boy was playing with his beach toys, and i was digging a big hole in the sand which i actually enjoyed. Initially wanted to build a mini swimming pool for little boy but ended up just creating a little foot bath for him, and Mr Gua Gua managed to fill it up with water after countless trips of fetching water from the sea.

   The parts of Mr Gua Gua and me still considered sexy (haha… Mr Gua Gua, take it as a compliment!)

 Fun in the sand

 Little boy hanging on tight to Mr Gua Gua!

 Yes, that’s a frog in the sand… why do they pop up everywhere?!

  What is this father and son duo doing?!

We played a trick on little boy by trying to cover up the hole and bury him inside. But he was too quick for us, and within a few moments, he was out. Too bad, no cute shot for the camera! This was all i got…

 This is just a nice shot i got of Mr Gua Gua.. a rare natural smile caught on camera!

 Woah… little boy striking a hunky pose!

The new musical fountain Songs of the Sea was not bad… Hollywood action movie style with plenty of fiery explosions and fireworks which were quite exciting, and i think little boy def enjoyed himself. Still, i prefer the old musical fountain cos there was more music and water swaying, and i liked that fishies song. Oh well, i’m not much of an action movie fan after all.

The hotel breakfast was pretty basic, with the usual eggy stuff, sausages, cereals, etc. BUT, little boy actually ate quite a lot, as can be seen below, and that makes me so happy, esp seeing little boy feed himself so i can enjoy my food in peace! Ahhh… and i thought this day wld never come.

The Underwater World was a rushed visit as we went there almost dinnertime, which is such a waste cos the tix are so ex! In the end, little boy was more interested in the travellator than the fishes… so thank gdness his entry was FOC. Guess we have to bring him when he’s a bit older, and still not yet 3, after which they will start charging.

Just some of the nice pics taken here…

Btw, i sup little boy relly looks cute in this Pooh outfit Mr Gua Gua bought for him (yup, i know he wld like me to mention that here :P) cos this Indian tourist lady actually grabbed him up and wanted her photo taken with him. Of cos, little boy was shocked and cried, so i came to his rescue and the lady had to settle for her photo to include me as well. Geez… little boy has become another Underwater World exhibit!

Birthday cake cutting was simple but nice. Little boy clapped together with the birthday song and after the candle was blown, he poked his finger into the cake and allowed me to suck the cream off. We did this for a few times until the one side of the cake became quite “holy”. Hehe… well, it was a sinfully rich choc cake Mr Gua Gua bought from Bakerzin… and i let little boy eat some of the chocolate balls, which he enjoyed with much delight!

Finally, in our last hour before checkout, more water play for little boy… and the fella must have drunk gallons of water!

 And he influenced this very cute little boy to do the same!

Then he saw this “bear bear” toy which was really a green tiger, belonging to another kid, took it and i had a hard time getting him to give it back when we had to leave. Little boy has an obsession with his “bear bears”!

Ok… finally… time to go home, and little boy is helping with the luggage!

Btw, this trip has kinda made me realise that little boy looks so much bigger and chubbier in singlets. At least i can see his fat arms!

For more photos, visit http:ianpang.myphotoalbum.com!

And thanks to all of you who sent me birthday wishes… and i expected a birthday without wishes as karmic return for my terrible absentmindedness with pple’s birthdays. Thank you guys! (and pls remind me of your birthdays in advance so i can wish you back!)