Sweet Miracles

Dear little boy,

The purity and goodness of your heart amazes me.

The other day, on the way to school, we were at the bus stop and the bus was in sight. You had your school bag on, I had my bag on as well and carrying the stroller in one hand. I got you in my arm and you struggled to get down. I have learnt a long time ago that it is a lot wiser not to fight with you over such things so i placed you back on the ground. Then you said, Mummy bag heavy. Aww… it sounds like that was your reason for wanting to go up the bus yourself. Even though it only happened that one day, Mummy was really touched anyway.

The flu bug has been travelling around and it has decided to visit Papa as well. The other morning, I told you Papa is sick. You echoed in your innocent cutesy way, Papa sick? Yeah, Papa sick, I confirmed. You went to the table and took a bottle of medicine. Well, it wasn’t Papa’s medicine, but you didn’t know that of cos, and you took it to Papa who thought i taught you to do that. When I told him you did it on your own, he was pleasantly surprised and touched as well.

Your kindness was shown yet again when you were out with Mak Mak, Ye Ye and Gu Jie yesterday. Mummy was at work, and Papa was resting at home. You were having fun and didn’t want to come home, but when Gu Jie told you that Papa and Mummy are hungry and they are waiting for you guys to bring dinner back home for us, you obligingly agreed to go home.

In fact, you have started becoming nicer to your soft toy gang as well. In the past you used to bully all of them with punches, throwing around, squashing them by sitting on them, and they would all cry and complain bitterly to Papa and Mummy about how mean you are to them. Ever since Disneyland, you have started treating them quite well, especially Pooga Bear who was the only privileged one to go on the trip with us. Now you hug him all the time, and even give him piggy backs, albeit the fact that he ends up hanging on your back upside down (i’m sure he enjoys the rides anyway!).

Well, but you still tease Pooga Bear. One time, you decided to turn him into a ear-less bear by pulling his ears back with one hand. You got quite a gd laugh out of that, and happily showed off ear-less Pooga to us. Papa remarked, Scary Pooga Bear, and oh yeah, he did look kinda scary that he made me shriek a little. You just continued pulling his ears back, pushing him into our faces, proudly announcing, Scary Pooga! Haha… i must say, these days it’s really fun to play with you cos you catch on so quickly.

Even if your language skills aren’t as good as some toddlers your age, I have no doubt about your understanding ability. When i talk to you, I have a feeling that you understand every word i say. You listen so intently with such intelligent eyes, and when i ask you, do you understand, you say yes, and i fully believe that’s true! So nowadays, i no longer blabber meaningless stuff or ask you stupid questions. I do talk to you almost like to a normal adult, and it’s such a joy when we are having actual conversations such as the following.

When watching Doraemon, there was a scene of a man with a kid he has kidnapped….

You: Bad man.
Mummy: You mean this is a bad man?
You: YES!
Mummy: How do you know he is a bad man?
You: *no reply*
Mummy: Is it because he has hair on his face?
You: Yessss
Mummy: But Papa has hair on his face too (at least in the morning before shaving!). Is Papa a bad man?
You: Nooo
Mummy: So how come this is a bad man?
You: *no reply*
Mummy: Or is it because he is wearing sunglasses?
You: Yessss
Mummy: Ian also has sunglasses. Are you a bad man?
You: Nooo

Papa was chuckling when he heard this conversation, and even though you were just saying mostly yes and no, at least they were the right answers!

Back to your goodness. Mummy spilled something on the floor, and in her usual melodramatic way, she shrieked. You immediately asked, what happen? What happen? in such a concerned manner. I explained the situation to you and you quickly said, Ian clean! Well, i really appreciated the offer. In fact, it’s usually the other way round - you spilled something and i’m the one doing the cleaning (and sometimes i wld be wondering if i will have to clean up after you for the rest of your life!). Nevertheless, i preferred to do the job myself, so i asked you to continue watching tv.

Who knows, you insisted doing the cleaning, so i quickly did the first wipe, and you were hot on my heels, wanting to clean. I rinsed the cloth, and while i was doing that, you actually sayanged my legs, as if to console me about the spillage. When i gave the cloth to you, you went to the area which is already clean, and asked where? I pointed it to you and i think you did some cleaning, which i’m not sure. Then you left the cloth there…. :/ Ah well, little boys are not known for their attention span, so i’ll forgive you for that, and the fact that you wanted to help and even consoled me was already very reassuring for me…. at least I feel that all the love and attention we shower on you are in fact nurturing the goodness in your heart, and it is already starting to blossom.

Dear little boy, i don’t know how come you have suddenly turned into such a gd boy recently. You have always been quite a gd boy but these days, there seems to be nothing to complain abt u! Maybe it’s the Disney trip, maybe Papa has been spending more time with you, maybe… well, who really knows. Whatever it is, it’s a delight to be around you because you are so endearing and humourous, often making us laugh both on purpose and just by being yourself. You have also been singing a lot of songs that you have learnt from childcare, together with the finger movements. While i cannot make out the words, it’s really cute to hear you sing! Unfortunately when you sing, the camera/hp is not ard, and when the camera/hp is ard, you don’t sing. Still, i hope to catch you on audio/video one of these days, so more pple can enjoy your little music performances!

Thank you for being the pure and sweet soul that you are… may you continue to blossom and touch the hearts of pple whereever you go!

Lucky to be your mummy,

Mummy

Dear little boy,

You’re now fast asleep, tired out by an entire day of not sleeping and great interactions with your new teachers and friends. These 2 days have been such a new experience for you, and yet, in no time, you are going to get accustomed to the place, the people and the routine. So Mummy is going to describe how these 2 days were like for you and me, and one day we will prob read this entry together and smile.

On the 1st day of school, we arrived punctually at 11.30 am. It was bathtime, and the kids were all on the 2nd storey, so we chatted with Principal Han for a while, and Ye Ye and Mak Mak also took a look at the place. They only stayed for a few min, and you waved farewell without a problem as Mummy was around.

We went round the place and one of the first things you learnt, upon arrival, was the washing hands routine. You particularly enjoyed pulling the paper towels to dry your hands, and stepping on the dustbin pedal to throw the paper in. You even stepped on the dustbin pedal for other children to throw their paper towels in, and when another boy offered to step for you, you gestured for him to close the dustbin so you could do it yourself.This first day, you went to wash your hands at least 10 times, sometimes 3 or 4 times in a row, and i was beginning to wonder if i should worry if you have obsessive-compulsive disorder in the form of handwashing! Hopefully this little thrill of doing something new would wear off soon… do save the trees!

Lunch arrived soon after, in big plastic barrels that came from Kumpung Senang’s main branch - completely organic and vegetarian. Soon, the whole place was filled with the wonderful fragrance of the food, and as it was slightly past your usual lunchtime, you were lingering around the food, and prob salivating as well.

The moment you saw the food, you exclaimed, rice! Yup, it was pumpkin rice today, with green veg, tofu, and mushroom. There was also winter melon soup, and i was amazed at how good the food looked! Soon, the kids were coming down, walking in twos, fresh from their bath. You joined the toddlers’ table, where the teachers chanted rhythmically verses about putting your hands on your laps (and what else? You will prob teach me one day soon!), followed by a song about giving thanks to the Sun, the Moon, (and what else) and for the food, ending with a xie xie and gan en (thank you and with gratitude in mandarin).

I was quite pleased to see you feeding yourself carefully, hardly dropping any of your food. You were the youngest at the table, and one of the best eaters! Still, as you were used to your porridge and pureed veggies, you only ate about a small bowl due to the chunks of veggies inside. You were also not able to stay still, and being new, the teachers kinda left us on our own, so i had to monitor your movements, and not knowing if i was being too involved or not involved enough.

During naptime, you refused to lie down, as you woke up rather late that morning. Then, you told me, mum mum, hungry! So i had to bring you back down to the dining area where you joined the older kids for a 2nd bowl of rice. Again, you left the table with your bowl half-full, and again, Mummy finished the food for you. Expensive and good food… i wonder how much of it is wasted each day! Though i noticed that the teachers would help to feed the toddlers the remaining food in their bowls, and i knew that whatever leftover untouched foods in the barrels are taken home by the teachers. Hopefully there is minimal wastage.

I took you back upstairs to join the rest for the nap. All the other toddlers were already fast asleep. You, however, were still full of energy. You fidgeted so much, and the 2 teachers weren’t helping at all, perhaps as i was around, that finally i asked the teachers if i could bring you out of the room, and i did. Sigh, the next 2 hours were really looonnngg. You wanted me to carry you up so you could doodle on the whiteboard (and you doodled all over the teacher’s words!), and you managed to ink over Mummy’s shirt too! The weather was really hot, and despite the fan, the room was stuffy. The rooms where the kids were napping had air-con and Mummy found herself wishing to be in those rooms!

When you got bored, you wanted to go back downstairs and you were shaking the safety gate at the staircase, which threatened to wake everyone up. I don’t know how i managed to get you back into the room. I finally brought you downstairs when the older kids woke up. I learnt that the K1/K2 kids go to nap last and wake up last, followed by the nursery kids, followed by the toddlers. So there was still a while more before your classmates would wake up. You were very tempted by the see-saw and slide in the front garden and made a big fuss about going outside. I finally gave in, and you had a few minutes of slide play.  Thankfully, the 2 hours finally ended and the children were coming down for tea break.

Tea was tau suan without the starch and much less sugar, and while some of the kids only attempted sips, surprisingly, you drank half a cup. It seems like you are quite an adventurous eater. We have come a long way from your days as a fussy eater! After that was playtime, and you were pushing me, insisting that we go “play-gound”. Sigh, i just didn’t know what to do, and half the time i just ignored you, wishing the teachers would intercept, though they didn’t, perhaps partly due to the fact that this was the first day and we were new to one another, and partly due to the Steiner hands-off approach. Thank goodness, one of the kids decided to have a mock birthday party and you were attracted to the table when they were singing the birthday song. Then you decided to play masak-masak, and you had a pretty gd time towards the end.

And that was the end of our 1st day of school! It wasn’t too bad. The teachers commented that you seem to be adapting rather well, and at least you didn’t cry much, save for the whining and slight tears here and there. You did throw a tantrum on the way home due to both tiredness and hunger, so Mummy packed biscuits for you on 2nd day of school. Seeing how all the kids had their own backpack, Papa and Mummy also bought you a beautiful blue bag (same colour as Mummy’s bag!), which you proudly carried by yourself on the 2nd day.

2nd day was MUCH better. There were still times when you wanted to repeat the things you did on the 1st day, even though you were not sup to, like draw on the whiteboard, or go to the playground. Aside from that, you were definitely fitting in. Initially, in the 1st half hour, when the toddlers were playing while waiting for everyone to finish their bath, you were reluctant to join in and wanted me to bring you out of the room. But in the last 5 min, you suddenly decided to explore the mini stove/washing machine/oven, and when it was time to go down for lunch, you followed without much fuss.

Lunch today was brown rice, brinjal, cabbage and green veg, with sweetcorn soup. You had much trouble with the cabbage and green veg, but you did eat a fair bit of rice and brinjal and you enjoyed the soup, though Mummy felt your tummy after lunch and it was much flatter than it would be at home after lunch. Hopefully you will get used to chewing veggies soon and eat more!

After that we went up for naptime, and as there were fewer children today due to the long weekend, the toddlers and nursery kids slept in the larger room together. Seeing that the teachers laid down with the kids, i laid down with you too. And then, you wanted your milk milk! I protested at first, but gave in in the end. Unfortunately, even that with the cool air-con didn’t make you sleep. Despite the sleeping bag, the hard floor was uncomfortable for Mummy to sleep on, esp with you wanting your milk milk, and i wonder if that was one reason you couldn’t sleep, even though you woke up earlier this morn. So it was another long 2 hours, but to give you credit, you kept pretty quiet most of the time, and at least you stayed still for about 45 min or so, which would have helped in conserving your energy.

Towards the end, you got more and more restless and started making noises. At one point, you were even going around patting the kids who were not asleep, as if making them sleep! Thankfully, the kids were also waking up and starting to play. You were more interested in their activity than our 1st half hour of today, and you made friends with another boy Leon. When it was time to go down for tea and the teachers sang “Two by two, let’s hold hands, two by two and i hold you” (Mummy learnt it too!), you held hands with Leon and headed for the stairs. On the stairs, Teacher H held both of your hands and you couldn’t hold Leon’s hands, but you were still trying to hold his shoulder which i found cute!

Today’s tea was rice milk and biscuits. You were, again, the first kid at the table to pick up the cup and drink it happily. Alas, when the teacher announced that there were biscuits, you put down the cup and pushed it away, obviously preferring the 2nd option. That’s how you are! Even if the food is already in your mouth, when you see some other preferred food, you would immediately spit out the food in your mouth so you can take the other food instead. When it comes to foods, you don’t know the meaning of wait!

When the teacher gave you a biscuit, you asked Mummy to take one too, so teacher gave you one to give to me. Mmmm… the biscuits were yummy, and organic of cos. All of you loved the biscuits and had 3rd and 4th helpings. After that, you were distracted by the older kids using the playground and wanted to go outside again. Teacher H, seeing how eager you and Leon were, allowed both of you to go outside to ride bicycles. Soon, you were enjoying riding bicycle with your friends, and Mummy took the chance to make some phone calls inside. I was half-expecting you to come in looking for me and was truly surprised when you didn’t. When i peered outside, i was pleasantly surprised by the sight of you enjoying your cycling, and few moments later, sitting on the swing bench between Teacher M and 2 other kids singing songs together. Looks like you were starting to make yourself feel at home!

The rest of the afternoon was gone in a flash as you played with other friends quite well. You also got along with another girl Clara who was this beautiful and lively girl. At one point, you were ringing a bell, and everytime you did that, she would step forward and squeeze your cheeks together. You didn’t seem to mind, and both of you played in this manner for some time. After that, she seemed to decide that she should take care of you, being a few months older, and when Principal H offered you a biscuit, she pushed you from behind gently forward to get the biscuit. Later, when you were going downstairs, she was holding your arm as if to make sure you don’t fall. She ended up being more hindrance than help though, and you were trying to shake her arm off. But i guess you have made yet another friend.

And that was our 2nd day of childcare! Alas, on the way home, you threw another tantrum, though thankfully it was no where as bad as the 1st day, as this time round, Mummy prepared some milk in the car which satisfied your hunger at least. Hmm, looks like Mummy would have to ask the teachers to make milk for you before you go home, since you don’t take enough during lunch and tea break to last till dinner time.

Well, before we left today, Principal H told me that she thought you were adapting quite well, and you know what, i think so too! It’s only the 2nd day and already you are getting along really well with both teachers and kids. Even the older kids know your name and a couple like you very much. The teachers seem to find you endearing too, though they are not the type to sayang. In fact, after today, i am also rather impressed with the teachers’ way of handling you, esp Teacher H. Her gentle and calm manner, as well as her ability to respond to your fussing puts Mummy’s heart at ease, knowing that she will take good care of you from next Mon onwards, when Mummy will no longer accompany you in school.

My dear boy… these 2 days, i have been mostly very pleased with your gd behaviour, and i’m so proud of you for listening to Mummy, at least most of the time. Little memorable moments include:-

when you gently touch other children on the arm or shoulder, your way of wanting to make friends;

when Clara refused to let you pass and you just climbed on her chair and stepped over her (Mummy couldn’t help but smile when i saw that but next time, do say excuse me ok!);

when you played with Mummy’s face like silly putty during nap time - your eyes were so full of light and laughter that despite Mummy’s wishing you to sleep, i couldn’t help but play along, and both of us were chuckling softly;

when pple asked you what was your name, you immediately raised 2 fingers in response (you mixed up the qns la!);

when 1 hour before it was time to go home, you got your bag and tried to carry it, and how you first did it was to carry it in front of you, and then pushed it over your head so it was on your back, but upside down! Then Teacher H helped to slip one strap on your shoulder, and you managed to slip the other one on by yourself. Well done! (though i was actually quite impressed by Teacher H as she patiently waited for you to do the other side, when Mummy would have just helped you with it). Afterwards, you forgot about wanting to go home and just played with the others, while still carrying your bag!

Well, Mummy is very relieved and happy that you are in this great environment which seems to be so filled with love and warmth and all the things needed to nourish you in both body and spirit. The universe has definitely responded to Mummy’s call for a childcare environment that would nurture your potential maximally. I know the next few days might still be challenging, as Mummy won’t be around, but given your independence, social skills and ability to express yourself, i believe that you are going to adapt to this place in no time at all, and soon, you will be looking forward to school every day!

May your 1st school be a wonderful start to your education of Life.

Lots of love,

Mummy

Dear little boy,

It’s been sometime since i wrote a love letter to you. Mummy has been busy lately, and i have missed our mornings together. Thank you for being patient and understanding, that Mummy couldn’t nurse you as late as you preferred to, in the mornings, and had to go out of the house earlier than usual. I know that it wouldn’t be unexpected for a kiddo your age to put up a big fuss, and whine and demand more of Mummy’s time and attention, cos you are used to Mummy being around in the mornings. The fact that you willingly stopped your nursing when Mummy asked you to (for the 5th or 6th time, nevertheless!), and wave bye bye to Mummy as she goes off to work, shows that you are sensible and understanding beyond your years, and Mummy is really very blessed for that!

The weather has been extremely hot these days, and this evening, when you saw the Yakult that Mummy bought, you immediately went, Kult Kult! So Mak Mak gave you one bottle, and you happily drank it all up. Then you went to the fridge and attempted to get another bottle for yourself. When both Mak Mak and Mummy told you no, cos the quota was one per day, you cried bitterly, and kept saying, one more, one more!

(Btw, you are pretty gd with your “mores”, with you one-mores, some-mores, and no-mores!)

Despite my hug and EFT, you were still crying for “one more Kult”, and i decided to take you into the room to nurse, as perhaps you were tired and grumpy with the hot weather. Even as we were lying on the bed, you continued crying, but within the next min, you managed to settle yourself down to nurse, and as you sobbed, i started telling you how everyone loved you very much. You enjoyed this very much, and i knew that everytime Mummy told you how so-and-so (Mummy, Papa, Mak Mak, Popo, etc etc) loved you very much, you would be listening very intently. When Mummy finished the list of pple “who loved you very much”, you would prompt Mummy to continue by saying So-and-So much - which is your short form for this relatively long sentence. Sometimes you would even mention pple who were not part of the immediate family, such as Uncle and Auntie (our neighbours who really do love you dearly).

Similarly, tonight, you quickly quietened as Mummy listed all the people who loved you very much. When i was done, you prompted me to continue with Mak Mak much, and even Mai-Po (Mummy’s aunties, whom we just saw on Sunday) much. After that, i reminded you how everyone loves you, even when you are crying, when you are angry, sad, happy, upset. Of cos, i didn’t mention, when you’re being naughty, because of that one occasion when i casually called you naughty in front of your face, and noticed with with more of shock than amusement, how your relaxed face immediately darkened with a little scowl. Papa quickly assured you that you were a good boy, and again, your face immediately brightened up and you looked happy again. Since then, i never called you naughty again, as now i knew that your feelings would be hurt whenever we do so. Here, i wish to apologise for all those times when we made unmindful comments to your face, not realising that you were paying attention and your feelings got hurt! Do forgive us, my dear!

Well, you were back to your cheerful mood after the love-you-very-much reminders, and i hope you always remember that regardless of the fuss and disappointments of not getting what you want, we do love you very much! After that, you were pretty active and i decided that you were not sleepy so we went out and Mummy had her dinner. In the meantime, you were making quite a mess! Pouring water and spilling it on the floor, followed by pouring biscuits and getting it all over the chair and some on the floor. After the big upset earlier in the evening, Mummy decided not to pursue it, plus she was also busy with dinner. In the end, you took your face towel and got down on your knees to wipe up the water on the floor. Obviously not a 100% correct thing to do, esp when you started wiping yourself with the same face towel after that (!!), but i still appreciated your efforts to do the right thing. And when Mummy asked you to keep the biscuits, not expecting you to respond, you did do what i said, though you ate up half of the biscuits at the same time. It’s always such a delight when you are being a helpful and coorporative boy, and Mummy is really proud of you for that!

When we got back to the bed, Mummy gave you a big hug and told you many times, I love you! Perhaps, partly to make up for all those lost time in the past week, and cos i really missed you more than i realised. I asked you if you could say I love you back to me. Your response was to give me very tight hugs, which was your language for i love you. I wanted you to say i love back to me, and it was a delightful surprise when you suddenly said, I fur-foo!

Both the fact that you attempted to say this wonderful phrase back to me, and the funny way it came out, made me break up in laughter. You were happy about the effect it had on me, and you said it a few more times, which only made me laugh even more, so you started laughing together with me. At that time, i felt like i was just overflowing with love and laughter for you. You were so funny! And you were obviously trying to be mischievous too, cos when i tried to get you to pronounce the words properly, by saying the word I first, which was intended for you to echo, you just spouted yet again, I fur-foo! I think you knew you were not saying it perfectly, and you deliberately said it that way just to be funny.

My dear little boy, you are indeed a natural clown, and even now, as i’m writing this letter, i can’t help but smile at the thought of your funny little antics, like how you would wear a paper bag on your head like a hat, and how you would laugh at yourself when you fall down and say, fall down! How you would echo Mummy’s aiyohs and aiyahs, so that now Singlish has become a part of your daily vocab as well, and how you would do all kinds of forbidden stuff while looking at me out of the corner of your eye, and then giving me an not-so-innocent toothy grin when you see me look right back at you.

My dear little boy, you are starting school next week, and i am really excited for you, because i know you are going to have so much fun with your new friends and teachers, in a beautiful environment that i hope would be like your second home. I hope that it would be a smooth transition for you, and with your highly sociable nature, i hope that you would delight in going to school each day to be with friends your age and learn and play together. I hope that your teachers and friends would fall in love with you, just like how neighbours and relatives do, with your beauty, intelligence and mischievous charm. I hope that Mummy made the right decision for you to be go to this particular centre at this time.

I hope you don’t miss your TV too much, and there will come a day when you would rather be playing creatively with your friends and making up your own fantastic adventures, then sit in front of the TV watching other people’s adventures. I hope that you enjoy the food there, for it would come with greater variety, and you get to eat on your own in the company of your friends. I know you will have no problems eating on your own, and the only reason why Mummy still feeds you is because of her own impatience and lack of tolerance with food wastage, so i think you are going to enjoy the freedom and independence of feeding yourself over there. I hope that you enjoy the little garden over there. There’s not much space to run, but you will get to dirty your hands with the dirt and soil, and i think that’s a must for all little boys, and i think you will still be more active than your usual afternoons at home.

Little boy, i hope that you get to have a REAL childhood in this place. One that is filled with freedom, safety, fantasy and the opportunities to daydream and be a child. I don’t care that you won’t be learning your ABCs and 123s, or algebra or the countries of the world or San Zi Jing. All of that can come later when you are well and ready, not before. Childhood is such precious time, i wldn’t want to take any of it from you by making you act like an adult, or forcing you to do adult activities. You might want to do the latter of cos, just for the fun of it, so you get to imagine yourself as an adult. But trust me, just a little of it is more than enough. Being a child is way better, and i’m sure you know it too. A child’s world is full of possibilities and magic, and i hope you will stay in this world for as long as you need to build up the resources you need to bring these possibilities and magic into the world of the adults. We adults need these very much too!

Fur-fooing you very much,

Mummy