Leaving my job to start my own practice.

Leaving my marriage to step into independence and reclaiming of personal power.

Leaving fuzzylena@yahoo.com to lenachen82@yahoo.com

Today i decluttered my old bedroom at my mum’s place. The maid arrived today, so things were cleared in a jiffy. Thank you universe for sending me manpower!

I also decided to cut my hair much shorter. I have this new theory, that when we have huge changes in our life, the “old DNA” gets moved to the dead cells of the body – nails, outermost layer of our skin, hair. That’s why women cut their hair when they go through breakups or dramatic changes in their lives. I have this feeling that we are literally removing the old DNA in our body.

I have been wanting to cut my hair for a few days now, despite a relatively recent haircut just about a month ago. Obviously, the old DNA wanted OUT! So i asked the universe for a great haircut, and this morning, when i told my sis i wanted my hair really short, she told me the salon near our place which is really cheap, was not too good with short hair. She told me to go to another one which we are regulars of, which is $25 instead of $4.90, but is really good.

I was like, “ok, the universe is sending me my great haircut this way… at least i know who to go to” and i know this hairstylist not only has excellent skills, but is very intuitive as well, and has the knack of styling your hair in a way that suits your personality. But i only had $5 in my wallet and didn’t feel like drawing money from my bank acct since my money was depleting.

Well, i didn’t fret about it and just went back to my room to the computer. Interestingly, the internet connection didn’t get started. It was as if the universe was telling me, “Not the internet now! You need to do something first.”

“What?”

“Ask your sister to sponsor you for the haircut.”

Hmmm…. okaaayyyy…..

So i did, and she handed over the money, with a slight wry grimace, but well, there’s my sponsored haircut!

And I went back to the computer. Still the internet connection won’t start.

“What else?”

“Tell her about Inner Dance.” There was a free Inner Dance preview that evening.

Okaayyyy…. so i went along to tell her about it, and she was as usual skeptical and doubtful, but she asked me for details.

So I went back to the computer to retrieve the info, and this time i restarted the comp. Ok, a bit duh huh… maybe i shld have done that right from the start. But then i wldn’t have asked the universe for guidance and i wldn’t have gotten my sponsored haircut!

Anyway, i passed her the info, and i have this feeling that she went to check it out. Inner Dance has helped me so much in my transformation. I sure hope it would help her too. Anywayz, i have done what i could… the rest is up to her.

Btw, the haircut was great. I now sport a really cool and sexy bob! This guy is really good… i’m going to have him cut my hair from now on! Already received a number of compliments on my hair today… and well, most importantly, i like it!

What else is new? I have a new way of working my healing sessions. I have been connecting with friends in these 2 days, and doing healing for them, and the universe “pushed” me to try out something new, which seems to be IT. A combination of Inner Dance, sound healing and…. channeling! The channeling is an unexpected outcome from Ailee’s sessions where while in trance, her client gets to dialogue with their “upstairs” whomever that may be. After 2 sessions with her, i seem to have gotten the hang of making that connection, and the Inner Dance and toning just puts me into trance mode, which makes the channeling happen almost automatically.

So far, the feedback’s been great, and the sessions leave me feeling highly energised. I’m almost like “begging” pple to let me try out my new healing stuff on them, cos it’s so interesting to experience myself doing new things in every session – new movements, new tunes, and it’s been really lovely channeling Guan Yin. She’s SOOOO happy! Whenever i feel her energy, i just wanna laugh all the time. And she’s so sweet too… heehee… so i can basically do this work all day long. Well, i’m gonna keep offering free sessions to pple until i develop this thing to the point when it feels like i shld charge. But then again, who knows. Maybe the energy exchange can be facilitated by the universe, so that i get provided for not directly by the recipient of the healing but in other ways.

Anyway, it’s interesting cos while the healing was offered for free, i gained both the intangible benefits of experience and connecting with the Divine, as well as tangible stuff such as free meal, free snacks, and objects like umbrella and book… little stuff, but which are really useful and practical for me. And the universe is definitely rewarding me, cos i’m receiving gifts all day long. Words of encouragement from advertisements and signs. Number signs appearing like crazy. My intuition getting louder and louder, and it’s getting easier for me to pay attention to it.

I even received an options trading chart from these AIA folks. The last time we met, I mentioned to them i was going to learn options trading. Today we met up, and the guy passed me the chart, which his friend gave to him over a year ago and which he had no use for cos he was into forex trading. The lady told me that he went to search for it, which i really appreciated, especially since we had only met once before. The two of them are such kind and helpful pple… and today, again, they gave me plentiful useful tips and advice on investments and trading. I feel like they are teachers that the universe sent me to guide me on the path of material success. I’m blessed, to have teachers for both the material and the spiritual… thanks universe!

The last thing that is new… my blog! It is time for me to move on… even this blog. I’m no longer fuzzy wuzzy…hahaha… and since i can’t change the user id, i gotta change my blog. Also, i feel like it’s time for me to blog in a different way as well. Still personal sharing, but less me-me-me, and more of insights about life and healing. I’m ready to step into my role of being a teacher, and blogging would be one of my means of teaching.

So here’s a big thank you to those of you who have been following my blog. Even if i may not know you in real life, we are connected energetically, and a huge reason why i write the things i write is also because of the energy on the other end.. which is you! (word count: 1212)

The year is coming to an end, and i expect whatever is no longer fitting, will continue to be purged out. I’m very very pleased with my year so far. It’s been interesting… chaotic at times, but it allowed me to walk my talk of “finding peace through life’s ups and downs” which is the tagline for my company Lena’s Healing Haven.

And so, it’s with great pleasure, that i invite you to visit my new blog http://soulmelodies.wordpress.com.

Thank you fuzzynale and Sweet Miracles… it’s been great while it lasted, and you will always be a part of me, even as I continue to expand into my fullest potential.

Adieus!

Another sign i saw was the motto on a school, where below the Christian cross were the words “Friendship, body and mind” which reminded me of my earlier entry where i was expressing gratitude for the friends in my life. Then i realised something. It is usually “body, mind and spirit”. Perhaps, spirit expresses itself in the form of friendship. Again, i just read a recent article by Karen Bishop (www.emergingearthangels.com) where she talks about human connections being very energising for us, and how those who used to need lots of space and privacy are starting to move out of their cocoons to reconnect with the world. Geez, now that sounds familiar!

And yet another one… “Why hide… show off”… from some skin care advertisement. Haha… (draft saved at 1:08:30 am)

Don’t roll your eyes and think i’m being delusional k. This is the very kind of thinking that prevents you from noticing all the miracles and synchronicities that are appearing in your life. PAY ATTENTION! That’s what i did today, and boy… the universe has been talking to me All Day Long. (word count: 318)

And i was well rewarded by the most fabulous session with Ailee today. It was to help me (word count: 333) gain clarity on my relationships, but in the end, the session turned out to be for her as well, cos she got me to connect to her “upstairs” and boy did he have lots to say to her.

There was mention of a love one waiting for her, which she was in denial about till today, and she finally was ready to accept his presence, though she did not know who he was yet. We were (time 1:11am!) told that he was at the holistic fair but Ailee didn’t notice him… which was apparently because she was still rejecting the idea of getting into a relationship.

Well, right after the session ended, i had to go straight to the bathroom, and while on the toilet seat, a namecard slipped out from my pants (okie, i have to admit that i haven’t washed my pants from wearing it on the 1st day of the fair). Ta-da! I remembered this person, and he does the exact same thing as Ailee – spiritual hypnosis and coaching – and with a couple of other stuff revealed during the session, he was without a doubt The One.

He’s from KL.. and guess what… it just so happens that Ailee is making a trip to KL in the next few weeks time. Wow Wee!!!!!

Ok, it’s always cool to read about love miracles like these (I totally loved the book on soulmates’ reunion by Brian Weiss)… but it’s quite another thing to be the messenger AND the bridge! Gosh… super cool, with a capital S and a C!

Another interesting synchronicity noted today was related to the number 33. I deliberately chose booth number 33 at the fair because of both the location and the fact tat it’s a master number, and 3′s have been popping up into my life with great regularity recently. This morning i typed in the email addresses left at my booth and with great surprise, there were exactly 33 of them. C’mon….

Today, on the way to a friend’s place for a chat, i looked out of the window and again, saw 33 on the HDB block. Gee….

Some of you may say this is due to Law of Attraction. But it’s a chicken and egg question. Why would i be attracting 33′s if 33′s hadn’t come into my life first?

Anyways, let’s not get too left-brained about this. For me, signs and messages of this kind makes life supremely magical, and i feel like i’m connected to the spiritual hotline 24/7. Be skeptical if you wish, but i love living my life like this!!!

Also just had a really gd talk with my mum… and thanks to Ho’oponopono and tapping, many many things got clarified. Of cos, she got teary and stuff, but relatively speaking, she was much less teary which i attribute to me tapping right in front of her! I think we are much more understanding of each other now and hey… things may not be so bad after all. Yahoo!

Well, i’m getting more and more optimistic by the day that things would turn out more than ok, and i’m definitely on my way to achieving my spiritual mission. Still don’t quite know exactly how it looks like yet… and honestly, i am just as excited as a kid waiting for Christmas to come so he can open up his pressies. Ok… not THAT excited la… but that feeling of happy anticipation is definitely there.

So looking forward to Masterminding with EFT this Friday!

This time, I was sharing the booth with dear Ailee, and as a results, lots of laughs! I have never laughed so much at the fair before, not just with Ailee, but with old friends, new friends, and pple whom i was meeting for the first time. It was great! The turnout this year was quite low, which everyone commented about, but the upside of that was that i had the chance to connect with other exhibitors, try out some of the services and even attend some of the workshops. If i put money out of the picture, i would say this is the best festival for yet. It was so fun to mingle around, and this time, i had pple coming up to me, telling me they have heard of me from friends, etc… which is slightly strange, but in a good way i guess. I am the EFT gal after all…wldn’t mind getting famous for that (but hopefully not for other stuff ).

The best part was, i got to meet so many friends and past EFT workshop participants! A few of these pple came just to support me, and i feel very very blessed for that. These 2 days, the no. of hugs I got outweighed the no. of demos i gave… so unexpectedly, i seem to be more on the receiving end during this fair.

Perhaps cos i needed it too. Something unpleasant happened for me on the 1st night of the fair. Really really unpleasant. Next morning i woke up with puffy eyes, but managed to get myself centred with meditation, chanting and Inner Dance. Nevertheless, since the first day was a little unsettled for me, i was wondering if i could be able to make it through the next day. Then i thought, “Well, let the universe take care of the day for me.”

As usual, whenever i surrender everything to the universe, things work out even better than expected. I received a beautiful sekum (can’t rem the spelling) healing from Rudy, a lady from Hongkong who runs a spiritual centre there, and it’s really powerful stuff. She actually came  up to my booth to ask if i wished to have the healing, and she didn’t even charge me for it. Very very kind lady… gratitude to Lee for connecting me with her.

After that, things just got even better. I finally started having pple comign up to me for EFT demos, and had a few books and cards sold. Sales this round is definitely not as good compared to the last rounds, partly due to the low turnout, but i received a lot of love! Which is even better…haha…

Then i had this very exciting lunch with a spiritual friend who had a very thrilling vision to share with me. The moment i heard it, i told him i’m in! It’s about bringing healing to the public, without them even knowing it’s about healing. That’s great, cos those who are open to healing are not the ones who need healing most. The reason why i’m attracted to EFT is because it’s a great technique for the layperson to learn for self-healing purpose. Perhaps that’s why i connect so well with this friend. Seems like we have a similar purpose of bridging spirituality with the secular world. Talking with him about his vision definitely revved up my energy a few notches!

I also managed to connect a few pple to one another which was just as thrilling for me. It’s fun! I love to see pple making connections cos synergy is the way to go, if we are looking at global transformation. And of cos, i love to see my friends becoming friends with one another… my spiritual family is getting bigger!

It’s interesting to see how this entry differs from my update on one of the previous fairs where i was listing down all the numbers… no. of books sold, no. of flyers given out, amount of donations collected, etc. Well, that was when i was still working at the counselling centre where data collection is oh-so-very-important (but which i hate!). This entry is all about the love and connections. Guess i’m getting more right-brained… thank God!

I also learnt a lot about grounding. I was told by Remedia and Rudy that I was not very grounded, and both taught me different grounding methods which did me a lot of good. Seems like my soul likes to fly away a lot. According to Ruth, eating chocolates and meats help to ground the body – so that explains why i can eat a lot of both at times, though i’m neither a chocoholic nor a meat-eater. Now I understand… and no more guilt/anxiety about eating these unhealthy foods from now on. I eat whatever my body needs!

Ok… so many exclamation marks today, i’m sure in a gushing mood. Guess i’m just feeling very very grateful for the friends in my life. Friendship has become a very big focus in my life this year, which is a big difference from previous years where i was preoccupied with family and was in a hermit phase as well. Especially in the last month, I am reconnecting with my friends in a huge way, and a lot of them came to my booth these 2 days, even the not very new agey ones. Seeing these dear smiling faces really perk me up, and i want to give the universe a BIG thank you for every single one of them. Thank you so much universe for blessing me with these wonderful folks with big hearts and noble souls!

Sigh… oh well… i have a feeling that that message i got “Even when things get tough, we will keep you on the right track” just might be referring to the future after all. But with the friends around me, and EFT and Inner Dance, and prayers… i know things would turn out beautifully in the end. All i need to do is to breathe, and go with the flow… and l0vvveeee…..

Lena’s Healing Haven

IN THIS NEWSLETTER (1) Healing Insights  (2) Announcements (3) Recommended Resources (4) Happy Comments    Healing Insights   Dear One, Have you heard of Ho’oponono? Ok… it’s quite a mouthful, but this is by far the most powerful teaching I have heard, and it’s literally transformed the way I look at everything. Here is the story written by Joe Vitale who was featured in The Secret, that introduced me to Ho’oponopono. “Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who cured a complete ward of criminally insane patients–without ever seeing any of them. The psychologist would study an inmate’s chart and then look within himself to see how he created that person’s illness. As he improved himself, the patient improved. “When I first heard this story, I thought it was an urban legend. How could anyone heal anyone else by healing himself? How could even the best self-improvement master cure the criminally insane? It didn’t make any sense. It wasn’t logical, so I dismissed the story. “However, I heard it again a year later. I heard that the therapist had used a Hawaiian healing process called ho ‘oponopono. I had never heard of it, yet I couldn’t let it leave my mind. If the story was at all true, I had to know more. I had always understood “total responsibility” to mean that I am responsible for what I think and do. Beyond that, it’s out of my hands. I think that most people think of total responsibility that ay. We’re responsible for what we do, not what anyone else does–but that’s wrong. “The Hawaiian therapist who healed those mentally ill people would teach me an advanced new perspective about total responsibility. His name is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. We probably spent an hour talking on our first phone call. I asked him to tell me the complete story of his work as a therapist. He explained that he worked at Hawaii State Hospital for four years. That ward where they kept the criminally insane was dangerous. Psychologists quit on a monthly basis. The staff called in sick a lot or simply quit. People would walk through that ward with their backs against the wall, afraid of being attacked by patients. It was not a pleasant place to live, work, or visit. “Dr. Len told me that he never saw patients. He agreed to have an office and to review their files. While he looked at those files, he would work on himself. As he worked on himself, patients began to heal. “‘After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were being allowed to walk freely,’ he told me. ‘Others who had to be heavily medicated were getting off their medications. And those who had no chance of ever being released were being freed.’ I was in awe.’Not only that,’ he went on, ‘but the staff began to enjoy coming to work. Absenteeism and turnover disappeared. We ended up with more staff than we needed because patients were being released, and all the staff was showing up to work. Today, that ward is closed.’ “This is where I had to ask the million dollar question: ‘What were you doing within yourself that caused those people to change?’ “‘I was simply healing the part of me that created them,’ he said. I didn’t understand. Dr. Len explained that total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life- simply because it is in your life–is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your creation. “Whew. This is tough to swallow. Being responsible for what I say or do is one thing. Being responsible for what everyone in my life says or does is quite another. Yet, the truth is this: if you take complete responsibility for your life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is your responsibility because it is in your life. This means that terrorist activity, the president, the economy or anything you experience and don’t like–is up for you to heal. They don’t exist, in a manner of speaking, except as projections from inside you. The problem isn’t with them, it’s with you, and to change them, you have to change you. “I know this is tough to grasp, let alone accept or actually live. Blame is far easier than total responsibility, but as I spoke with Dr. Len, I began to realize that healing for him and in ho ‘oponopono means loving yourself. “If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to cure anyone, even a mentally ill criminal you do it by healing you. “I asked Dr. Len how he went about healing himself. What was he doing, exactly, when he looked at those patients’ files? “‘I just kept saying, ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I love you’ over and over again,’ he explained. “That’s it? “That’s it. “Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, you improve your world. “Let me give you a quick example of how this works: one day, someone sent me an email that upset me. In the past I would have handled it by working on my emotional hot buttons or by trying to reason with the person who sent the nasty message. “This time, I decided to try Dr. Len’s method. I kept silently saying, ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I love you,’ I didn’t say it to anyone in particular. I was simply evoking the spirit of love to heal within me what was creating the outer circumstance. “Within an hour I got an e-mail from the same person. He apologized for his previous message. Keep in mind that I didn’t take any outward action to get that apology. I didn’t even write him back. Yet, by saying ‘I love you,’ I somehow healed within me what was creating him. “I later attended a ho ‘oponopono workshop run by Dr. Len. He’s now 70 years old, considered a grandfatherly shaman, and is somewhat reclusive. He praised my book, The Attractor Factor. He told me that as I improve myself, my book’s vibration will raise, and everyone will feel it when they read it. In short, as I improve, my readers will improve. “‘What about the books that are already sold and out there?’ I asked. “‘They aren’t out there,’ he explained, once again blowing my mind with his mystic wisdom. ‘They are still in you.’ In short, there is no out there. It would take a whole book to explain this advanced technique with the depth it deserves. “Suffice It to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there’s only one place to look: inside you. When you look, do it with love.”      Cool huh?   I have practised Ho’oponopono in my life many times, and often, the shifts that result are very noticeable. Here is one instance. There was a client who hung up on me when I asked him how come he needed to reschedule his session with me a second time. Needless to say, I was quite irked by his rude response. So I did EFT on my feelings of annoyance, and then I said “I’m sorry, please forgive, I love you, thank you” which are the four main phrases in the practice of Ho’oponopono, addressing the part of me who was offended by that client.   Since I was at work, I only did it for a few minutes and by then, I felt totally peaceful.   End of story? Nope!   Less than an hour later, the same client called me back. He apologised for his rude behaviour and told me that his appointment that clashed with our counselling session just got cancelled. In the end, he managed to make it for our original appointment and we had a really great session.   Apparently ho’oponopono doesn’t just work on human beings. A friend’s friend did ho’oponopono on a computer problem – and it got fixed within minutes!   If you understand that everything is energy, then you might somehow be able to grasp that it’s all about shifting our energies from a state of conflict and chaos into a state of harmony and synchronization. Ho’oponono is a profoundly simple and effective way to do it, and so is EFT. There are many other ways in this world too, but ho’oponopono and EFT are by far the easiest and fastest methods that I know of for now.   And guess what? You can do EFT and ho’oponopono combined. This is also a good alternative for those of you who never seem to know what words to say while tapping. You can simply think of the issue, and tap on the EFT points as you repeat the 4 phrases “I’m sorry, please forgive, I love you, thank you.”   Today’s tapping exercise? It’s a really simple and enjoyable one. Click on this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8wSA4uCQWo&feature=player_embedded and tap as you view the video, with the intention of healing a certain issue.   Do this daily, and I’m pretty sure that you will see transformations happening within you AND in your surroundings.   And here’s some ho’oponopono to end this article off with… I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you and THANK YOU!     Announcements    Join me for Prosperity with EFT on every Friday 7.30 – 9 pm (except last Friday) at Shan You Counselling Centre (www.shanyou.org.sg). This Friday, the topic will be “Relationships”. Do you have relationships in your life that need healing? If so… come along! Fees are by donation (recommended minimum is $10, but it’s optional… your presence is valuable to me too). Please sms me at 96715709 to confirm your attendance.    (Do scroll down to view comments by regular attendees)   Body Mind Spirit Festival (www.holisticliving.com.sg) is coming up THIS weekend, 24 and 25 October, 10 am – 8 pm. Admission is free, and there is a free shuttle bus from Dobby Gauht MRT. With the free workshops and talks, and an incredible range of holistic services and products… this is a great way to spend your weekend with family and friends. Be sure to come by my booth to say hi, and try out the cool Heartmath software hosted by Ailee!    Masterminding with EFT officially begins on next Friday, 30 October 7.30 – 10.30 pm and will continue on every last Friday of the month. Some of you asked me, “But how does it work if we all come with different goals?” It doesn’t matter, because there is the common objective of expanding your potential to achieve your life goals. The group synergy and EFT will help you reach them at an exponential rate. If you wish to move forward towards your goals much more quickly than your current pace, these sessions are for you. (yes slow and steady wins the race, but it’s also a little boring…). Many successful people account their success to masterminding groups, and by now, I know you know that using EFT is only going to reinforce the effectiveness even more. The investment for this incredible session is only SGD 33. Do sms me at 96715709 to confirm your attendance.     Recommended Resources   Have you heard of Jo Dunning? She is an amazing healer whom I recently stumbled upon on the internet. I bought her audio energy healing sessions and I definitely feel a positive shift in myself ever since I started listening to them. She has free energy healing teleseminars as well as the Abundance Project that anyone can participate in for free, to receive the healing that she offers for clearing blockages to abundance. Check out her website at www.jodunning.com.   Vanessa is a Holistic Coach whom I highly recommend for her professionalism, acute observation skills, good intuition and warm personality. If you would like to be coached, and wish to seek something is more systematic and structured, this might be for you. Check out Vanessa’s website at http://inflowandbalance.com. There are plenty of great free resources there too – enjoy!     Happy Comments   You hear me talk about Prosperity with EFT. Now let’s hear it from some of the regular attendees of Prosperity with EFT.     “I used to not be able to take stress, and when work comes along, I would panick because I don’t know how to organize my work. After coming for Prosperity with EFT, I became very positive. I became aware of my need to be responsible which cause me worry about work wherever I go. I started to take it more easy, and even when workload is high, I can’t find any stress! I can organize my work more effectively and also fall asleep more easily now. My advice to others, just tap!” - Jo, admin assistant   “My back injury pain and snoring that resulted from an accident 20 years ago have disappeared. I also used to think very negatively but nowadays I don’t. Now when I have negative emotions, I know I can tap it off and I do.” - Eric, tour manager   “I am calmer in doing my trading, which is important because high risk is involved and I need to stay cool. After coming for Prosperity with EFT, all my positive energy started to flow in and I got a 50 K return in my trading, which I haven’t seen for a few years.” – Amerlin, full-time trader   “In my diary, every Friday is EFT Day! I look forward to attending ‘Prosperity with EFT’ session to de-stress and to find healing. At all times, I leave feeling energised and inspired. The group setting creates “Borrowing Benefits” and I feel safe in the room full of love, positive energy and people who are non-judgmental.” – Josephine, language facilitator    Come come… we have new folks coming every week, and the sessions are always fun and light-hearted. I look forward seeing you!    May you give and receive more love each day!         Love and blessings, Lena Chen Holistic Therapist www.lenashealinghaven.com Finding peace through life’s ups and downs   PS: If you have enjoyed this newsletter, please forward it to your friends and loved ones. If you received this newsletter from someone, you may subscribe directly at www.lenashealinghaven.com

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It’s not a new question… but i’m considering it for the first time.

Have i done all i wanted to do?

Have i said all i wanted to say?

98% yes…

The remaining 2%… no guts.

But at least yes, 98%… have spoken my truths, have walked my talk, have touched people’s hearts, have had my own heart touched by others.

I have loved, despite the pain that comes with it.

I have learnt about who i am, and be wildly happy about it.

I have seen the beauty of life reflected in the faces and things around me.

I have connected with true friends, who cherishes my being-ness.

I have expressed my gratitude towards all those who love me (ok, can do more here).

I have taken that leap off the cliff… and i soared high.

My only regret is not picking up the phone to do something…. but aside from that, yes, i have done all i wanted to do, said all i wanted to say, and i wld not have lived a single day differently.

I’m proud of myself!

Those were the times when i was confident, comfortable in my own skin, journalled plenty (and back then it was the traditional book and pen), and spent many hours conversing with my best friend about life, love, and being who we are.

It was great! I was in love with mysef, and the whole world knew it. My JC form teacher picked me to be the class rep “cos you seem to know what you are doing”. I laughed when my other class rep taunted me once for being anti-social when i chose to sit at my own table away from the gang cos i wanted to write in my diary. I hung out with whomever i wanted, including folks from other classes, stayed on my own whenever i wanted. The world was my playground, and everyone wanted to play with me. It was like pple found me interesting and exciting cos i was so FULL of myself. I know that phrase is used in a negative way, but like the word “self-centred” (being centred in the Self), i take it to be very positive. We are meant to be full… full in spirit, full in beingness, being whole in our power and self-knowing.

So when I “lost” it in the next few years, i used to moan and groan all the time in my blog about how i miss that JC self who was so full of herself.

Well, i found her! She’s back! Thanks to Inner Dance, i’m back – better, bigger and bolder! I am talking to pple the way i used to do so in JC… very at ease, present, and interesting because i like myself so much. Correction. I LOVE myself so much!

Once again, the universe is mirroring that back to me. Miracles are happening all around me. Seriously! I have stopped wearing a watch, firstly cos it’s heavy and makes clicking noises when i tap. Secondly, cos i realise that the universe orchestrates everything for me so perfectly that i dun really need to watch the time anymore.

I first discovered this when my clients would cancel appointments in a way that fits my energy level and timing. That was when i realised, “Hey, i got a divine PA!” (word count: 441). The next relevation occured when i was rushing for this Nuskin talk. Being blur, i went to the wrong venue and was already running late. But instead of running, i asked the universe to lead me, and interestingly, i found my legs running almost on their own. I was running, but without exerting much effort. It was as if there was a force behind me, gearing me up and i was allowing myself to be pushed along. Typically, when i have to run for such a distance, i would be panting, but that evening, i arrived hardly feeling breathless at all. And guess what? I arrived right on time after all because the entrance ticket i got had the lucky draw – 11 38. (3+8 = 11). I didn’t win…. but I wasn’t expecting to, and the talk turned out to be a little boring, but i did have a very gd impression of the Nuskin president (very humble with a big heart), and of cos, i realised i could run like the wind without getting out of breath, when i get a little push from behind.

There were other indications as well, like receiving a message at the last Inner Dance retreat that what i needed to let go of was Time (the other was myself). And for some reason, i keep remembering this little story of the Dalai Lama, that he would step out of the hotel room, take a very leisurely walk to his destination, and reach there right on time, not a minute earlier or later – without a watch btw!

Conclusion? I just need to live in the Now. By being fully present in each moment, I will always be at the right place at the right time.

In fact, something funny i recently read in this book that mentions intergalactic stuff (a little like Star Trek, only this info is all real…. errr… assuming that Star Trek isn’t…who knows!), says that us human beings are probably the only species (word count: 777) in the whole universe that can measure something that doesn’t exist in the first place.

Well, i used to look at my watch like ALL the time. So to go around without a watch, it’s definitely a milestone in my personal devt. And my life has never been more wonderfully panned out. I woke up late from an afternoon nap, and realised my friend has probably been downstairs waiting for about 10 min. I didn’t really rush, and when i went down, he looked like he was enjoying the nature downstairs. So after we got the booth set up in Fort Canning Centre, which took faster than i thought, i had 2 hours to spare before Prosperity with EFT. At first i tot we might sit ard and chat, but he had something on. I didn’t bring a book out, and frankly didn’t have any idea what to do.

In the end, i got “waylaid” by an AIA person, and at first i was giving my usual conditioned “don’t touch me, i’m not interested” response. Then i dropped it, and i started listening. It turned into a 2 hour session where i got some pretty good solid advice on investments and financial planning. Well, it felt like i was getting free education, and the lady who joined us halfway really knew what she was doing in her investments, plus, she’s born in the Year of the Dog, but one cycle older than me. Dogs are really loyal and hardworking creatures… so i kinda feel like if i become her customer, i’ll be in very good hands.

Then later, after Prosperity with EFT (which turned out to be the coolest session ever…this is so my thing!), my ex-colleague E was still ard, which was great cos i have this really gd connection with her. I ended up eating the rest of her dinner which she couldn’t finish - interestingly, it was just the right portion for me, and i was in the mood for fried rice too (word count: 1110), and we had this awesome chat abt love, dreams (the bedtime kind), and spiritual plans.

One thing she shared with me was something i found most profound. She had a session with Ailee recently and one of the messages she received from Kwan Yin was this: “The most compassionate thing you could do for those you love is to allow them to know you.”

Even now, these words make me pause (draft saved at 12:12:00). I have never ever heard those words before anywhere else, so this is completely original, and it’s so profound. I’m not even sure if i fully get it yet… think i need to sleep on this for the night and let my subconscious work on it a little. I think once i consciously understand this, i’ll be semi-enlightened!

Well, the universe is communicating me almost 24/7 these days. This afternoon, i saw on the bus in front of the bus i was on, this advertisement ad with these words popping out at me “Even when things seem tough, we will keep you on the right track.” That’s really reassuring, though i sure hope that message was talking about what i have already recently been through, rather than what’s coming up! (word count: 1318)

Aside from the reassurances and advice i get from advertisements all around me, there is the music as well, from the radio, shops, whatever. I’m really into dancing and singing these days, so i am also paying more attention to the music there is ard me. Sometimes they are songs i want to dance to. Sometimes they are songs describing my life and how i’m feeling. Sometimes they are songs about what the universe wants me to know. It’s a little like the movie Dancer in the Dark, starring Bjork, about a factory girl living a tedious and mundane life, and as she slowly turns blind, ironically, her life transforms into a colourful musical filled with songs and music.

And talking about dancing. I’m just crazy about dancing these days. 2 days ago i somehow decided to go to the gym which i haven’t been to for months. Again, it was timely cos when i arrived, a dance class has just started, and boy – not only is the dance instructor super good-looking, he’s really humourous, and the little dance choreographies he come up with are so fun, plus the choice of music was great. So I had a blast of a time in that class… and can’t wait to attend it again next Wed!

Tonight i was talking to E about dancing as well. Turns out she’s into attending dance classes, so we were chatting a little about how it’s a nice way of getting intimate with the opposite sex in a very safe way. I was asking her about where she attends her dance lessons, but she couldn’t recall. I’m like, ok…will continue to keep a lo0kout for dance classes.

Later on the way home, i received an sms with  the details about this dinner that my friends invited me to go tomorrow night. I thought it was more of a formal function, perhaps some charity event. Imagine my thrill and delight when I saw the event title “Festiva La Danze” and found that it’s organised by A&J Creative Danceworld (and this name sounds really familar… could i have picked up their flyer before?). Not only that, the table number is 29.

Well… as i said, miracles seem to be happening in my life 24/7, and i’m so loving it. My life is becoming like Dancer in the Dark – except that i’m not surrounded by dangerous machines, and i’m all LIGHT!

Wonder what miracles are going to happen to me during Body Mind Spirit Festival this weekend…. Whatever it is, i’m ready! (word count: 1740)

PS: Thanks universe for this AWESOME life!

First was Made of Honour, starring Patrick Dempsey, super super cute guy with bedroom eyes, whose character realises he has been in love with his best friend and tries to win her heart while being her maid of honour.

Second, The Jane Austen Book Club – many love stories within one movie, all interwined in discussions about love where they were talking abt the book, but were really talking about themselves. Very intelligent movie, and surprisingly romantic and meaningful.

Third, Only You, old movie starring Robert Downing Jr, another cutie, whose character masqueraded as the soulmate that has been predicted a couple of times for this girl, and in the end, the audience finds out that the predictions were arranged as a joke, while the girl finds out that even though his name is not the name of the predicted soulmate, she has fallen in love with him anyway.

Fourth, Nottinghill, starring Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant. I didn’t think much of this movie first time round. This time, I feel it a lot more, especially that famous line, “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.”

I can’t rem which of these movies was it, that mentioned this. That when we follow our destiny, we are inevitably led to our soulmates. Oh ya, it’s Only You, when the girl was teaching her class about destiny and talked about how man angered the gods, and got their souls split into two as a punishment, hence leading to the idea of half-souls walking around looking for their other halves, a.k.a. soulmates.

I no longer believe in that concept, at least for now. The more modern concept (or is it just feminist?) is that we are meant to be complete in and within ourselves. The soulmate just makes your life even more than it is. More what? Not sure. Just more.

After that last movie, i somehow stumbled upon a friend’s blog, whose most recent entry included a mention of some recent Woody Allen movie which i would have probably caught if i was more into movies. He also mentioned that when we would just be who we are, and be true to ourselves, true love would show up in the most unexpected way.

That has indeed happened for me.

Unfortunately, it has not been a happy ending – at least not yet. If my life is a movie, it would be like the part in Nottinghill where Hugh Grant’s character walks down the street, and throughout that walk, the seasons change from autumn to winter to spring. It’s that in between period, where something just happened, and you have no idea what’s coming up next. Of cos, the audience knows it would be a happy ending. But when you’re the one in the movie, who knows?

I guess now that i find myself playing the heroine in my very own romance movie, i find some weird solace in watching romance movies which i used to find cliche but now, very real. It’s comforting to know that people do go through certain moments and have certain feelings, and even if it’s Hollywood, it does help me make sense of my own reality too.

Well, reel life is taken from real life after all.

If any of you wants to catch a romance movie (and there are lots coming up… ) and haven’t found a movie buddy, you may call me along.

I’m so hooked on Faith Rivera, and i just love the free sampling of music on her website (www.faithrivera.com). Aliah told me (one of my angels, apparently, whom I made contact with at Ailee’s “investigative/unconventional” hypno session), half an hour of Inner Dance every day if possible. And the free sampling of music on Faith’s website comes up to just about half an hour, which i sometimes finish off with a youtube search on her “Child of the universe” cos that one makes me feel all soft and flowy inside.

Why am i dancing so much? U may wonder. My mum thinks i’m nutty (as usual) and worried that i’m involved in something bad. Well, that’s the problem when your mum reads your blog. Everything becomes transparent, and sometimes, it’s good , sometimes it invites judgment and criticism.

Then again, i’m on the path of accepting myself regardless of what other pple think of me. So in a way, having my mum read my blog is a good opportuity for me to train my ability to stay true to myself – even if she thinks i’m going off the deep end.

We had another “talk” today where she got all teary, as she asked me how come i am being stubborn and self-centred, and thinking that i’m so perfect.

Geez… it actually took me much time and money and work to get me to this state of thinking that i’m perfect.

And actually i don’t. Well, but i’m on my way there.

So i was telling her, this is exactly what i write about in my book and what i teach to others, and this is the talk i want to walk. We can’t love others till we love ourselves. We can’t help others till we have forgiven ourselves and made peace within ourselves. We can’t make the world a better place, until we see ourselves as beings worthy of a safe and loving world.

Teachings based on fear, shame and guilt are all so passe…. super super outdated, and it never worked right from the start. Why would i want to criticise myself to bits if that’s only going to make me feel so bad that i start going into depression or venting it out on others? Been there, done that. Didn’t work too well for me, nor the pple ard me.

But my mum, being my mum, having been brought up in a certain way, and experienced life in a certain way, of cos, she cldn’t see it the way i see it. So what else cld i do?

Do EFT lo… and Ho’oponono at the same time.

It’s hard to radiate love and peace when your mum is crying in front of you, feeling utter despair at the kind of person her daughter has turned into (who thinks she is perfect!). But i did try, and after 5 min or so, she went back to the room, and a while later, heard her shouting at my dad. But within the next hour, everything went back to normal again.

But that’s life. I no longer expect pple to understand how i think, much less accept how i think. Hell no… if i dun understand how others think, why shld i expect it from others. Human beings are so complicated… i have a hard enough time understanding my own thoughts sometimes. These days, i just do what Ailee teaches. Head drop to heart. No thoughts. Just breathe. Just love. Just be!

It does make life a lot easier not to think so much. Imagine, we spend so much of our lives investing in developing our minds, when the odds of the very same mind we invested in completely turning our life into chaos with its irrational twisted thoughts are so high (just that last sentence alone may give you an inkling of how complicated my mind can get!).

But hey, i’m laughing even as i write this entry. I guess that’s improvement for me. Laughing at my own insanity. How ridiculously silly the mind can get, and how obsessive we can be in indulging in our thoughts.

I guess i’m in love. It’s amazing to be in love. When i say this, i literally mean it. I feel like i’m engulfed in this cloud of love. And the most amazing thing is, i didn’t demand for it to be here. I didn’t even expect it to be here.

When i laughed, it just appeared. Soft fluffy love kissing my arms, my cheeks, my heart. I almost feel like Strawberry Cupcake lying on a pink marshmallow cloud.

The mind demands to know, “What do you mean you are in love? Helloooo… u are sitting alone in front of the computer… your mum just cried in front of you this morning, your dream mate is in fantasyland…what right do you have to be in love?”

Like an indulgent mum, i’m absentmindedly patting it on the shoulder… “yes yes… go ahead, do what you need to do…”

And i’m still enjoying this warm glow on my skin, marvelling the wondrous fact that i can be in love without having to do anything, without having to have anyone with me. I can be loved, and BE love. Just like that.

Life is beautiful.