Happy Feet

March 22, 2007 at 11:10 pm | Posted in All about little boy, Scrapbooking, The journey within | 4 Comments

Looks like i have been getting a few new visitors ever since i started this scrapbooking. Thanks for the comments and encouragement! One of the best things abt scrapbooking is sharing it and receiving feedback… so thanks very much guys.

I’m not sure how to reply to comments individually using wordpress so i’m just gonna reply right here.

To KH: I use Adobe Photoshop Elements but Adobe Photoshop wld do as well and there are others too. There are tons of websites that have tutorials and articles on scrapbooking techniques using different softwares. The one that i visit is www.digitalscrapbookplace.com. I like it cos the community is really enthusiastic and helpful, there are lots of freebies offered by the designers (to do digital scrapbooking you need to collect the page kits and elements to decorate your layout with… there are free ones offered on the net, though the really nice ones are those for sale, obviously!), forums for answering questions, tutorials on improving your techniques… and my fave, the gallery where you can post your layouts to get feedback and view others’ work for inspiration. Just google digital scrapbooking and surf ard to see what you find… which wld be LOTS!

Thankew very much mom2ashley! It’s really thanks to your layouts that inspired me to start this hobby. I upload the web version (get only 50 MB here which is not much rite?)and tot it wld be ok cos if you click on the pic, a new window will pop up to show a larger version. But if you guys want to see an even larger version, like the very first one i uploaded, let me know and i’ll gladly oblige…hehe….

To Theresa, you make your own elements? That’s cool… though i prefer to just use the free ones out there cos it wld prob me take ages to make anything like that from scratch, and i can spend time on just the rearrangement and minor modifications. Will be happy to check your blog out… thanks for sharing. 🙂

Well, i managed to keep away from scrapbooking tonight and write a proper entry. Actually i have a big pile of laundry to fold… but guess those can wait till tomorrow. 😛 There are sooo many things to update, which is why this one entry is slotted into 3 categories. First of all, work. Cos of the huge turnover at SY (again!), i’m being asked to increase my part time hours to help out with the caseload and other things. Well, the thing is, i have already been thinking of doing more hours. I’m just not cut out to be a SAHM. The hours drag on so endlessly, and sometimes i really don’t know what to do with little boy. It’s not that i’m bored to the extent of counting the minutes, but it does feel a bit tiresome from time to time, cos all i can do is watch after little boy, play with him, do some housework, prepare his meals, feed him, feed myself, and steal some time here and there to use the computer or read a book.

Of cos there are the little moments of laughter in the day. When little boy comes into the kitchen, laughing merrily as he crawls his way in to look for me. When i hang the laundry on the clothes pole and he comes over and hug my legs (he is pretty clingy these days… another phase of separation anxiety i suppose), and then we laugh when i try to walk with him holding onto my legs. The outings or little walks downstairs where i let him explore the outside world from the bench, and he wld totter along the bench looking curious and very happy to be surrounded by nature instead of walls.

There are also the sweet moments as well. When we are on the bed, with me lazily lying on my back as usual. He would roll right on top of me, lengthwise, from my chest to my stomach to my legs. He just LOVES playing on me. Yes, not with me, but on me. Like i’m his personal playground, that he can roll over, pounce on, step on to get to the other side (though sometimes i think he really just want to step on me), slap to make mighty loud piak piak sounds, and most of all, use my tummy as a nice soft pillow to rest his head on, where he will then start singing and talking to himself with perfect contentment. Gotta admit, the last thing he does with me is also one of my fave moments. I love having him sleep on top of me, and being so comfortable that he doesn’t move a single inch. I love hugging his warm cuddly body and hearing him sing. Sure hope that he will continue to do this for many years ahead.

Alas, such moments, so precious, and yet make up such a small part of the day. For the rest of the day, as much as i try to connect with him and have fun, i still can’t help but feel bored. I guess i enjoy watching others play with little boy more than playing with him myself. Not sure if i have been influenced by some of the first few books i read, which encourage confidence and autonomy in the child by not being overly involved or directive in their play, but now i tend to be more of an observer when little boy is at play. However i notice that my in laws play with him in the more conventional way, with lots of comments and praise and applause… and little boy seems to have more fun that way. Hmmm… giving of praise seems to be one of those things where experts disagree abt. Do it to encourage the child to do more of it. Don’t do it so that the child learns to self-motivate.

Aiya…. sometimes reading too many books can be confusing. But i still read them anyway, cos most of the time, i do get very good and wise ideas from them. My current read is Playful Parenting which is this inspirng book abt using play to connect with your children and also understand them better. Full of poignant and sweet examples inside. I’m loving the reading, and hopefully it will inspire me to play more with little boy.

Talking abt play, yesterday evening i was trying to get little boy to sleep. It was one of those tiring nights when little boy just refused to sleep, despite being so tired that he kept hitting his head and yawning. While he was nursing, i absent-mindedly rubbed my feet together, which produced a shh-shh sound (ok, i’m not one of those pple who mosturise their feet). I was amazed that immediately, little boy sat up and looked ard to see where the sound came from. If the room hadn’t been dark, perhaps i wld have even seen little boy cock his ears like a dog! Just for fun, i rubbed my feet together again, and when little boy saw that was producing the sound, he grinned and bounced over to take a closer look. I wiggled my right foot a little. He laughed.

Wiggled it again. Laughed again. Wiggled a few more times. Still amused.

Then i wiggled my left foot. Laugh.

Wiggled both feet. Laugh. Again. Laugh.

Then i wiggled my foot and brought it right up to his face. More giggles.

Hehe… sometimes little boy is so easily entertained!

Honestly, i think i’m quite playful as a parent and i do feel that i play a lot with him already, but i always feel that it’s not enough. It also depends on my moods. I can feel playful and want to do interesting things with him all day. I can also feel sian and just can’t wait for him to go to sleep so i can do my own things again. The worst moments are when i don’t feel like playing with little boy, and yet i feel guilty if i do my own things cos little boy expects my company and seems bored to be by himself. Oh well… perhaps all SAHMs experiences such moments from time to time, and i take my hat off to them for their enduring patience.

Maybe it’s also a matter of getting used to it. After all, working life has its pain-in-the-neck moments too, just that we come to accept it as part and parcel of working life, so we just grit our teeth, shrug our shoulders, and get on with it. I guess SAMH life is like that too.

In any case, i now look forward to my working days like i used to look forward to weekends during school/work life, cos at least i get a respite from taking care of little boy. And trust me, i feel horrible that i feel this way, but it’s just how it is. Maybe i’m just a very restless person who finds it hard to be doing the same old things or to just face one person (even though it’s a very cute little person!) for the whole day. Sometimes it’s a relief when my mum comes over to help, cos i can retire to the kitchen with the excuse of having to make his foods and just pop out from time to time to watch them play or take care of little boy. It’s true what they say, that it takes a village to raise a child. At least when my parents are here, the 3 of us take turns to take care or play with little boy, so we can get a break every now and then. I don’t know how can one person take care of a child or more than one child at that just by herself everyday. Must take nerves of steel, indomitable will, and saintly patience!

I’m also wondering if it’s an age thing. Is it because i’m a young mother? As a not-too-close friend mentioned (hinted?), haven’t “played” enough. Well, it’s not like i was into painting the town red before i became a mum. My idea of recreation was to attend dharma talks and meditation retreats! Which i do miss btw… and prob need all the more, especially now when my practice is being put to the test almost everyday. But perhaps being young, i’m still more self-centred as compared to older women who have probably experienced enough in life to satisfy their own desires and needs and are more ready to give to another person. Is this generally the case?

Well, even if it is so, i don’t fault myself too much. So i chose to (divine choice) attend the “school of mothering” early, and there are times when i feel like “pontang-ing” (skip school), but there are definitely times when i do my research and homework well, and excel in the continuous assessments. Thank gdness there are a lot of “seniors” who are very happy to come over to help out. Hehe… i’m a lucky student. 🙂

So it’s very likely that i will be spending a bit more time at the office, both for myself and for SY. It won’t be back to the old part-time schedule, just somewhere in between that and now, just enough for me to get enough “thrill” in life, and at the same time, have both quantity and quality time with little boy for the precious bonding that we both need.

Oh well… seems like i’m always striving for perfectionism in life. To be a perfect mother, to have the perfect schedule, to have ALL my needs met in the most perfect way. No wonder i’m forever not happy huh? Ah well… i suppose this is but yet another lesson in life that i gotta learn.

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4 Comments »

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  1. oh you can reply comments by leaving a comment in your own posts 🙂
    keep up the good work – and very good ..you didnt scrap today!

  2. Thank you so much for sharing, I would like to start trying soon! Will keep you posted when I am done with my 1st. Take care!

  3. To KH: Cool! Look forward to seeing yr 1st one then. 🙂

    Mom2ashley: hope it’s not “copyrighted” but *slap head*… haha… thanks for the tip!

  4. Hi there, I created my 1st scrapbook page at Figgy’s World. Do give me some comments, it a simple design that I followed 1 of the tutorials in the digital scrapbook place.

    Will try out more advanced techniques once I gather more freebies. Thanks a lot!


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