10 reasons why I love you

November 25, 2007 at 12:47 am | Posted in Letters to my little boy, The Miracles | 2 Comments

Dear little boy,

Why do i love you so much, you may ask me one day, and not be satisfied with the because-you’re-my-little-boy explanation. So taking 10 as just an arbitrary number (cos if i were to list down all the possible reasons, i might be up the whole night), here’s why.

1) You give the sweetest hugs. Hugs from behind, wrapping both arms around my waist. Hugs from the side, when Mummy is sitting on the floor, and you put your head on my shoulder. Hugs around my legs, when Mummy is standing, busy with chores, and you just want to come and show me some affection (while this sometimes make it inconvenient for Mummy when she has to move around, i still find it very very endearing).  Hugs while lying atop of me, which is how you nurse sometimes. Surrogate hugs from your teddy bears and the rest of the gang where you seem to find great satisfaction in seeing me hug your toys and having them hug me back.

2) You also give the sweetest kisses. Sometimes i ask for a kiss when you are happily engrossed in the tv, but you obliged anyway, though sometimes you absent-mindedly “kiss” me by kissing the air while your cheek touches mine. Angmoh style of kissing friends! Most of the time you smooch me on the cheek with the proper smooching noises. Tonight, Papa had to go out and came in before we started our bedtime nursing to kiss Mummy on the lips, which you watched with a happy grin. Upon request, you also kissed Papa and then Mummy on the lips too. What a lovely way to end the day! Later during bedtime nursing, you suddenly got up, leaned over me and kissed me on the lips, nose and cheeks in an almost amorous manner (i’ll have to explain this when you’re quite a lot older :P), which was unexpected but was very nice indeed. Later in the night, when you woke up, you kissed me on the cheek – 2 wet smooches – when you thought i was sleeping (Mummy was pretending to sleep, hoping you would go back to sleep… nah, you didn’t!) – which was really sweet and reminded me of Sleeping Beauty! Were you hoping to wake me up with your sweet kisses my dear? 🙂 Whatever it is, you’re certainly my little Prince Charming!

3) You have the most devilish sense of fun and mischief. You don’t get into much trouble but you do like to purposely do things that are forbidden, like draw on your little table and chair, or play your toys when it’s time for bed, and then look up at me with the most wide-eyed, innocent look so you could see how i might react. Or you might offer me a biscuit from your snack bowl and at the very last minute, put it in your mouth. :/ Nobody taught you these things, so i wonder did you get it in your DNA from Papa? 😛 The funniest thing you do these days is when Papa changes his clothes, you wait and then sneak up on him once he is in his underwear, and you start poking his “birdie”. Mummy always enjoy the hilarious scene of you cornering Papa against the wall, with Papa crying in mock terror (No no! NOOOOO!), and you squealing in delight, always pausing a few seconds for that wonderful suspense factor, before you gleefully dig your finger into Papa’s private member. In fact, Mummy enjoys this so much (she has her own sadistic humour too), she sometimes announces it whenever she sees Papa changing, and then you will come running along… heehee… (anecdote told with permission from Mr Gua Gua… given rather reluctantly, but who then also insists that i use the term birdie to keep the original humour :P)

4) You got a great sense of humour. You have no problem with laughing with others and laughing at yourself. Most of all, you know how to make pple laugh. You know how to pause for a few seconds before delivering the climatic part of the joke, and your comic timing is always perfect, such as the birdie-poking act as mentioned above.

5) You have this healing touch which Mummy experienced esp during the time when she was sick with diarrhea. Hugging your warm body provided much comfort and relief. On the few occasions when Mummy got emotionally overwhelmed and just sat on the floor feeling miserable, you would come along and place your hand on my shoulder, eyes filled with great concern and understanding, as if to say, it’s ok, i’m here for you. You will be a wonderful helper and healer one day my dear… your presence and touch is a balm to the soul.

6) You know how to assert your rights. Well, there are the times when you’re quite unreasonable (of cos, you prob felt we the adults are being quite unreasonable too) and shout louder than necessary in the most awful way. But most of the time, you simply look at the other person very earnestly, wave your hand and said boh/no in a firm way, repeating the gesture and word a few more times if the other party didn’t seem to get it. I like the way you are neither meek nor aggressive, instead, just being able to assert your rights in a dignified manner, communicating your message clearly without the need to be defensive. Hopefully those of us around you will always listen to your opinions in a respectful way, though not necessarily accept it all the time, so that you will continue to state your boundaries clearly and firmly, which so many adults have difficulty with (including Mummy too!). Saying no is an impt skill to have in life, so you can choose to focus on your priorities, so keep saying no – appropriately and nicely of cos! (I know fully well the possibility of me having regrets abt this when being the recipient of your no’s… but no, deep down i still mean it!)

7) You love taking risks. Thank goodness Mummy has the confidence and laidback attitude to tolerate the sights of you venturing all kinds of daredevil acts that would prob give your Mak Mak and Ye Ye a heart attack. I watch with pride as you walk up the steep slope at the Vivocity playground, the youngest of the lot, with absolute steadiness and confidence, and go down the slide in all kinds of positions. Strangers would actually be afraid for you, and once, you were crying cos there was an uncle holding you back from the slide, worried that you did not know how to use it. Little did he know that you were no amateur when it comes to the slide! At home, you would rather climb up the chairs and sofas the challenging way – from the armrest rather than from the front. You have no fear, yet, you know when you need help and would wait patiently at staircase edges for me to come and lend you a hand. Even so, your physical balance and strength grows day by day, and you are asking for Mummy’s help less and less often. One of these days, you will fly! And Mummy will be watching you from a distance, glowing with pride, knowing that you have total confidence in your abilities, unbounded by fears, and living life to the fullest.

8.) You have the most endearing way of calling me Mummy. Yes, at age 20 months, you are calling me Mummy now, instead of the beta version of Mee-Mee. I LOVE hearing you call me Mummy, and can never grow tired of hearing it from you in different tones and contexts. At times, with insistence, when you need me to do something for me. At times, with simple affection, calling me for no reason except just to say my name. I wouldn’t wanna be called Mummy by anyone else in the world but you!

9) You give the most interesting “speeches”. It’s hilarious to hear you give talks in your own language, complete with big gestures and rolling eyes. You definitely sound like you have important points to make. Once, Papa insisted that you sounded like you were speaking in Tibetan, so who knows, perhaps you are giving Dharma talks, which we unfortunately are not able to understand due to our language barrier. I was chatting with Papa about this today (yes, this entry took me 2 days to write cos you were up the first night, having a little party of your own into the wee hours of the morning!) and he said how unfair it must be for you to come onto this earth to learn the language of mankind when the one you already know is prob much more advanced (we think so!). Indeed, being a human comes with so many limitations, as compared to being in spirit form. Thank you for choosing to come anyway!

10) You remind me of my own spirituality. I first knew abt your “incoming visit”, from a vision received during a guided meditation session. We were supposed to be meeting our guide, and to my surprise, i saw a little boy. My mental images were always fuzzy, so i didn’t get to see his features. But i think he has big eyes? And the name Ian came to my mind. Shortly after that, i found out about you! Needless to say, i put one and one together and concluded that you were no ordinary being, and while unplanned, THIS was the moment you chose to come. You wanted to be reborn and you wanted to be reborn NOW! I had other signs indicating to me that you were a very special being – a dream of you lying on an elephant’s back, a message from someone who didn’t even know that i was pregnant, and who said i was carrying a prince (there was a invisible crown atop my head!), and others too. Of cos, your birthdate and time, both adding up to numbers 11, 3 times, confirmed for me that you are here for a special mission, and i’m ever so grateful and thrilled that you have chosen me as your Mummy! All this motivates me even more to work on my own spiritual development, to make sure that i don’t get in your way! In fact, your entrance into our lives have created so many challenges for me… life without you was certainly easier. But at the same time, these are the challenges that forced me to grow up, from being a girl to becoming a woman. And i’m still struggling with some of these challenges… yet i have not a single regret, cos i know these challenges present me with much needed opportunities to learn impt lessons, plus, the joy you give me and everyone around you more than makes up for everything! Your coming, your presence, the inspirations i receive, the challenges i encounter, all adds to my spiritual growth… and i thank you and the universe for it all.

These are only some of the reasons why i love you. The list is inexhaustive, but perhaps these are the top ten, for this moment in time. Papa prob has his own reasons, as do Mak Mak, Ye Ye, Po Po, Gong Gong and other aunties. But whatever the reasons are, my dear, just know that you are so very well loved by everyone, just for being the sweet, mischievous, lovable, devilish, special being that you are and more.

Just one more time, we love you so very much!

Kisses and hugs,

Mummy

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2 Comments »

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  1. Thanks alot for posting this blog.. i know this way too late that i read it.. but i do appreciate the sense of motherhood and the way things have been puttogether! Just could have the vision from the text you had in here:) nice..& expressive.. should show it to your son when he is in teens or a grown up one!

  2. Thanks Krish… 🙂


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