Updates on little boy

January 17, 2008 at 2:01 am | Posted in All about little boy | 4 Comments

Haven’t been writing abt little boy for some time, so this entry is for my own recordkeeping and also for all little boy lovers out there.

Little boy is greatly affectionate with me these days, often giving me hugs and kisses out of his own accord. He is also getting quite clingy to me. Sometimes, i’m the only person whom he wants, be it in the area of fulfilling his wants, needs, or even in the area of discipline. If i’m the one enforcing discipline on him, he puts up much less fuss than if Mr Gua Gua were the one. I told Mr Gua Gua he’s just not firm enough, and little boy doesn’t respect him as a result. This evening, Mr Gua Gua tried out his firm tone on little boy. Little boy cried for less than half a min, and magically resumed his cheerful self again. After that, he was much nicer to Mr Gua Gua! Well, i hate to say it but “i told you so!”. Children do need limits, and while we can be their friends at times, we need to be their parents too. Nevertheless, while Mr Gua Gua and i, like all first-time parents, are still striving to fine-tune the balance between permissiveness (too nice) and authoritarianism (too mean), i think we will get there soon enough!

Little boy is also displaying more classic qualities of the terrible twos phase, such as being terribly possessive of all things, including me. We just got to know of another young mummy and little girl who is 7 months little boy’s junior (yeh, already a new year manifestation manifestED!) who stays only 1 floor below, and i have been dropping by their place in my usual thick-skinned way to say hello during our morning walks for the past couple days. Little boy would not even allow the little girl to hold her gate railings – he would peel her fingers off one by one. :/

Thank goodness the mummy is not one of those over-protective ones. In fact i think her philosophy is rather similar to mine – more hands off, and also not into bringing her kid to the doc (her girl was having a fever today but she felt her girl wld prob be able to fight it herself, and hence will monitor first). I was only slightly embarassed, knowing this is expected of a 2 year old, and scolding him would be pointless, so i cld only try to get him to hold a different part of the gate railing instead. On the bright side, he IS distractable. He didn’t want to return the little girl’s calculator, but after i explained to him that we are going down for a walk, he immediately returned the calculator to her. Then she passed it back to him, and in the end, they did a little give-and-take game for a while. Hopefully they will soon become good playmates, and the mummy and i will become gd friends too. 🙂

I am making the effort to make our morning walks a routine- it’s great quality time with little boy as i’m often multi tasking at home, whereas outside, my attention is solely on him. Also, i want him to interact more with nature, instead of spending so much time watching TV. These days, i am reducing his TV time to just Blues Clues in the morning and Johnny and the Sprites during lunch time, which is at least better than the 2 hours of constant tv watching we used to allow him in the mornings. Thanks to You’re Your Child’s First Teacher, i’m now a firm believer of supporting children’s physical development BEFORE intellectual development, as the former wld aid the latter, and this is another reason for the walks.

Today’s morning walk was a particularly enjoyable one. All those little things… watching little boy point at dried leaves, stepping into puddles on purpose, choosing to walk on grass instead of proper paths, walking up and down grass mounds and over tree roots (like a real adventurer!), climbing up and down stairs without my aid, pointing to birds in trees, skipping and running along in his funny way with one hand wagging along… i feel so grateful to be able to witness these little moments and take pleasure in little boy experiencing the world with all 5 senses, having both body and soul nourished by the wonderful outdoors.

We saw our cat friend today, a particularly friendly brown cat who is gentle and rather affectionate, and likes to rub himself against us. Little boy doesn’t exactly like this rubbing business, though i explain to him that the cat wants to sayang him. However he does like to pet the cat, and loves to touch the tail and for me to tell him that’s the tail. Today, after a few moments of petting, the cat came towards me and rubbed himself against my leg. It’s been some time since my younger days that i showed affection for neighbourhood cats, and i took pleasure in rubbing its head. As i did so, i told little boy that the cat is sayang-ing Mummy. Wah, almost immediately, he came towards me, arms outreached, and once in my arms, asked me to carry him up. I think he said bye to the cat too, and he asked me to walk in another direction, losing all interest in the cat. Gee… seems like little boy was jealous of our kitty friend showing affections for Mummy? 😛 He has shown similar reactions before even for soft toys. I think once i was hugging one of his bears, and he came over and took it from me. But at least he hugged the bear too, instead of boinking it on its head or something. 😛 And there are times when he would actually ask me to hug and kiss his bear bears. A few times, he even got his bear bears to nurse at my nipple too! First time that happened, i was so darn tickled!

The power of children’s imitation skills is just incredible, and we are often amazed at how quick little boy is in copying us, just one time after watching, in even the tiniest movements. This morning, we were brushing our teeth together (yup, trying to get little boy to brush his teeth now), with him watching me intently on how i brush mine and him trying to copy me. I was holding my hair against my neck so the toothpaste foam wldn’t get onto it. I laughed when i saw little boy holding his neck too! So i immediately stopped it, lest little boy shld think this is part of the brushing teeth procedure! Then later, i brushed my hair behind my ear, and i was already wondering if little boy wld copy that as well. True enough, he also touched his hair. Hahaha…

Other things that he wld copy me: putting deodorant, chopping veggies (believe it or not, i actually get him to help me chop tofu and veg for his lunch these days, standing on a chair, using an actual chopping knife -all under supervision of cos, but he is doing it extemely well!), sweep the floor, wash hands with soap, and miscellaneous meaningless gestures that i do just to be silly, like dance or kick 1 leg up and things like that! It’s so fun to be with him these days!

Little boy’s physical prowess is also quite amazing. Nowadays he makes full use of the chairs in the house, pushing them everywhere so he could climb on them to have access to whatever he wants. We don’t stop him – at least i don’t, cos i know he’s careful enough not fall off, and most of the times, the things he want to touch are ok for him to touch. He does like to play with the tap a lot, so thank goodness for the Diamond water tap, which is just a small trickle these days as the filter has not been cleaned for sometime. He knows he is not allowed to touch the main tap at the sink, so at least he can still satisfy himself with the Diamond water tap, and i don’t get heartache abt too much water wastage.

This evening, i was simply amazed to see him push a chair to the sink with an empty bottle in his hand, climb up the chair with the bottle, fill up the bottle with the diamond water. The difficult step is in getting down WITH the 3/4 filled bottle, so i was impressed to see him carefully put the bottle on the chair, and climb down the chair using the remaining space left. And this is one of those Ikea round stools which is not very big. He decided it wasn’t enough to do this just once, so after drinking some water from the bottle (water gotten through one’s own efforts surely taste a lot sweeter), he repeated the feat, and was able to climb up the chair with the half-filled bottle on the chair. After that, he just began to play with water so i stopped him. But i cld see that he’s very proud of this new skill he has, that of filling up his own water bottle! Wait till i tell my mum abt this, she will have yet another thing to boast to others abt her grandson who can do all kinds of adult things.

Now onto cute stuff that he currently does. When little boy and i or anyone else are eating some food together, he would like us to touch our foods together, like champagne toasting, 3 times, while saying this funny little mantra “pee peh, pee peh, peeeee peh!”. Another is when he is pretending to talk on the phone, he would sound as if he is really talking, albeit in his own language, with gesticulations included. Sometimes he even sound as if he’s complaining, or scolding the other party! Oops… not sure who he is imitating here. 😛

The cutest thing he has done, only once so far, is making his bear bear wave goodnight to Mr Gua Gua. Can you imagine him holding his bear bear tightly with one hand, with the bear bear facing Mr Gua Gua, and the other hand making the bear bear’s hand wave at him? This one totally goes beyond ultimate cuteness… Mr Gua Gua and i were alternating between hilarious laughter and going, aiyoooooo, so cuttteeeee!

Sigh… while the age of 2 can bring more challenges (which i think we are doing a gd job of handling), i can’t deny that it also brings so much more fun too! I am so loving this stage of motherhood now…it’s just wonderful to see little boy growing into such an adorable personality who can be such a firecracker at times – very loud, and also very entertaining! But most of all, he brings light to our lives. He’s my greatest blessing!

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Zi Wei Dou Shu (Purple Emperor Astrological Geomancy)

January 17, 2008 at 12:53 am | Posted in Rantings and ravings, The journey within | 13 Comments

Mr Gua Gua pulled me along to this session for the both of us, which i was “forced” to pay a small portion of but in the end had no regrets abt. We stepped into this clean-feeling place with a beautiful altar that has its own room, partitioned away from the rest of the room (now we are inspired to do that for our living room when we get our Pinnacle). Alas, Mr Gua Gua gave the wedding anniversary to the pple for my birthdate (same day, diff month… argh!) so we had to wait for a while while they redid my calculations. In the meantime, we were given a pre-talk about zi wei dou shu, which was very enlightening. She explained about the interwining of our personal destinies with the energy of the universe (positioning of planets, etc), and there are 2 extreme beliefs. One is that we are passive followers of our destiny, and there’s nothing we can do to change what we are born with. The other is that we can totally change our destinies, irregardless of what we are born with; here, she used the chinese idiom ren2 bu4 shen4 tian1, which means man cannot win heaven.

(Btw, the whole session was conducted in Mandarin and i’m sure i misinterpreted at least 20% of what they were saying, so if i made any mistakes, I would have to count on Mr Gua Gua to leave comments to correct them.)

Master Luo explained it further for us, that our lives are determined by shu3 which i think refers to the astrological influences of our birthdate, as well as yun3, which he explained it to be the way you live your life. Hence, no one would lead the same kind of life, even with the same birth date and time, because of the spirit with which one lives his/her life. One could have a bad astrological reading, and yet be living a very good life, and vice versa.

Well, what i really liked abt Master Luo’s analysis of our readings was that he was always very positive and could give both pros and cons of having certain elements in our readings. He was also able to explain to us using wonderfully apt analogies, which made the information come alive.

The highlights of my readings which i wld like to share here are as follows:

  • I have this ability to bring happiness to people, and my astrological chart is such that bringing happiness to people would actually help my life become more smooth-sailing – which in other words, means that this is my life purpose. What he said actually reinforced my certainty about being a lightworker! And it’s great to know that i can bring happiness to people because that’s who i am, and this is not something i have to strive for. This brought me such an immense boost of confidence that i finally felt like a real pro during my counselling sessions today, like i DO know what i’m doing. 🙂
  • I’m good at reading books and it’s good for me to be always carrying books, and reading books of a positive nature. Well, i do always have at least 1 book in my bag all the time, and it’s nice to know that this actually benefits my life, so i no longer have to feel like some kind of bookish nerd!
  • I can be very forgiving but once i’m angry, i’m the epitome of “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”. His analogy of me was of this famous Yellow River in China, which floods once every year at the same time. Mr Gua Gua was nodding his head profusely at this. But at least, he says once my anger is all vented out, i don’t keep any of it (contrary to my belief that i hold grudges), so that’s not such a bad thing.
  • I am the one that holds the happiness in the marriage as well as Mr Gua Gua’s work success. Yet, cos of my temper and my bluntness, this means that i also have the ability to give real misery to Mr Gua Gua, which i guess it’s true. His advice for me was to retain my feminine yin nature.
  • I loved his analogy of yin and yang. Yang is the sun, which does a lot of things, but not always loved as some people find it too harsh. Hence, children are always closer to the mother as she always gives unconditional love, while the father can be harsh at times. Yin is like the moon, that everyone loves to admire at night, and if i may add, due to its luminous beauty that offers light that soothes and inspires. Yup, this definitely reminds me to be more yin than yang (even though i have been told before that i am quite yang in energy), and to be a supportive ally to Mr Gua Gua, bringing him more happiness than suffering.
  • I would have THREE children (jaws drop to the ground)… totally unexpected as previous readings always said i have 2 children, and even Mr Gua Gua who read my palm before thought likewise. Yet, Mr Gua Gua has told me months ago that he has a feeling we would have a little little girl…. turns out that his intuition may be spot on yet again.
  • My income earning ability is not very high, yet my spending ability is! Haha… i also loved his analogy that there is a thief in my financial side, so whatever money that comes in will be gone in an instant. This is SO true. Despite my pay rise, i still hardly have any money to save cos there seem to be even more things to spend on. Yet this was not a depressing piece of news, cos his very good advice was to convert cash into investments/fixed savings, like putting my money in a safe, so the thief cannot get his hands on the money.
  • I have negative past life influences that can make me inclined to energy sensitivity, depression, strange thoughts, agitation, etc. This is actually good to know, cos at least now i know that when i’m feeling out of sorts, i can be mindful that this is karma and not lose myself even more by worrying about it. Of cos, i would be making more efforts in cultivating myself to reduce such influences. His advice for me was to chant, rather than meditation, as the latter can attract negativity if my energy is low.
  • I have a “fierce” energy (sha1 qi4, literally translated as kill energy) as part of my astrological make up. NOW i know why i tend to make people nervous. While i’m not very happy at first to know about this sha1 qi4, it’s actually a relief for me now to know that other people’s discomfort around me is not due to some internal flaw in me, but more of an energy field thing. And again, Master Luo was very positive, as he even recommended me to consider becoming a policewoman, or some lawkeeping-related job, as my sha1 qi4 would be put to very good use. Haha… i am reminded of how pple often felt i wld make a gd teacher. Yup, guess students wld def be afraid of me! Today, i also recalled my primary school days of being class monitress. Back in those days, i realised that i have this “power” of maintaining class order by just staring at those troublemakers until they feel my stare on them, following which they would be immediately silenced. Heee….  I asked Master Luo if having this sha1 qi4 may be a bad thing for my counselling career, and he said it is actually gd to have some of this sha1 qi4, as this wld give me more authority with my clients. Great! 🙂 Now that i know about this sha qi, at least i will learn to use it in a positive way. He also told me that despite my having this sha1 qi4, it seems like it has not really manifested much for me yet from my appearance (though i do feel that i look quite fierce already), but if i am not mindful and often lose my temper, my appearance would not be very pleasant by the time i’m age 60. “Xiang4 you2 xin1 sheng1”, literally translated as our appearance arises from our heart. So people who practise Buddha’s or a Bodhisattva’s teachings and try to emulate Buddha or Bodhisattva very well would, in time, even take on similar physical appearance. This is VERY true, for e.g. HS, whom i always felt looked like Guan Yin, who is her most preferred teacher. I’m most connected to Green Tara and i guess i must practice harder and cultivate a compassionate heart, so that people wld not feel so uncomfortable ard me. I think this is a very gd spiritual goal for me!
  • For the next 7 years or so, my focus shld be on working on maintaining a harmonious family life to ensure that i have a good life ahead. This would in turn help Mr Gua Gua to have career success.
  • Both Mr Gua Gua and i have fire elements in our make-up, which means we are both prone to fiery tempers. Little boy, too, have this element, so Master Luo advised us to be mindful of our behaviours in front of little boy so that he would not grow up to have a hot temper, which he has a tendency for. Mr Gua Gua and i actually had an argument in front of little boy on the same day (we made up before the session), so after this session, we agreed that in future if we felt heated up, we would save the argument till little boy is in bed. In fact, Master Luo’s advice was to only have constructive arguments, and not to say much when already angered. Of cos, this is something i realised already, as from experience, i know my own words can trigger even more anger in me. Thank gdness i have EFT as a tool to help me cope with my anger. Hopefully, little boy will also learn to use it one day for himself too.
  • Mr Gua Gua and i were in the same environment in our previous life (he didn’t say if we were together) and one of the things we did was to study ascension signs. No wonder this life both of us are so into new age!

Actually there are so many enlightening words of wisdom from Master Luo that it’s hard for me to process in English, but i must say that this is the best self-help session that i have ever attended. Never before have i come away from a session, feeling so empowered, enriched with new understandings and insights, and knowing exactly what i need to do in order to better my life from now on. Mr Gua Gua and i felt so positive after the session and had a really good talk on the way home – the marriage counselling that i so often felt we needed may no longer be needed anymore. 🙂

Mr Gua Gua also received a lot from this session, perhaps even more than me. I’m so glad that finally, someone is giving him a wake-up call, and Mr Gua Gua is paying attention. I have a gd feeling that things are also gonna change for the better for him from now on.

For anyone who is looking for life direction and guidance in general, i can’t recommend this enough. $98 for 1 hour plus is totally worth it, in fact it’s much cheaper than those  new age services, and think the accuracy and depth of Master Luo’s analysis is incredible. He is very aware of the potential of those in his profession to create negative karma through his words, as he said more than once during our session, so i guess he really makes sure that every single word that comes out of his mouth shld be truthful and beneficial.

Well, all i can say is now i have a deep respect for this field of knowledge, seeing how it can integrate morality, luck, karma, many other areas into one seamless whole, where everything is interwined and interdependent. Things that i have heard before and can see the superficial link, now makes even more sense on a whole different level. It’s so profound and enlightening, perhaps i might even study this field one day – though i wld need to find books in English!

So here’s my action plan as a result of this session:

1) Financial planning

2) Practise chanting

3) Find a homeopathist/nutritionist for little boy (who supposedly will be leading a life of illnesses… well, so far he doesn’t seem to fall sick much which i take to mean that i’m on the right track of caring for him, but now i need to make doubly sure of what he needs to build a strong foundation for his health in the future – maybe that’s why he chose me, a health freak among other reasons, as his mum!)

4) Dedicate merits to spirit debtors of my clients as they will be angry at me for helping my clients feel better

5) Be nicer to Mr Gua Gua

Today both my MIL and Mr Gua Gua commented that i seemed to be in a gd mood, and indeed, i do feel very positive and confident today. It may not even be an exaggeration for me to say that i felt i have found myself once again. It’s very empowering to know not only who i am but to also know that when i am who i am, my life can only get better and better. Again, this fits in exactly with all those spiritual teachings, esp those from Conversations With God, but having a person tell me in non- new agey terms with specific examples, makes this truth finally resonate within me.

I’m now happy to say that i know who i am, and i’m proud of who i am, and I Am Who I Am.

Who am I?

A joy bringer

A book lover

Someone whose looks can kill

A female warrior

The moon

I have found myself!

(Mr Gua Gua after reading this entry will understand why i seem to be in such a gd mood today. In fact, after writing this entry, now i understand why too.)

Breakthroughs!

January 13, 2008 at 1:17 am | Posted in Rantings and ravings, The Miracles | Leave a comment

Wow… i don’t know if it was last night, or rather this morning’s EFT tapping, or the daily meditation i hv been doing, or the 7 path hypnosis thingy that i have been practising (from hypnotherapy class), but today i felt like my sessions were in an entirely different league altogether.

First, i was able to apply a bit of psychodynamic/Gestalt therapy with my first client, and used EFT with him throughout the session despite his skepticism abt the technique, which wld normally make me feel more anxious about using EFT. We were working on his throat infection, more specifically, the throat constriction that he felt. After doing 2 rounds of EFT, his intensity level remained at 6. After 3rd round, his intensity actually increased, and i had the confidence to tell him that it’s a gd sign of healing, and if the technique didn’t work, his intensity level shldn’t have changed. He claimed it’s all the talking, so i had him repeat after me silently, and still his throat got even tighter after the 4th round.

I have read a bit of Louise Hay’s work where she give the emotional causes to physical condition, and since his intensity level is not changing significantly, i had a strong feeling that this symptom had an emotional cause. Throat was about expression so i asked him if he had trouble expressing his needs. He said yes, though he has improved through self-work in recent years. I asked him when did he find it hard to express his needs. He talked about his most recent relationship which was a painful one as well as workplace. The relationship was def a significant factor, but i dug further, and eureka – he mentioned his mum who used to ignore him for weeks whenever she was angry, and often used physical punishment, so since young, he decided it was no use expressing his needs, since no one wld understand, and in his mum’s case, it may even cause him to be hurt physically and emotionally.

So we EFTed on all these, about his fear of being punished for expressing his needs, how this fear was a valid one when young, but is no longer so. Thankfully, i hit all the right notes and by the end of the session, his throat constriction went down to an intensity of 4. This isn’t very impressive, but at least the client was able to talk about early childhood experiences that he avoided for a long time.

I also tried out Gestalt, empty-chair technique, where i had him imagine telling his mum in his mind all that he couldn’t say to her as a child. This was a first for me, and i believe it was inspired from a demo from my hypnotherapy teacher the day before. He couldn’t say anything to his mum, so this is something we need to further work on, and i wonder if i dare to ask him if he might want to try hypnosis in our next session, cos people tend to be more receptive when in trance (where the critical factor of the mind is put on hold for the moment but this does not mean you will get brainwashed!). Seems like my hypnotherapy class is helping me in my counselling work after all!

I think i have never gone so deep with a client before, so this was a highly satisfying session for me, and the client gave me higher ratings this session than the 1st one, so i guess he felt it was helpful for him too.

I didn’t do EFT with the 2nd group of clients, however, this was a family that i often felt nervous when working with them, for reasons i’m not very clear about as they are a very nice family. Perhaps in part, i didn’t feel able to help them, even though they were always very positive towards me and didn’t say anything to make me think so. Today, however, i was very at ease interacting with them, injected a lil humour, and felt confident in being more directive than usual, instead of letting the father do all the talking.

Another point to add is that i lent the Quantum Pendant to the son who had ecezma problem and i had high hopes that it would improve the problem so significantly that they would buy it off from me. So i was very disappointed when i knew couple days prior to today’s session that they intend to return it to me. I EFTed myself on this, cos i was really very discouraged by this, and when i saw them, i remained cheerful even as i asked them about Quantum Pendant. Interestingly enough, the son denied any improvement in his eczema, but later in the session, the father said there was an improvement, although he accounted it to his TCM medicine and some health supplements which, btw, the son only took for 2 days to date. Well, perhaps it’s another case of the Apex phenomena (often mentioned by EFT developer Gary Craig, which explains people’s skepticism leading to them finding all kinds of alternative explanations, albeit illogical ones). But after hearing his eczema is actually improved, and so is his sleep problem (his son claimed that school was making him tired), my faith in Quantum Pendant is renewed, despite that they didn’t buy it in the end. 🙂

As for 3rd client, it was a depressed client with a fear of death. I have already had “failed” attempts with 2 depressed clients before, which is kinda discouraging, and i hoped to do better with this one. Just like previous depressed clients, this client tended to complain and ramble, though she was also a lot more coorporative in answering my questions and doing EFT. I spent a whole lot of time tapping on her (it’s always faster when i can do that with the client’s permission) for her fear of death, and i believe it shld have a significant impact in reducing this fear. Yet, the client still insisted that her heart tension remained at 5.

That’s when the warning bells rang, and i was very much reminded of my 1st depressed client, who also insisted on not feeling better even though she didn’t really look very depressed to me when talking to me about her problems. I suspected secondary gains, but was unable to get the client admit to any benefits of staying depressed, perhaps due to unskilful questioning and not gd enough rapport. Likewise, i also suspected the same thing with this client, so i did muscle testing on her. I’m not very gd at muscle testing, and thought that her arm seemed to show similar strength for both truthful and false statements so i was pleasantly surprised when the client told me her arm seemed stronger when she said the false statement and vice versa – it should be the other way round. Which indicates that she is psychologically reversed, or in other words, have resistance to getting well. I explained the results to her and again to my surprise, she immediately agreed that she felt like she didn’t want to get well either. So i asked her if she were to get well, what is something unpleasant that may occur? Her response was, chores. Eureka!

After that, the session went even more smoothly than before, cos after exploring her household duties before and during depression (now her daughters and husband are forced to do the housework) i explained my hypothesis of her possibly not wanting to get well cos it wld mean that she have to do housework again, which has always been a drag to her even before depression. And she listened with the biggest smile on her face, nodding as i speak! I told her how happy she looked, and she laughed, with me laughing with her. Having had depression myself before, i know it’s not possible for a depressed person to do that, so chances are, her fear of death is real, but her depression is a cover up for her frustration of doing unrewarding and unvalued work (her daughter often criticised her cooking and the client subsequently spend a lot of time worrying about what to cook… i can def empathise with that!). So if depression is a chance for her to take a break from chores, why would she want to end her holiday?

She kept asking me, how come she feel so unmotivated to do anything, and when i probed, it turned out she was talking about household chores, so i told her, ANYONE, even healthy persons, would be unmotivated to do things they dislike. And again, she admitted that she is really too lazy to do chores, and this laziness overrides her guilt about making her family do the chores for her. I reframed her laziness as taking care of her own needs. The sad thing about the mothers of the older generation is that they really sacrifice all of themselves to take care of the family, and it’s assumed that it’s the mother’s job to do all the household tasks. Is it any wonder that by the time they are in their mid-life, so many seem to be unhappy and frustrated, angry or depressed with most things in life?

Not surprisingly, she admitted that her needs are less impt than those of her family. I told her, it’s this pushing aside of her own needs that resulted in her current state today, and unfortunately, not only is she miserable but her family is miserable too. Is it not time to start taking care of her own needs so that everyone will be happy? We did EFT on her guilt about the chores and taking care of her own needs, and again, she insisted that her guilt level was still the same (depressed clients tend to be stubborn about their depression!). When i checked further, turns out she has changed aspects, and was talking about guilt over a different thing. As for the chores bit, she said if her daughters said they didn’t mind helping with the chores, she wouldn’t feel very guilty then.

So i got the daughter to come in and explained the secondary gains of her mum’s depression to her. She agreed that she and her sister would have no objections to continuing in helping out around the house even after her mum recovered. She didn’t realise that their good intentions of asking her mum to do chores to distract herself from depression, is giving her even more reason to be depressed! The way they said it to her was that when she is feeling better, she shld be doing some chores, though it’s ok if she doesn’t do chores when she is not feeling good. While they probably didn’t mean it literally, i can see how anyone can take it literally to mean that being well and healthy subjugates one to having to do housework and vice versa.

Well, i got the mother to agree to taking a walk in the park whenever the weather is good and she feels she has the energy, so at least the family can know that she is not spending the whole day at home doing nothing. The daughter also mentioned that her mum’s progress can be very inconsistent, seemingly cheerful one day and back to being miserable the next. My hypothesis was that she could be worried that her family thinks she is getting well, so she better look more depressed to reduce their expectations a bit. Again, my client grinned widely and admitted that was true. I must say this was quite a truthful client. Well, now that we convinced the client that getting well wld not mean she needs to go back to doing things she dislike, but on the contrary, she can then do more things that she does enjoy, hopefully she will have a greater motivation to get well.

This is the first time i managed to uncover a secondary gain with a client and got the client to work on letting go of this secondary gain. So i consider this a real accomplishment! Just to add, i had the Quantum Pendant with me from the previous session, and on the spur of the moment, i decided to loan it to this client. I did the demo with them, and she showed significant difference in her balance and strength with the Quantum Pendant on her. As one of her complaints is low energy, and as she often experienced chills, i believe her body is also out of harmony somewhere, i have a feeling the Quantum Pendant will help her. This time, i had no expectation of the client buying the pendant off me, which i had with the previous client – just wanted the client to really benefit from the pendant,and if they don’t feel they need to buy it, it’s ok!

Having this kind of attitude really made me feel good… in fact, i now feel like the Quantum Pendant could be a great help to me in boosting a client’s improvement, and making any sales at all is not as impt as the fact that clients are helped by wearing the pendant, whether or not they attribute it to the pendant. Having let go of this egoistic attachment of wanting the pendant to be acknowledged for its benefits, it feels good! Anyway, i have sent out a message to the universe, to allow the Quantum Pendant to reach those who would benefit from it. Hmm…. i may add on now, that those people would also see the value of keeping the QP, cos on second thoughts, the improved benefits may not last after they return it to me, and what’s the point then. And if cost is an issue, i could always ask the other party to pay me in instalments, or if there is a real financial problem, i can absorb part of the cost which is fine and cos of the buy 3 get 2 free package, i still won’t make any loss.

Ok, this has been a rather long and rambling post, and i guess i was just so excited and proud of my achievements in counselling today. I give thanks to the universe and my higher power for guiding me in giving my clients the help they need, and most of all, thanks to EFT and Gary Craig, for making it so easy for me to overcome my own blocks, and others to do the same!!!

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