Your first I-love-you

April 22, 2008 at 2:52 am | Posted in Letters to my little boy | Leave a comment

Dear little boy,

It’s been sometime since i wrote a love letter to you. Mummy has been busy lately, and i have missed our mornings together. Thank you for being patient and understanding, that Mummy couldn’t nurse you as late as you preferred to, in the mornings, and had to go out of the house earlier than usual. I know that it wouldn’t be unexpected for a kiddo your age to put up a big fuss, and whine and demand more of Mummy’s time and attention, cos you are used to Mummy being around in the mornings. The fact that you willingly stopped your nursing when Mummy asked you to (for the 5th or 6th time, nevertheless!), and wave bye bye to Mummy as she goes off to work, shows that you are sensible and understanding beyond your years, and Mummy is really very blessed for that!

The weather has been extremely hot these days, and this evening, when you saw the Yakult that Mummy bought, you immediately went, Kult Kult! So Mak Mak gave you one bottle, and you happily drank it all up. Then you went to the fridge and attempted to get another bottle for yourself. When both Mak Mak and Mummy told you no, cos the quota was one per day, you cried bitterly, and kept saying, one more, one more!

(Btw, you are pretty gd with your “mores”, with you one-mores, some-mores, and no-mores!)

Despite my hug and EFT, you were still crying for “one more Kult”, and i decided to take you into the room to nurse, as perhaps you were tired and grumpy with the hot weather. Even as we were lying on the bed, you continued crying, but within the next min, you managed to settle yourself down to nurse, and as you sobbed, i started telling you how everyone loved you very much. You enjoyed this very much, and i knew that everytime Mummy told you how so-and-so (Mummy, Papa, Mak Mak, Popo, etc etc) loved you very much, you would be listening very intently. When Mummy finished the list of pple “who loved you very much”, you would prompt Mummy to continue by saying So-and-So much – which is your short form for this relatively long sentence. Sometimes you would even mention pple who were not part of the immediate family, such as Uncle and Auntie (our neighbours who really do love you dearly).

Similarly, tonight, you quickly quietened as Mummy listed all the people who loved you very much. When i was done, you prompted me to continue with Mak Mak much, and even Mai-Po (Mummy’s aunties, whom we just saw on Sunday) much. After that, i reminded you how everyone loves you, even when you are crying, when you are angry, sad, happy, upset. Of cos, i didn’t mention, when you’re being naughty, because of that one occasion when i casually called you naughty in front of your face, and noticed with with more of shock than amusement, how your relaxed face immediately darkened with a little scowl. Papa quickly assured you that you were a good boy, and again, your face immediately brightened up and you looked happy again. Since then, i never called you naughty again, as now i knew that your feelings would be hurt whenever we do so. Here, i wish to apologise for all those times when we made unmindful comments to your face, not realising that you were paying attention and your feelings got hurt! Do forgive us, my dear!

Well, you were back to your cheerful mood after the love-you-very-much reminders, and i hope you always remember that regardless of the fuss and disappointments of not getting what you want, we do love you very much! After that, you were pretty active and i decided that you were not sleepy so we went out and Mummy had her dinner. In the meantime, you were making quite a mess! Pouring water and spilling it on the floor, followed by pouring biscuits and getting it all over the chair and some on the floor. After the big upset earlier in the evening, Mummy decided not to pursue it, plus she was also busy with dinner. In the end, you took your face towel and got down on your knees to wipe up the water on the floor. Obviously not a 100% correct thing to do, esp when you started wiping yourself with the same face towel after that (!!), but i still appreciated your efforts to do the right thing. And when Mummy asked you to keep the biscuits, not expecting you to respond, you did do what i said, though you ate up half of the biscuits at the same time. It’s always such a delight when you are being a helpful and coorporative boy, and Mummy is really proud of you for that!

When we got back to the bed, Mummy gave you a big hug and told you many times, I love you! Perhaps, partly to make up for all those lost time in the past week, and cos i really missed you more than i realised. I asked you if you could say I love you back to me. Your response was to give me very tight hugs, which was your language for i love you. I wanted you to say i love back to me, and it was a delightful surprise when you suddenly said, I fur-foo!

Both the fact that you attempted to say this wonderful phrase back to me, and the funny way it came out, made me break up in laughter. You were happy about the effect it had on me, and you said it a few more times, which only made me laugh even more, so you started laughing together with me. At that time, i felt like i was just overflowing with love and laughter for you. You were so funny! And you were obviously trying to be mischievous too, cos when i tried to get you to pronounce the words properly, by saying the word I first, which was intended for you to echo, you just spouted yet again, I fur-foo! I think you knew you were not saying it perfectly, and you deliberately said it that way just to be funny.

My dear little boy, you are indeed a natural clown, and even now, as i’m writing this letter, i can’t help but smile at the thought of your funny little antics, like how you would wear a paper bag on your head like a hat, and how you would laugh at yourself when you fall down and say, fall down! How you would echo Mummy’s aiyohs and aiyahs, so that now Singlish has become a part of your daily vocab as well, and how you would do all kinds of forbidden stuff while looking at me out of the corner of your eye, and then giving me an not-so-innocent toothy grin when you see me look right back at you.

My dear little boy, you are starting school next week, and i am really excited for you, because i know you are going to have so much fun with your new friends and teachers, in a beautiful environment that i hope would be like your second home. I hope that it would be a smooth transition for you, and with your highly sociable nature, i hope that you would delight in going to school each day to be with friends your age and learn and play together. I hope that your teachers and friends would fall in love with you, just like how neighbours and relatives do, with your beauty, intelligence and mischievous charm. I hope that Mummy made the right decision for you to be go to this particular centre at this time.

I hope you don’t miss your TV too much, and there will come a day when you would rather be playing creatively with your friends and making up your own fantastic adventures, then sit in front of the TV watching other people’s adventures. I hope that you enjoy the food there, for it would come with greater variety, and you get to eat on your own in the company of your friends. I know you will have no problems eating on your own, and the only reason why Mummy still feeds you is because of her own impatience and lack of tolerance with food wastage, so i think you are going to enjoy the freedom and independence of feeding yourself over there. I hope that you enjoy the little garden over there. There’s not much space to run, but you will get to dirty your hands with the dirt and soil, and i think that’s a must for all little boys, and i think you will still be more active than your usual afternoons at home.

Little boy, i hope that you get to have a REAL childhood in this place. One that is filled with freedom, safety, fantasy and the opportunities to daydream and be a child. I don’t care that you won’t be learning your ABCs and 123s, or algebra or the countries of the world or San Zi Jing. All of that can come later when you are well and ready, not before. Childhood is such precious time, i wldn’t want to take any of it from you by making you act like an adult, or forcing you to do adult activities. You might want to do the latter of cos, just for the fun of it, so you get to imagine yourself as an adult. But trust me, just a little of it is more than enough. Being a child is way better, and i’m sure you know it too. A child’s world is full of possibilities and magic, and i hope you will stay in this world for as long as you need to build up the resources you need to bring these possibilities and magic into the world of the adults. We adults need these very much too!

Fur-fooing you very much,




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