Be The Lighthouse, Not The Rescue Boat

May 31, 2008 at 1:16 am | Posted in Pearls of wisdom | Leave a comment

Be The Lighthouse, Not The Rescue Boat
by Lauren Zimmerman

In our zest for evolving beyond the current reality, and our very sincere desire to assist everyone on this journey, we often lose sight of some very Universal Truths. Each of us choose our own life experience. And each of us make these choices based upon what we need in order to learn or achieve so that we might take our personal steps in Soul evolution.

Love clouds many issues, but it is necessary for each of us to realize not only the infinite Soul of self, but also the infinite Soul of all others. There are many times during this process that each of us will falter, will feel enormous pain, and may even lose our way. Where there is love, there is the natural instinct to rescue. But at times we must resist that instinct. There may be those who gasp in dismay at my words. Is it love to stand aside and allow a loved one to suffer? Is it love when we do not race down into the trenches to pull our friend out of the mud? Yes … there are times when taking no action is love.

If you, as a Soul, need to experience a period of great turmoil, a turmoil that will force you into the depths of yourself to find your own answers, a friend would be empowering you by standing beside you and supporting you and loving you — but not rescuing you.

If you take the hand of a friend and pull them out of the mire they’ve created for themselves, you have robbed them of an opportunity. By remaining in the mire, they will find strength. They will find personal power. They will learn to trust themselves, to turn to their own inner voice. Please understand that if you see a loved one in physical danger, or in harm’s way to the degree that intervention is called for, do not hesitate.

We Are Not Victims

Emotional detachment, something each seeker must learn, calls for a delicate balance of offering support, serving humanity, and offering your belief in a person to the degree that they realize you believe they can rise above all circumstances. As we watch the daily chaos and suffering on Earth it is difficult to believe that we are not victims. But we are not. Emotional detachment allows for a different perspective when evaluating the reality we, as a human society, are creating. When we accept and then begin to understand that our creations, what we experience daily, are created from a base, a foundation, that lies within us, we begin to understand how to create different experiences.

To rescue someone from his or her own creation/experience is to rob them of the opportunity to understand why they are creating the experience they are creating. Our experiences are the gifts we receive from ourselves, with the intention of out-picturing what resides within us.

By taking the deep internal beliefs that we carry, the spirit within us creates an external picture/experience. This creation is a mirror that shows us what foundation we are creating from. If the foundation is fear, doubt, pain, our external world will reflect this foundation back to us. Because all creation must have a foundation on which to build, Universal Law dictates that the foundation must be within us for the simple reason that like attracts like.

The greatest gift we can give each other and ourselves is the gift of allowing our spirit to express, via our external experiences, the truths that reside within us and within our personal energy fields. By doing so, we bring to our attention deep, unhealed wounds and/or beliefs, whether they be from this lifetime or from the past. As we work through our experiences, gaining understanding, conquering fear and pain, we heal that which causes us to create pain and suffering. As we heal pain and suffering, we give ourselves the very real possibility of creating a world based on joy and Soul-wisdom.
¸,.·´¯`·.»§« Practice a Random Act of Kindness

Permission to share freely as long as credit is given.

1st 3 days of past life regression workshop

May 31, 2008 at 1:01 am | Posted in Rantings and ravings | 3 Comments

Just a quick one before i go to bed…

Andy Tomlinson is a really fantastic trainer – ever so humble, and humourous and wise. Sometimes i imagine him to be an Elder himself, with that rosy complexion, white hair and twinkling eyes he has. I feel blessed to be able to train in this area under him.

The participants are an interesting mix of pple, including 2 who travelled from Hongkong and Australia for the training! Their backgrounds include, a past life regressionist (who read Andy’s book 2 years back and just knew she had to meet him), a buddhist centre full time worker, a counsellor, one who has just quit her HR job, a healer/channeler, etc. I have been able to connect with a few of them. One man in particular seem to have a strong connection with me (not the way rd though) as he keeps coming up to chat with me and even gave me a book and self-hypnosis CD today. He’s definitely too old to be interested in me in that kind of way, and i guess we must have met in past lives before in some way or another. I also met someone who is very connected with Green Tara, and i feel she carries Green Tara energy rather strongly.

On the other hand, i found it hard to connect with a few other people, and a part of me even tried to avoid having contact with them for some reason. Well, i won’t be surprised if we are all karmically linked in some way, and we are brought together in this past life regression workshop for the purpose of healing and learning.

Unfortunately though, i have had 2 past life regression experiences so far and as much as i tried to let go of any expectations, i was slightly disappointed that both experiences consisted of rather vague impressions, and i still feel that i was making up some parts. Both sessions were also quite emotionally flat, unlike other sessions that i have seen where the person would become emotional and cry. So far, my experiences were not vivid or strong enough for me to feel anything at all. Sigh… maybe i’m still trying too hard after all, or maybe this was just meant to be?

Anyway, a quick run through of my past life experiences.

Past life #1

I was a little girl who was bullied by brother by having water poured over me and my mum was too busy to come to my rescue but she finally did, though she was annoyed with not only my bro but me as well. I felt lonely and unloved, and my father was seldom around. I grew up to have my own daughter, and i saw her sulking and throwing tantrum. She wanted me to go to her but i was too busy to do so, and she finally settled down. Then i was an old woman, sitting on the bench outside by myself. I finally saw myself lying on the ground, presumably fallen down when trying to walk somewhere, and died alone, with daughter busy in the house and children playing nearby, none the wiser, not knowing that i have passed away. I died with feelings of both peace and sadness, and regrets about not having done more to show love for my daughter, which led to us not having a very close relationship.

In the spirit realms, i was guided to meet my mother who explained that she thought it was impt for her to keep the house clean and put food on the table, and she didn’t know i would want her company. I told her that as a child, i thought she didn’t love me, and wish she could have spent some time giving me hugs or showing me her love through little gestures. I also met my brother, who apologised for bullying me and explained he was also lonely, as our dad was seldom ard, and i was too young to play with him. I then met my father, who revealed that his parents never paid much attention to him, and he thought it was sufficient to just work hard for the family, as that was the norm at that time – parents were not expected to play with children. We had a “family hug” (with the help of a few props, and a part of me was conscious that i was hugging a cushion, blanket and tissue box, but the therapist’s voice helped to guide me into the experience of hugging my family) and i was able to forgive all of them.

I met my daugher as well and i apologised for not spending more time with her. She told me it was ok, and she learnt to become good in making friends because of that. She also grew to be a strong and independent woman, and i knew that she would be able to take gd care of herself. Finally, i met my spirit guides, who told me that my purpose in that life was to learn the meaning of love – that it is not just expressed through fulfilling material needs, but through personal interactions. Also, i was to learn to love myself, and then i would never feel lonely.

Reflections: I thought this past life did have a strong parallel with my current lifetime i.e. relationship with my mum and little boy. My mum def love me a lot but she also didn’t spend much time with me when i was young, and looking back, i may have felt quite lonely too, though i did have my older sister to care for me. And with little boy, i am aware that sometimes i get so busy with chores that i don’t spend time with him, and while often it’s not something i could avoid, there are peculiar moments when i was consciously choosing the chores over little boy, even though i knew the right thing to do was to spend time with little boy instead. This could be an unresolved thing from past life or maybe even current life childhood.

Past life # 2

I was a Chinese man cycling through the marketplace and back home, where my wife was waiting for me. As i was having dinner and chatting with her, my 10 yr old came home and joined me for dinner. It was a simple, happy family life and we were poor but contented. Then i had to go to war, for reasons i was not aware of, but i knew i had to kill the enemy to stay alive so i could go back home to my family. I found myself lying down, unable to move, legs feeling numb (we somehow skipped the part where i got injured). My fellow soldiers found me and brought me to the hospital where i recovered and managed to go home. My wife and son (a young man now) were very happy to see me alive. But as i became a cripple, my wife had to work very hard. I died feeling like a burden and having guilt about not taking better care of the family.

In the spirit realms, I met Jesus (!). I was guided to meet my wife and son, and i apologised for not giving them a better life. They said they understood and it was not my fault. They were happy that i came home alive and was happy to take care of me. I asked my son to take gd care of his mother and he agreed. Next i met the soldier/s (it wasn’t clear as i didn’t have the info from the past life) who injured me. They were regretful, and said they didn’t have a choice as if they didn’t fight they would have been killed. I forgave them. Then i met my men who rescued me and i thanked them for saving my life. Finally, i was given healing for my legs, and i also learnt that my purpose in that life was to learn abt pride and how to receive help without feeling weak.

Reflections: This session was really challenging as the story didn’t come smoothly and a lot of times i felt like i had to make the connections myself. I’m also not sure about the relevance of that life’s learnings to this current life as i am very open to receiving help, and in fact, often ask for it whenever needed! *shrug*

It just so happened that i have been experiencing strange occasional aches in my legs, hips, lower back and arms in the past 2 weeks or so. Andy mentioned today that sometimes we get emotional stuff coming up before or during the workshop, and it’s as if our higher mind knows that this is the time to bring up old stuff, as there is an opportunity for healing her. I wonder if this might explain the aches. I might have unconsciously created a war story in an attempt to heal my aches, but unfortunately, i’m still experiencing the aches. Anyway, i did ask for Green Tara’s help at the beginning of the session, so i don’t think it could have been completely fictional. Oh well…

Well, for the benefit of those who have not experienced a past life before, let me explain that it doesn’t happen like a movie for most pple. For me, it came in flashes of images, thoughts, words, awareness, that were like jigsaw puzzle pieces that i had to put together. For another participant who did see her past life in images, she described the scene coming to her like a stage in a play, where parts of the stage light up one by one, so she could see more and more. Basically, different pple experience past lives in diff ways, and unfortunately, i think many pple think that it appears in movie form and consciously or unconsciously look out for it, and they end up disregarding any experience that does not fit with their expectation.

Come to think of it, perhaps that was what happened to me for the 2nd session. I was actually waiting for stronger images to come to me, so that i can confirm that this was indeed my past life. I ended up doubting whatever i got and because of that, i had a few pauses where i really didn’t get anythng at all. In the first session, i kinda let go and just let the words pop out of my mouth. As a result, the story did flow and the general feel is an experience that is more genuine and complete.

If any of you happen to try a past life regression, do remember that everyone experiences it differently, and just be open to whatever you get, no matter what form it takes. I gotta say, i envy those who get very vivid past life imagery, complete with sounds, smells, the works. But i guess i’ll settle for whatever i can get, and this IS one of those things that improves with practice.

Ah well, i prob still have 2 or 3 more chances to experience PLR – still keeping my mind open and fingers crossed!

PS: Yes, i CAN facilitate past life regression sessions after this course, which ends next Wed, so if you are intrigued and would like to try, feel free to contact me for a session. I won’t be charging until i complete 2nd part of this course in Oct, so for now, it’s FOC! The worst thing that can happen is that you don’t get a past life experience (in case you’re wondering if you are risking something for a free session!); the best thing, you get one or more issues resolved!


Childcare update

May 27, 2008 at 4:33 am | Posted in Rantings and ravings, The Miracles | Leave a comment

Despite my affirmations about little boy receiving the best kind of nurturance for him, which did help a great deal, i still experienced some anxiety about the childcare issue.

I recently called the centre to get some feedback abt how little boy is doing. Teacher C came to the phone – and she’s the one who complained to the head about us taking the PM shift which is unprecendented. Not surprisingly, she encouraged me to come for full day instead as little boy is having a hard time taking naps and the teachers have to pay special attention for him. Her possible biases aside, she does sound sincerely concerned for little boy’s welfare, and her reasons for full day care as opposed to PM shift were valid enough.

Firstly, it’s hard for little boy to go to school and settle down for lunch and nap, which is slightly earlier than what he is used to at home. Second, there are much fewer kids in the afternoon, and fewer activities as a result, so there may not be enough to engage little boy. Third, little boy has limited opportunities to interact with other kids, and may not make friends, which is one of the main reasons for childcare. In fact, the teachers did observe that after the group singing and storytelling, he would be waiting for my in laws to pick him up instead of joining in free play with other children.

While i saw where Teacher C was coming from, i was doubtful that her reports of little boy were fully accurate, and switching to full day was going to bring up a few things, such as convincing Mr Gua Gua, getting past my in laws, the increase in fees, etc. And it certainly complicated things, that Mr Gua Gua was intending to visit another centre that my in laws had their eyes on for a very long time. Sigh!

To cut a long story short, i tried discussing with Mr Gua Gua who was indeed very doubtful about starting full day care as early as June. We didn’t come to any satisfactory resolution, except to find out more from the principal, or rather ex-principal, Katherine. As she has moved on from her position as principal to being the administrator for all 5 centres under Kumpung Senang, i was quite worried that she would not be happy about my calling her for advice and that she would be too busy. Mr Gua Gua’s advice was to simply ask her for a gd time.

So i did, and she asked me to call her there and then, which was this morn. Before the call, i quickly asked Green Tara for support. To my big surprise, she was very concerned about my concern abt the reports i got from little boy, and before i got the chance to tell her what those reports were, she was already asking me which teacher did those reports come from, which means she got into the touchy part of this issue even before i mentioned it. Basically, she was very open, non-judgmental and supportive, and she promised me that she would ask the new principal and teachers to monitor the situation regarding little boy, so she can see what we can do for him. She assured me that being the one in charge of our application, she is also very concerned that we get our needs met, and i felt that she was sincere in her attitude, not merely doing PR. The great thing is that she also explained to me abt the benefits of full day care, which i fully agree with, but didn’t push me into making the decision, and in fact suggested that i start in July, not knowing that i’m already thinking of starting in June. When i explained that little boy seems to be adverse towards school, as it prob hasn’t been the most pleasant experience for him so far, she then agreed that maybe June is better.

Here comes the bonus part. She remembered that i worked only in the afternoons, leaving mornings free to take care of little boy (and to be honest, to get to wake up late and do my own chanting as well!), and asked me how my mornings would be like when little boy goes to full daycare. I replied, pretty flexible. She then asked me if i would be interested to volunteer with the childcare centre in the mornings before i go to work. Oh would I?!?! I was so excited in my response that Kat laughed, and our previously serious and slightly heavy conversation immediately lightened up. I have been thinking of doing volunteer work for a very long time, and was also pondering about how to spend my mornings if little boy were to do full day. This was a great solution cos not only do i get to volunteer with Kumpung Senang, whose causes of promoting a holistic lifestyle and saving the environment are which i fully support, i also get to see what kind of activities they do with the children and learn a thing or two about the Waldolf philosophy! Monitoring little boy was another side-benefit that Kat mentioned, though i personally felt that i can trust the teachers to take care of him and little boy would prob enjoy himself with the more interesting morning activities – it may not also be a gd thing for me to hang ard too close to little boy in case he gets clingy or other children think it’s unfair. Anyway, Kat was impressed with my brief EFT therapy for the teacher that day and thought it might be useful for me to use it with the teachers or children. Well, not sure how the teachers would respond but we can always keep an open mind abt this!

We ended our call with Kat assuring me that her doors are always open to me, and i felt like a huge weight has been lifted. Kat must be a bodhisattva in disguise or a huge benefactor, cos we don’t know each other that well, yet she has done so many great favours for me. I wonder if she goes out of her way for everyone or am i one of the exceptions. From her words, it certainly feels like the latter, and i have no idea why, but i’m certainly more than grateful!

Later when i took little boy to childcare, i noticed he was a lil gloomy in the car so i did some surrogate EFT for him. Earlier in the morning, i had told him in a rather no-nonsense tone, that he had to go to school anyway and there wldn’t be any point in crying, so he might as well just enjoy himself. Well, i had taken the soft approach of cos, but it was pretty superficial cos i know that nobody can really convince him that school is fun except for himself, so i thought i wld try that non-nonsense approach for an all-rounded approach! To my big surprise, he whined when we arrived but didn’t cry at all. He held to my hand and willingly went upstairs to find the toddler group, and it was only when i left the classroom that he started crying. I quickly did some surrogate tapping downstairs -not sure how effective it was though i was sure that i personally felt quite calm so the likelihood of it working shld be higher.

Later i saw them come down for lunch. For a moment, i was thinking, should i make a run for the door in case little boy sees me and starts crying again! Teacher HP told me it was ok, but i hid in the corner anyway. Well, little boy seemed fine when i saw him, and he ended up seeing me, but he just smiled happily and waved, and didn’t come down from his chair. He was eating on his own – again, one of the first to start on his food! When i kissed him goodbye, he didn’t look at me but he didn’t cry either, and i didn’t hear anything when i walked out. Later i managed to talk to Teacher HP on the phone, and she told me it was quite surprising that after 1 week of absence, he didn’t make a fuss upon returning to school, and he even took his nap that day. Yay!

I also talked to Teacher HP about Teacher C’s reports and how i was concerned abt Teacher C’s possible biases. Teacher HP was someone that i really trusted, being my ex-boss wife, and i knew that they go for long retreats together, and i really like her ultra calm and kind demeanour. She told me that little boy’s not taking naps happen from time to time, and 2 weeks is a short time to measure any form of progress. However she can tell he enjoys the singing and storytelling (at least now i can use these 2 as examples of how sch can be fun!). Also, she said that Teacher C tends to be strict with kids, which may be why little boy said he didn’t like her. On the positive side, she knows that Teacher C sees the potential in little boy and talks to him using reason and logic, treating him with respect (which she herself told me too) rather than using sweet talk or other patronising methods. She also told me that Teacher C is very experienced and know how to use different approaches with different kids, plus she is a nice person too.

Hearing her words really put me at ease and confirms for me that Teacher C is someone i can learn to work with to nurture little boy’s potential. Guess Teacher C is one of those whose barks are worse than their bites! Unfortunately Teacher HP told me she was leaving at the end of the month for personal reasons, and i’m really sorry to hear this as i felt very comfortable with her. Hopefully the teacher replacing her would be just as gd, if not better.

Well, all in all, i think i have gathered enough info from all different perspectives – 2 teachers with different styles and an ex-principal – to conclude that WCNC is still the place for little boy. I picked up the Kumpung Senang newsletter today and feel really inspired by its articles on its activities such as volunteering with repairing wheelchairs (project name Wheels of Hope), detox retreats and classes on cooking organic vegetarian food. It seems like such a dedicated and caring place that focuses on caring for oneself, the environment and the world, which is very much what i personally want to work towards. I’m already having fantasies of how we can grow as a family with Kumpung Senang and become active volunteers in the future, or at least go on those family detox camps! I have yet to bring this up with Mr Gua Gua so he would prob first hear it from here…. but all in good time! He’s looking into self-healing too, and starting with the physical first, so i’m fairly optimistic that one day we would be able to explore Kumpung Senang’s activities together.

In the meantime, i’m sure looking forward to volunteering with Kumpung Senang. They actually do energy work too, with this technique called Okada Purifying Therapy which is the first time i heard of it. Wonder if i could offer my EFT services in any way. Am sure this is gonna happen in a matter of time, and just gonna leave it to the universe to tell me how!

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