My first published article in EFT newsletter!

December 27, 2008 at 10:59 pm | Posted in Manifestations | 2 Comments

(AHHHHHHH!!!!!!)

Surrogate EFT for a toddler’s tantrum — a major lesson in doing surrogate work

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to get our Free EFT Get Started Package or our Affordable DVDs for a more complete understanding. For more, read our EFT Info and Disclaimer Document.

Hi Everyone,

A big thank you to Lena Chen from Singapore for giving us an important distinction in surrogate tapping. She says, “Previous surrogate tapping experiences have taught me that when I am feeling frustrated and NEEDED the tapping to work, results were usually less than ideal, sometimes not even working at all. After comparing times when it worked and times when it didn’t, I noticed that surrogate tapping tends to be less effective when I was rather attached to the outcome – in Gary’s words, I was “in the way”, rather than “out of the way.””

Hugs, Gary


By Lena Chen

My 2 and a half year old son has always fussed plenty every Friday when it’s uniform day at his childcare centre. My husband and I had different hypotheses for what could be causing our son to be so aversive towards his uniform, but he was still learning to talk, and while he does understand us, he was not willing to respond yes or no to our questions, so we were not able confirm the real reason behind his rejecting the school uniform.

On this particular Friday, I had to force the uniform on him and he was really distraught, so I started doing surrogate tapping. Previous surrogate tapping experiences have taught me that when I am feeling frustrated and NEEDED the tapping to work, results were usually less than ideal, sometimes not even working at all. After comparing times when it worked and times when it didn’t, I noticed that surrogate tapping tends to be less effective when I was rather attached to the outcome – in Gary’s words, I was “in the way”, rather than “out of the way”.

So I always taught my workshop participants to first tap on themselves before doing surrogate tapping. In fact, I even go as far as to say that when they have cleared themselves sufficiently enough so that they honestly do not care if the person they are doing surrogate tapping for has the problem for the rest of his life, that’s when they are ready to do real surrogate tapping, that is purely for the interests of the other party rather than their own.

This time round, I didn’t tap on myself because I was feeling pretty calm and unperturbed by my son’s crying, and was rather sure that I wasn’t too attached to the tapping having to work. First I tapped generally.

Even though I don’t want to wear this uniform, I am a good boy and Mummy loves me very much.

Despite a few rounds of tapping, my son was still crying, so I tried different Setup Statements, based on the possible reasons for my son’s crying.

When I tried, Even though I don’t want to wear my uniform because everyone else is wearing the uniform, I am a good boy and Mummy loves me very much“, my boy suddenly calmed down almost like magic. That was the first time I had surrogate tapping work so instantaneously and I was pretty amazed!

After my boy fully settled down which was in minutes, I asked him if it was because everyone in his childcare would be wearing the uniform, and that was why he didn’t want to wear the uniform … so that he could be different. And my boy gave a loud and clear YES! A few minutes later, he bounced off the bed happily to have his breakfast, without further complaints about wearing his uniform.

Not only did EFT help me end a toddler tantrum, it actually gave me the means to understand what the toddler tantrum was about. Amazing!

Thanks Gary for this tool that makes parenting so much easier!

Lena Chen

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Unforgettable

December 27, 2008 at 10:31 pm | Posted in All about little boy, Conversations with little boy | Leave a comment

Recent unforgettable moments with little boy:

Him hugging my neck from behind, saying “You’re my best friend!”

I stubbed my toe on furniture and let out a big OUCH. Little boy asked me what happened and I told him. He came over, patted my toes saying sayang sayang. And that’s not all. He kissed my toes… and yes, it felt so much better after that!

This evening when we arrived at our block, he didn’t want to come upstairs for some reason. He dragged me to the nearby badminton court where there is nobody around and pointed me to stand at a spot.

“Stay here!” He commanded. “Stay here?” “Yes, stay here!”

So I stayed there, and he walked off towards the staircase at our block. Halfway, he turned around, pointed his finger firmly at me. “Stay there!”

“Can I go home?”

“No!” And he turned back, crossed his arms with a great big HMPH. He did it a few more times, HMPH, to demonstrate how he felt.

“You angry with Mee-Mee?”

“Yes. I angry.”

Mr Gua Gua who was nearer than him than i was (still obediently standing at the same spot), asked him why he was angry.

“Because I angry.”

“What did Mee-Mee do?” Both of us asked (i had to shout across 5 metres or so).

“Mee-Mee sad.”

“No… see.” I poked my fingers into the ends of my mouth and pushed it into a big grin. “Mee-Mee not sad. Mee-Mee happy.”

“NO! Mee-Mee SAD!”

Err… ok… if you say so. “So you are angry that Mee-Mee sad?”

“Yessss!”

For some reason, Mr Gua Gua took his hand and walked with him towards the staircase (gee, thanks a lot Mr Gua Gua!).

“Can I come home now?”

“Cannot.”

Ok… i didn’t feel like leaving my spot since little boy was insistent about me staying there, but neither did i want to stay there all night. This called for drastic measures.

I pretended to cry. And because there were two guys walking towards our direction, i was mentally crossing my fingers that little boy would respond in some positive manner, or else i wld look like a total idiot crying in the basketball court.

Anyway, it wasn’t a dramatic cry… just a wail, with my fingers under my eyes.

Within a few seconds, little boy turned around and RAN towards me. Then he took my hand in the most reassuring manner, as if he was telling me, “come, I take you home.”

As we walked home, with him holding my hand tightly, he was smiling even, and I asked him, “Are you still angry with Mee-Mee?” “No.”

Before we reached the staircase, i told him to give me a hug, and as we hugged, i told him I love him. And yes, i do love my dear little boy, who expresses his emotions in such a honest manner, and yet, is so quick to rescue me from pain and to forgive me for upsetting him.

Aside from Mr Gua Gua (who can really drive me up the wall, esp now with CNY spring-cleaning round the corner), i think little boy is my best friend too. The one person in the world who can make me feel so tenderly loved and fill my world with so much laughter.

Thank you little boy!

Disney photos up!

December 24, 2008 at 1:58 am | Posted in GuaGua adventures, Visual treats | Leave a comment

Hmm… okie, so it took a little longer than planned… in fact 2 weeks longer! But then, better late than never. Here’s the best selections for your viewing pleasure!

Winter wonderland in Disney!

Winter wonderland in Disney!

Little boy is finally big enough to ride on his own horse!

Little boy is finally big enough to ride on his own horse!

A tickle from Goofy!

A tickle from Goofy!

Caught Mr Gua Gua in flying action!

Caught Mr Gua Gua in flying action!

Sigh... he's sure gonna be a heartbreaker one day huh?

Sigh... he's sure gonna be a heartbreaker one day huh?

It wasn't all joy and laughter on the trip as you can see! This little guy here wanted to stay in the hotel room to watch tv!

It wasn't all joy and laughter on the trip as you can see! This little guy here wanted to stay in the hotel room to watch tv!

The photographer trying to get him into this cheesy (but cute) pose and he is being so obliging!

The photographer trying to get him into this cheesy (but cute) pose and he is being so obliging!

A final shot for the wonderful trip!

A final shot for the wonderful trip!

 

If you want more, check the rest out (all 153 of them!) at http://ianpang.myphotoalbum.com/albums.php.

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