Mysteries of the world – constellations work

May 29, 2009 at 11:55 pm | Posted in Rantings and ravings, Systemic constellations, The Miracles | Leave a comment

Today’s the 2nd day of Family Constellations workshop by Chris Walsch, and i must say, it’s been the most profound and transformative experience for me so far. It’s almost hard for me to continue blogging, because… words are limiting, and i am not sure if i can capture my experience in words, and neither do i want to lessen my experience by trying to capture it on blog. But my intuition says i have something to write about, so i’m gonna give it a shot anyway, and just see what comes up.

Perhaps first a brief intro to this work. Different constellations therapists have different styles, so this particular one belongs to Chris Walsch’s. The participants sit in a holding circle, and the purpose is to support the energy of the constellation. The client is very briefly interviewed by the facilitator about the issue. The issue, like all issues in therapy, ought to be in the person’s locus of control. E.g., I want my child to be more open with me, can be reframed as I want to create a space where my child can be more open with me. The facilitator then asks questions about the family history e.g. no. of siblings, order of siblings, past traumas, deaths, etc.

Chris asks enough questions that allow him to feel connected to the client, and i like the way he checks in with his own feelings and physical responses to the client. He seems to intuitively pick up the emotion within the client, which usually turns out accurate, by using his own body as a barometer. Very often, he says things like, “I can feel it too.”

Then the constellations work begin. The client selects participants from the holding circle to represent significant persons involved in the issue, including one to represent herself, and moves them into positions based on client’s intuition. Once done, the client is invited to be part of the holding circle so that she can observe the dynamics that goes on in the constellation. Once energy shifts happen, through physical movements and power of words, the client takes the place of the one representing her so that she can reintegrate into the new energy dynamics.

The amazing thing about all the constellations sessions in these two days is that the representatives would respond, both behaviourally and emotionally, in ways that are very much attuned to the original persons in the issue. One might wonder if they are conjuring up stuff, so what i like about Chris’ style is that he is very grounded and pragmatic, in the sense that he often checks with the clients if the responses of the represenatives make sense to them – so far in these two days, it always does. For e.g., in my own constellation where i worked on my disengagement with my family of origin, my “older sister” told “me”, that she felt like “I” was always trying to be the older sister. The represenative playing me fervently agreed, and kept insisting towards Chris that she just felt older.

After the constellations session, someone who is new to constellations work asked me if this was really true. Well, it was. Aside from the fact that my sis seems to enjoy telling me that people always comment that she looked like the younger one, I see myself as the more mature one. Add on to the fact that i’m married with a child and she is still single and likes to dress in tees whereas I prefer more mature clothes, it’s pretty easy for me to feel older than her.

Apparently things like this get picked up in constellations work even though the representatives often don’t have the facts. Another example is of this representative of someone’s father. He was reporting intense pain in the left side of his back during the session – so bad that he had to lie down. It was then, that the client reminded us that her father died of kidney disease, which explained the location of the pain, which coincided with the kidney.

An onlooker who doesn’t understand the work might think that it’s all role-playing or acting. However my experience was unlike that at all. When i was playing someone’s daughter, i actually felt like a younger girl, and while i have never hugged someone tightly from behind, in this role, i spontaenously wanted to hug “my mother” from behind, even putting my head on her shoulder in a way that felt very comforting to me.

So what’s the point of forming the constellations? There are 3 main objectives:

1) To include the excluded – the latter can refer to the aborted, those given up for adoption, the deceased, those that the family excommunicated  because the member has shamed the family in some way e.g. prison, different sexual preferences.

According to Chris, the family has a consciousness of its own, very much like an army of ants or a school of fish that travels as a single organism. Once there is a gap in the consciousness (i.e. someone got excluded), the dynamics shift accordingly to regain homeostasis. Thus, a grandmother who was grieving for her dead son and could not be there for her daughter, might result in the daughter’s daughter trying to be a mother instead of a daughter, to replace the position of the grandmother. So once the dead son was acknowledged, the grandmother could acknowledge the mother once more, and the daughter (who is the client) can finally stop playing the mother role and just be the daughter.

Another aspect of acknowledgment is when the family member is introduced to the other members of the family. It is most amazing to see how an uncle who died very young, once acknowledged, allowed the grandparents to reunite with each other, and for the parent and child to be reunited as well. And when the client’s mother (uncle’s sister) told the dead uncle, “I have 4 beautiful children. You are their uncle…”, immediately the uncle smiled. As the observer, i felt this beautiful sense of rejoicing for the deceased uncle, who realises there is a legacy behind him, and for the family who finally acknowledges this very important family member that is still very much a part of the family.

2) To honour the order – using the example above, Chris would direct the mother to tell the client, “I am your mother, and you are my daughter.” Just simple statement of truth changes the whole energy. It was the same for me in my constellations. When i faced my “older sister” and Chris told me to say, “Dear sis, you are my big sister”, it was difficult to say at first, but once i said it, all of a sudden i felt myself almost snap back right in place, and i started crying. Another example of what Chris might tell someone to say would be “I am big and you are little”, perhaps directed to a child who was trying to rescue the parents’ relationships, or play parent.

So these statements were very powerful, albeit simple, and like what Chris says, you can almost see the person shrinking or growing once the dynamics have been shifted. In a certain constellation, this change of size took place in a physical manner. The participant representing the father in this constellation reported that he had to stand very upright in a stiff manner cos it felt like the father was very big. Having understood the relationship between the daughter and the father, Chris told him to tell the daughter “I am your father but I am also just a man” – in other words, to stop putting him on a pedestal. Once the words were spoken and acknowledged by the daughter, the representative playing the father immediately relaxed and felt his body could move again, and he became “smaller”.

3) To return burdens that don’t belong to the person – to illustrate this 3rd point, during the last session of today, i was the daughter, and the moment the constellations started, i felt this strange trembling and fear, and the need to run away from the mother. Then the mother’s parents were brought into the constellations and as it turns out, the mother was also running away from her mother. The grandfather, on the other hand, was avoiding the family. Chris knew about the grandfather’s dead siblings, and so introduced the dead siblings and the grandfather’s parents into the constellations. When the past generations were invited in, as the daughter, i suddenly felt overwhelmed and started drawing closer to the mother so i could hide behind her.

To cut the long story short, and also because i was hiding behind the mother and couldn’t (didn’t want to) catch a lot of the story, the grandfather finally acknowledged his dead siblings, was able to reconnect with the grandmother, and the mother realised she did not have to carry the grief of the grandfather. As a result, the daughter i was representing realised she did not have to carry the grief of her mother either. As the daughter, i could barely keep track of what was going on in the older generations and all my attention was on my mother, and i just wanted to know she was ok. The moment she told me i don’t have to worry about the past anymore, i felt myself relax and grinning back at the mother.

Well, even as a participant, i was finding it hard to keep track of the intergenerational issues, so if you as the reader feel a bit confused, i wldn’t blame u. I just have a sense that facilitating constellations work is a bit like playing chess, cos you need to know how to move the pieces, and it’s a bit like playing detective, cos you need to make connections between the dynamics of the constellations and the facts given by the client during the interview, and you need to figure out who is the excluded member, if any at all. So in other words, the facilitator needs to have LOTS of experience of life. It’s like Ms Marple, that old lady detective. She solves all those mystery cases based on her understanding of human nature, from her experiences in her little village. So while you don’t need to know a lot, there needs to be a very deep understanding of human emotions and human interactions.

Overall, i’m deeply impressed by Chris’ intuition, but more than that, i’m deeply impressed by the respect he has for his work and his clients, and sense of humility. According to him, the dangers in this sort of work only arise when there is ego in the facilitator. This work IS powerful after all… i can see how tempting it is for constellations work facilitators to feel almost like God, cos of the potential it has in healing ancestral issues and karmic links. So i like how Chris throws in humour every now and then in a very therapeutic way (though when i asked if it was purposeful, he said it was just his style) which seems to lighten things up, and put things in perspective. There is no sense of “ohhh, this is very important work so let’s make it as serious as we can”. And interestingly, despite his seemingly laidback ways, the facilitation is really excellent, and it’s apparent that there was healing for all those who were involved in the constellations.

i was “lucky” to be picked to be representatives a no. of times during these 2 days. Well, it wasn’t luck really. I set the intention to heal myself and facilitate others’ healing through this workshop, so I was very much prepared to fulfill the latter by being involved as representatives. Even as representatives, i felt the healing too for myself, and since we are One, maybe there is no such thing as “whose healing is it”, cos when a part is healed, the whole is healed too.

I also like Chris’ incorporation of mindfulness into the process. He introduced us to the concept of using our breath to centre ourselves, so that we can be aware of our inner experience while we are focusing on the outer experience at the same time. It’s really not as easy as it looks and without mindfulness, one might get really lost in the midst of it all. You gotta remember the facts from the interview with the client, watch very closely the expressions of the different pple involved in the constellations, notice your own physical sensations and feelings, figure out what to do next…. . It’s obviously very intuition-based work, yet Chris is able to deconstruct the process, not in an overly analytical way, but in a logical reasonable way as well, so that it’s not airy-fairy or “magical thinking” as he puts it.

For example, when a question was raised, on how did Chris know that the client’s loneliness came from the family of origin and not from the current family. I could almost see the wheels turning in his head as he was trying to deconstruct the process, and his answer was surprisingly logical (to me!). Firstly, he felt that the loneliness had a quality of a young child, and it made more sense that the parent was lonely as a young child, rather than as an adult who had to take care of her own child. Secondly, he felt that the energy was directed towards the empty space within the holding circle, rather than where the current family members were standing, so it made sense that that was where the family of origin members needed to be.

Whew, can anyone tell that i’m totally impressed by him? 🙂 Well, he is a medical doctor and a psychiatrist, so as he says, he really works on a holistic level. Too bad i was never into biology, so the physical level of healing would not be in my arena, and now i can really see the benefits of a well-rounded education so that you don’t overemphasise on certain aspects and overlook the others. Oh well! I don’t see myself taking up biology classes (ugh!) so maybe for now, i just need to tok to more medically trained folks, to open up my horizons even more.

Okie… that’s all i can write at the moment. Honestly, writing this entry took quite a lot of energy out of me! Hopefully i can fill in the gaps tomorrow or the day after so that i can integrate as much as of the learning as possible.

Looking forward to last day of constellations workshop tomorrow!

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Healing at the Core

May 25, 2009 at 9:52 pm | Posted in Pearls of wisdom | 1 Comment

I have been a subscriber to this newsletter for ages, and have been reading the articles more frequently recently compared to the past when I would just skim through the information. These messages are always filled with truth and love, and i find them resonating within me more and more.

Here is one that I feel very much aligned with. If you wish to read more, visit www.urielheals.com.

(And it so happens that Mr Gua Gua’s middle name is Uriel too…)

 

Healing at the  Core
 
I have watched the events of this past week with amazement as I am reminded that this is a time of cleansing and healing, where our most painful, hidden and secret issues are brought to the surface. Whether it is hiding the secrets of a dark past, being out of integrity with yourself and your purpose, facing a choice or decision you have been avoiding, or facing your truth for perhaps the first time, everyone is healing at the core of their being, cleaning out their emotional, physical, spiritual and intellectual closets.
 
While it seems that each of our healing experiences clears out the energy in one big step, we heal at many levels, each one that we complete leads to the possibility of healing the next one. Many compare this process to peeling an onion, which is built of many layers, each one leading to the next layer beneath it. The upside to this is the next layer is smaller than the one above it. As we transform one layer, we have the tools, knowledge and understanding to address the challenges of the next one. And as we get closer to the core, we need all of our resources.

Each layer we remove brings us closer to the core, to the central issues of our soul wounds, the beginnings of our karma and the issues that we have pursued for many lifetimes. As we approach this core the situations we face become more intense, the choices more difficult and their polarity increases. This is where we experience our deepest pain, our most challenging awakenings and come face to face with our Truth. There is no more middle road for us, we have to be on one side or the other, living our life in integrity with our purpose and dreams or relinquishing our soul’s growth to benefit someone else’s healing.

Core healing is the most challenging part of our journey but its presence shows us that we are indeed nearing the end of a long road. We have agreed to reconnect and we knew that we would, one day, face the most difficult healing of all, that which involves us, our choices, decisions and our deepest fears. Here we are and what is next? More healing as we continue on this path. We have a lot of healing to participate in, ours and that of the world, and as we heal, we create those energies for everyone. But we will complete the next phase of our healing with less stress, less difficulty and a greater sense of balance. Remember the layers get smaller as we get closer and closer to the core. And with each step into our own darkness we receive all the light we need to see our way through it.

Correlation between EFT and Dr Emoto’s work

May 22, 2009 at 11:36 pm | Posted in 662537 | Leave a comment

Found this to be a really gd article…

By Deirdre Brocklebank

I have been asking myself could there be more to the vibrational impact of EFT on the body than we realise? For instance, how does the tapping impact on the body outside the energy system? As an adult body is about 70% water it seemed to be appropriate to begin my research on this. This focus led me to the fascinating work with water by internationally renowned Japanese scientist Dr Masaru Emoto and the correlation between his principles and those of EFT.

Of particular relevance to EFT is that after many years of research Dr Emoto has demonstrated that molecules of water are affected by our thoughts, words and feelings. Since the earth and humans are composed mainly of water his message can be seen as one for personal health, global environmental renewal, and a practical plan for the creation of peace that starts with each of us. Dr Emoto regards his work as a exploration of how the cosmos works. Water has taught him about the ‘delicacy of the human soul and the impact that “love and gratitude” can have on the world.’

Dr Emoto has visually recorded the impact of different vibrations on water by freezing it and by photographing the resulting crystal formations. Some of his photographs are shown in his books “The Hidden Messages in Water” and The True Power of Water.”

The following principles are basic to Dr Emoto’s work and of relevance for EFT.

  1. Water is the life force and it is sensitive to all vibration.
  2. The entire universe is vibrating and everything has a unique frequency (sound).
  3. The Universe is naturally in balance and harmony, and discord has a destructive vibration.
  4. The words “love” and “gratitude” form the fundamental principles of the laws of nature and also of the phenomenon of life.

Rest of the article can be found here:

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