Bert Hellinger on interpretation

August 26, 2009 at 12:28 am | Posted in Pearls of wisdom, Systemic constellations | Leave a comment

“In psychotherapy, very often, we interpret what the other person does. Every interpretation limits the possibilities of the other person. Each interpretation is dangerous. And I’m bold enough to say, each interpretation is wrong. When we abstain from intepretations, we can perceive many many things. Once we intepret something, we are fixed to this interpretation and our vision is also impaired. Now when we are here, we can practice this kind of love. The work with your client here, you shine your sun upon them. [Send them] well wishes…and you support them, and you support me.”

(This is why i don’t believe in conceptualisation…)

Bert Hellinger on freedom

August 17, 2009 at 9:16 pm | Posted in Pearls of wisdom, Systemic constellations | Leave a comment

I stumbled upon someone’s blog on vision boards, and started surfing around about vision boards. It’s a nifty concept, that by creating some kind of collage with pictures and words that excites one, you elevate your energy to become in sync with the collage, and hence attracts it to become your reality.

I was almost tempted to try out this software which is kinda like virtual vision boards, where you make little movie clips instead. But dousing my angel pendant gave me a negative.

To cut a long story short, i think it’s not that vision boards or even that mind movies software aren’t good. It’s that i’m not ready. I have no idea what i really want.

I went to my blog and dug up entries on what i manifest for the future – “Things to do before I turn 40” and my vision of my Integrative EFT Centre. As i read them, i no longer felt the excitement, though the feeling is still a positive one.

So when i started watching my 2nd Bert Hellinger DVD, it was a relief to hear his thoughts on what freedom is. Here’s a transcript from the DVD:

What is freedom? Do we have freedom? A little bit. The main freedom is to change. To change for the better. And how can we do that? We get in tune with something that guides us. If we just make up our minds and say “I want to achieve this and this and this and this”, the outcome in the end is little actually. But if we allow ourselves to be guided by something that is beyond us, we can achieve something special, beyond our planning…in the end, freedom is about surrender. It is nothing else but giving up to something greater. And that’s the way we work here.

The language of soul

August 17, 2009 at 7:18 pm | Posted in Rantings and ravings, Systemic constellations, The Miracles | Leave a comment

I just attended a systemic constellations workshop conducted over the weekend by Francesca Mason Boring. I can’t quite blog about the experience at the moment. It’s quite indescribable, and i don’t wish to force it out in words. But i do need to blog right now. Been feeling rather unsettled the whole day, and took a break from the world by staying home and sleeping in/meditating/doing nothing much.

In the last hour or so, i have been watching the Bert Hellinger DVDs that were loaned to me by Anutosh, the lady who organised the weekend constellations workshop. She intuitively felt that i and another lady would be suitable in doing this kind of work and told me she would lend it to me first. She told me that during lunchtime yesterday, and later in the afternoon, Francesca told me separately that i should watch the DVDs, which kinda confirmed Anutosh’s hunch.

When i saw Bert Hellinger on the DVDs, i was a little surprised by how kindly and gentle he was, which contradicted the impression i got from another lady who told me some horror stories about his callous bluntness that had quite adverse effects on the other party. Of cos, these DVDs were recorded in 1993, and this lady’s encounter with him was just a couple years back. He have probably changed over the years.

Still, i am very much drawn to this Bert Hellinger from 1993. Unlike Chris Walsch and Francesca, he hardly intervened in the constellations. There was a particular constellation where he only intervened maybe about 3 or 4 times, bringing a representative to a different spot, or asking a representative to say certain words.

He also didn’t ask the client or the representatives questions. Seemingly out of nowhere, he would introduce new persons in the constellations, and they were apparently significant, cos immediately after, there would be a cathartic response from somebody else in the constellation. But after the constellation had ended, Bert Hellinger explained the reason behind his decisions for intervention which were astounding in its simplicity.

For example a client’s issue was that she hated her mother. She and her “mother” stood across each other. After a while, Bert Hellinger asked “father” to step in, and following that, “father’s mother”. At this moment, the client became very agitated and emotional. But when Bert Hellinger moved the client to stand beside “mother”, she initially cried, but then happily hugged “mother”.

Later, it became apparent that it was the client’s paternal grandmother who had the hatred for her mother, and the client unknowingly identified with that.

Bert Hellinger explained how he knew. He said that when the client stood across her mother, her expression of hatred looked like that of an old person. It was not a child-like hate. “Things are that strange”, he said.

He then told the story of a constellations workshop for couples, where a lady came without her husband, which was unusual. When he got her to stand across a man who represented her husband, “husband” started trembling with fear. He asked her, “Have you ever thought of killing your husband?” The lady said yes.

It turned out that one of their children had attempted suicide before, and the lady’s husband was a Japanese, while her father was involved in the development of the atomic bomb. It was as though the war between US and Japan was being played out in the family itself.

Constellations work is definitely getting me intrigued. I feel so strongly that i need to pursue this therapy, because of its tremendous potential in healing many at one time, across generations and time, so that the future generations can be released from past bondages and entanglements. Somehow i feel like i have been prepped for this work in some way, from the past life regression therapy, my “experimentation” with Gestalt therapy, and the recent initation into Inner Dance, which is also about the flow with Spirit.

There is something very hypnotic about this work. The stories themselves are incredible, but it’s that feeling of being part of something greater than the self.

This is indeed something that is very hard to express in words. But once experienced, it relly initiates you into this universal force, where you have no choice but to expand your worldview many many times over.

It’s mind boggling… but perhaps, that’s cos i’m using my mind to perceive it. 🙂

Anyways, with end of Aug nearing and still no clear plan in mind, i am that close to feeling lost and anxious. But i’m also very aware that there are many unseen forces guiding me, and as long as i remain mindful of whatever is happening within and without, i will continue to pick up the breadcrumbs that will lead me to the path that allows me to work for the greatest and highest good.

I will be working on a different time frame from now on as well. I have been involved in too many activities that were based on mental processing, and my energy was much drained as a result. Starting from today, no more planning or deadlines. Just go with the flow, and doing whatever my heart urges me to do.

Perhaps it’s only when i work in this state of timelessness, that my actions would lead to that which is timeless…

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