Sweet Miracles

Many many new things happening for me in this relatively short period of 3 months.

Leaving my job to start my own practice.

Leaving my marriage to step into independence and reclaiming of personal power.

Leaving fuzzylena@yahoo.com to lenachen82@yahoo.com

Today i decluttered my old bedroom at my mum’s place. The maid arrived today, so things were cleared in a jiffy. Thank you universe for sending me manpower!

I also decided to cut my hair much shorter. I have this new theory, that when we have huge changes in our life, the “old DNA” gets moved to the dead cells of the body – nails, outermost layer of our skin, hair. That’s why women cut their hair when they go through breakups or dramatic changes in their lives. I have this feeling that we are literally removing the old DNA in our body.

I have been wanting to cut my hair for a few days now, despite a relatively recent haircut just about a month ago. Obviously, the old DNA wanted OUT! So i asked the universe for a great haircut, and this morning, when i told my sis i wanted my hair really short, she told me the salon near our place which is really cheap, was not too good with short hair. She told me to go to another one which we are regulars of, which is $25 instead of $4.90, but is really good.

I was like, “ok, the universe is sending me my great haircut this way… at least i know who to go to” and i know this hairstylist not only has excellent skills, but is very intuitive as well, and has the knack of styling your hair in a way that suits your personality. But i only had $5 in my wallet and didn’t feel like drawing money from my bank acct since my money was depleting.

Well, i didn’t fret about it and just went back to my room to the computer. Interestingly, the internet connection didn’t get started. It was as if the universe was telling me, “Not the internet now! You need to do something first.”

“What?”

“Ask your sister to sponsor you for the haircut.”

Hmmm…. okaaayyyy…..

So i did, and she handed over the money, with a slight wry grimace, but well, there’s my sponsored haircut!

And I went back to the computer. Still the internet connection won’t start.

“What else?”

“Tell her about Inner Dance.” There was a free Inner Dance preview that evening.

Okaayyyy…. so i went along to tell her about it, and she was as usual skeptical and doubtful, but she asked me for details.

So I went back to the computer to retrieve the info, and this time i restarted the comp. Ok, a bit duh huh… maybe i shld have done that right from the start. But then i wldn’t have asked the universe for guidance and i wldn’t have gotten my sponsored haircut!

Anyway, i passed her the info, and i have this feeling that she went to check it out. Inner Dance has helped me so much in my transformation. I sure hope it would help her too. Anywayz, i have done what i could… the rest is up to her.

Btw, the haircut was great. I now sport a really cool and sexy bob! This guy is really good… i’m going to have him cut my hair from now on! Already received a number of compliments on my hair today… and well, most importantly, i like it!

What else is new? I have a new way of working my healing sessions. I have been connecting with friends in these 2 days, and doing healing for them, and the universe “pushed” me to try out something new, which seems to be IT. A combination of Inner Dance, sound healing and…. channeling! The channeling is an unexpected outcome from Ailee’s sessions where while in trance, her client gets to dialogue with their “upstairs” whomever that may be. After 2 sessions with her, i seem to have gotten the hang of making that connection, and the Inner Dance and toning just puts me into trance mode, which makes the channeling happen almost automatically.

So far, the feedback’s been great, and the sessions leave me feeling highly energised. I’m almost like “begging” pple to let me try out my new healing stuff on them, cos it’s so interesting to experience myself doing new things in every session – new movements, new tunes, and it’s been really lovely channeling Guan Yin. She’s SOOOO happy! Whenever i feel her energy, i just wanna laugh all the time. And she’s so sweet too… heehee… so i can basically do this work all day long. Well, i’m gonna keep offering free sessions to pple until i develop this thing to the point when it feels like i shld charge. But then again, who knows. Maybe the energy exchange can be facilitated by the universe, so that i get provided for not directly by the recipient of the healing but in other ways.

Anyway, it’s interesting cos while the healing was offered for free, i gained both the intangible benefits of experience and connecting with the Divine, as well as tangible stuff such as free meal, free snacks, and objects like umbrella and book… little stuff, but which are really useful and practical for me. And the universe is definitely rewarding me, cos i’m receiving gifts all day long. Words of encouragement from advertisements and signs. Number signs appearing like crazy. My intuition getting louder and louder, and it’s getting easier for me to pay attention to it.

I even received an options trading chart from these AIA folks. The last time we met, I mentioned to them i was going to learn options trading. Today we met up, and the guy passed me the chart, which his friend gave to him over a year ago and which he had no use for cos he was into forex trading. The lady told me that he went to search for it, which i really appreciated, especially since we had only met once before. The two of them are such kind and helpful pple… and today, again, they gave me plentiful useful tips and advice on investments and trading. I feel like they are teachers that the universe sent me to guide me on the path of material success. I’m blessed, to have teachers for both the material and the spiritual… thanks universe!

The last thing that is new… my blog! It is time for me to move on… even this blog. I’m no longer fuzzy wuzzy…hahaha… and since i can’t change the user id, i gotta change my blog. Also, i feel like it’s time for me to blog in a different way as well. Still personal sharing, but less me-me-me, and more of insights about life and healing. I’m ready to step into my role of being a teacher, and blogging would be one of my means of teaching.

So here’s a big thank you to those of you who have been following my blog. Even if i may not know you in real life, we are connected energetically, and a huge reason why i write the things i write is also because of the energy on the other end.. which is you! (word count: 1212)

The year is coming to an end, and i expect whatever is no longer fitting, will continue to be purged out. I’m very very pleased with my year so far. It’s been interesting… chaotic at times, but it allowed me to walk my talk of “finding peace through life’s ups and downs” which is the tagline for my company Lena’s Healing Haven.

And so, it’s with great pleasure, that i invite you to visit my new blog http://soulmelodies.wordpress.com.

Thank you fuzzynale and Sweet Miracles… it’s been great while it lasted, and you will always be a part of me, even as I continue to expand into my fullest potential.

Adieus!

I was right… the Penang Inner Dance retreat was indeed one filled with miracles.

Where do I even begin?

Let’s start with the place Malihom. This retreat centre is a place that not even the locals know about because the owners intended it for overseas artists who need a sanctuary where they could be in their own space for receiving inspiration. The fact that one of the Lifeworkers was exhibiting Lifeworks at a university and was approached by one of the owners, who offered the retreat centre to them when they heard about Inner Dance retreat, was in itself a huge miracle.

We had the whole place to us! And it was unbelievably beautiful. We each had our own barn, all with its own unique design. It was apparent that a lot of love went into the design and construction (the wife of the owner is an architect), from the beautiful jelly-coloured door handles, the creepers twirled around wires which were carefully placed from the roof to the floor, the benches and hammocks located at every spot where the beautiful mountain view can be admired from, the gorgeous landscaping that makes you feel like the place is literally part of Mother Nature… every single part of the place was beautiful. I only wish i had a better way of describing it. But maybe this place is simply beyond words.

I had absolutely no wish to blog during the retreat in this beautiful place, cos i just wanted to drink in the beauty of this place, and be enchanted by Mother’s Nature’s graces. The program is also slightly more intensive than the one in Tagatay. The Lifeworkers did such a wonderful job with the programs. Every meditation, every exercise, every workshop was tremendously healing, and I am just amazed how it all flowed together seamlessly, and how we were so blessed to have it all within the same compound, in a period of a few days, when outside the retreat, each session would be already quite excellent on its own.

And those are seriously just the peripherals. This is the part where it gets harder and harder to describe, cos i’m not even sure if i understand what happened. Perhaps i’ll just let my heart take over from this point onwards.

I found myself during this retreat. The divine self who knows she is part of the universe, part of Oneness. I ceased to be a human from day one. During the first meditation, we were asked the question, “What do I need to let go of?” Both answers that came to me was tremendously profound. The first was Time. The second was myself. I experienced the latter with great fear. If there is no more Lena Chen, then what about her desires, her wishes, her dreams, her mission?

And yet, I said goodbye to her, and then I had a vision of the human me reuniting with her other half in the spiritual world. Tears of love and pain flowed from me. There was nothing left. I was nothing. But at the same time, I was everything.

After the meditation, i was seriously surprised to find out that i didn’t vaporise into the heavens or something like that. It felt THAT real to me. So while it was like nothing much changed, and hey, even my desires and dreams still remained (whew!), there was also something new within me. Right at the very core of my being, there was a lightness that felt rich at the same time.

Perhaps it was this meditation that led to many new discoveries of myself during this retreat. My Inner Dance took on new choreographies, and i saw myself often holding my left hand on my navel, which felt very centering, as my right hand made circles, sweeping motions, bringing my body forward and in all directions.

Two of the most profound experiences was when i was guided to do Inner Dance healing for M. My hands moved on their own, and i allowed my body to do whatever it was supposed to do. As my hands pulled out and threw away energies from M’s legs, his legs shook and trembled violently. A few times, , my right palm slammed against the ground with a loud bang. Intuitively I knew that i was grounding his energies. During this healing, there were 2 parts of me. The healer part who knew exactly what she was doing, and was very steady and grounded. The logical part of me who was simply astounded, and was trying to make sense of what in the world were my hands doing to his body.

Perhaps it was not coincidence that just a few days ago i was surfing on youtube for lightworker related videos. That’s when i learnt that lightworkers come by different names, and one of them was Energy Weavers. Then i remembered that i described my Inner Dance experience in one of my previous blog entries, where i felt like my hands were weaving something, except that i don’t know what. This youtube video was like a reconfirmation of what i intuitively felt i was doing.

While the Inner Dance healing made me work up a sweat cos there were lots of arm movements, and i had to do it kneeling down as well as moving up and down, it left me feeling greatly energised and at peace. This was really my thing. If my physical body could handle it, i would be quite happy doing it all day long.

The other profound experience was when Stephanie, the sound healer, led us in a meditation. Halfway through i just felt like sitting up, and at a certain point, i knew i HAD to sing. Half a second later, i broke into a melody that complemented Stephanie’s singing. I have never heard myself sing so powerfully, and while i knew I can create melodies in my head, the tune that came out of my mouth was so in sync with the background music and Stephanie’s singing, that again, the logical part of me experiencing jaw-dropping amazement. Anyway, it was very apparent that i was channelling something, cos my eyes were blinking all the way and my facial muscles were actually twitching from the intensity of my voice. The meditation was about bcoming a bird and flying free. As i heard the words, i realised that that was indeed what i had become. My fingers became feathers, and my arms became wings. As I sang, i was flying high, being one with the heavens, part of infinite love. How i wish it could have lasted forever. But that’s coming from the me who is typing this right now. During the session, when the song finally ended and the meditation was brought to an end, I was still a bird, very much at peace and not bothered by endings or beginnings. Things were simply the way they were, and it was all good.

So even though during the last few months, ever since the Tagatay retreat when I was singing the Earth song with Daniw, I have been receiving clues that my voice can be used for healing, this was the biggest strongest indication yet. I know that people cried during this session. I’m not sure why they cried, but on my end, i felt there was something heartbreakingly pure in  the song that was sung. I was so glad to be part of the song. What a gift and a blessing.

During the Inner Yoga, the last program of the retreat, i was happily twisting my body in the strangest postures ever (all guided by my body wisdom btw… Inner Yoga, like Inner Dance, does not come with any instructions except to just flow with the body), a lady experienced intense catharsis and was crying and screaming the place down. Both Daniw and Pi were guiding her through it. Again, i experienced that strong urge to sing, so i sat up, and again, allowed my voice to come forth. There were just 2 or 3 notes, and deeper. From the way my hands moved, i felt that i was helping to hold the space for her healing, and to ground the excessive energies into the earth. Later, Pi mentioned that when i started to singing, he recognised it to be the Earth Song (which i frankly still don’t really know what it is), and he and Daniw smiled at each other. Honestly, i still have a little trouble owning this gift, cos even when he said that, a part of me thought he was just being kind.

Stephanie mentioned to me that the most powerful (or one of the most) ways of healing oneself is to be of service to others. I guess it’s true, because in this retreat, i seem to be of more service, and i also received much healing for myself. During the  Inner Dance session of the 1st or 2nd day, i experienced deep sadness. My head was bowed on the floor and tears came up from the depths of my being. Little boy came up and i felt him kneeling next to me. “Are you ok, Mee Mee?” He kept asking me. I couldn’t reply. My hair covered my face, and my tears were still flowing.

Then he climbed up onto my back and put his arms around me, like a piggyback ride, and while normally i would take that as mischievous fun, this time i felt like he was sending me healing energy. His weight on my back felt warm and reassuring, and within a few moments, my sadness eased. After that he came down and started to pat my back firmly, almost like the way Daniw does it with her healing massages. Very soon, i felt much better and came back to sit upright, and i think he went off elsewhere to play as i continued with my Inner Dance.

At the end of that particular session, when we were given a break, he ordered me in a no-nonsense voice, “Mee Mee, lie down. You need to rest.” I followed his instructions like he was the mother and i was the child. Following that, he brought all the rose petals that was used in the welcome ritual and laid them on my heart chakra. He repeated this later in the day, but putting them on my 3rd eye instead. The next day, it was sticks that he picked up. “Fresh sticks medicine for you.” He said. I felt so pampered and well taken care of…. my dear little healer boy.

Everyone said he was very well-behaved, and i guess he was, even if he was a little noisy at certain times and usually it was Mr Gua Gua who brought him out. It was good that Mr Gua Gua was not as interested in the sessions as I was, and he was willing to babysit him during most of the sessions that little boy was too restless for. Even so, Mr Gua Gua told me that this retreat helped him greatly in his healing as well. The change in him is indeed very apparent, and he’s definitely very different in this retreat compared to the one in Phillipines where he was more interested in noticing my “bizarre” actions and sneaking rice from the kitchen than in the healing stuff. This time round, he was very disciplined, and didn’t even eat little boy’s left over char siew rice which he loved. While i didn’t really notice him much during the retreat, during one of the Inner Dance sessions when I was outside taking care of little boy, Lee beckoned me over and pointed to Mr Gua Gua’s Inner Dance movements, saying, “Wah he very happening ah.”

Well, Mr Gua Gua is finally stepping onto his spiritual path… at least that’s how it appears to me, and i’m glad. As for me, i am discovering my gifts, and realising that i need to continue having more faith and love in myself. The Lifeworkers are a real inspiration, for they are so pure and focused in their service to others. The Lifeworks Centre is a beautiful healing place, with many miracles stories of its own. Maybe I’ll blog about it another time.

Time to send little boy to school. Till the next time…