A miraculous EFT session

February 19, 2008 at 3:04 am | Posted in All in a day's work, The Miracles | 8 Comments

I had an amazing session with a client today – as far as i can tell, this is a session that i went most in-depth with a client and apparently brought about most significant healing out of all the counselling I have doneup till now, and i’m thrilled! I’m planning to write about it, with this entry being my first draft, and submit it to Gary’s EFT newsletter. I have benefitted so much from his newsletters, whereby EFT practitioners have shared so generously about how they conduct their work. It’s thanks to all the ideas and tips that I learnt from them that prob led me to being able to do this session today, and it is my wish that my article, if accepted, might also encourage or even inspire some EFT newbies out there, in one way or another.

Sue (not her real name) is a young, pretty, timid-looking lady whose mother brought her to counselling as she has been having depression as well as what appeared to me as delusions about people conspiring against her. During the session, she was so shy that she kept looking down at her hands as she spoke. She was initially very anxious about not being able to tell her story clearly, so we started doing some EFT on that.

Even though I’m nervous about not being able to tell my story….

Even though I don’t know where to begin…

Even though i’m afraid i will tell my story in an unclear manner that will confuse the counsellor…

Even though i’m afraid the counsellor would not be able to help me…

After two rounds of tapping, her anxiety level came down from 5 to 0, and she began telling me the stresses in her life, from the politicking in her work where she seems to be the target of her colleagues’ gossip and bullying. A few weeks ago, she started suspecting that her boss was keeping her under surveillance and rumours were being spreaded about her, such that even passerbys know about her private details and are cursing her in public. Furthermore, she was in an unstable relationship with her boyfriend who has been making excuses not to see her and hasn’t contacted her for a month.

She got visibly agitated and anxious as she spoke, and i knew there were many possible things we could tap on, but as they seemed to be the tip of the iceberg, my intuition told me to probe further. I asked her what has been the most stressful thing for her in the past 2 months. She mentioned shifting house, which is the 5th time since 2006, the reason being her mother kept hearing and smelling an ex-neighbour’s noises and urine (which she said he poured down on their house) even after moving house. However Sue has never witnessed the noises and urine, and I guessed that both mother and daughter’s upsetting delusions might share a link that I need to understand more about.

Before 2006, Sue and her family have also shifted house a few times, however, for a different reason. Sue, her mother and her brother have all experienced paranomal activity in the 3 different houses they have stayed in the period of 1997 – 2005. In the 3rd house, only Sue experienced the paranomal activity, which she described as having a heavy presence on top of her when in bed, and feeling as if a big knife was penetrating her stomach. Listening to this, i wondered if there were any dark entities in her, which might be contributing to her current distress.

Still, I decided not to do EFT yet but to probe on further. Sue mentioned she started working and part-time study at the age of 16, and quit her first job after 6 months. I asked her the reason for quitting. She said she was affected by the extremely volatile relationship between her two bosses who were having an affair, and once, she witnessed another boyfriend of her lady boss physically fighting with the latter in the office. Again, she got very anxious just telling me about this and for some reason, I decided perhaps this is a good time to do EFT.

Even though I was so scared to see them fighting, and I was afraid they were going to kill each other, and I was only 17, and this was the first time i was seeing such a thing happening….

After one round, her anxiety dropped from a 10 to a 5, and we tapped another round. Halfway, she suddenly told me, this was not the first time she was witnessing violence. The tapping on this violent event triggered off a childhood memory of her, at age 3, watching her father pummel her mother who was lying on the floor, and Sue was hitting her father, trying to get him to stop, but to no avail. At this point, Sue felt a mixture of emotions: fear, sadness, anger, helplessness… and she was evidently at a 10.

Even though I’m feeling a mixture of emotions now: fear, sadness, anger….  

Even though my father was hitting my mother, and I could not stop him, I was only a young girl, and it was not my fault.

Even though I was afraid that my mother was going to get killed and leave me, I try to accept and forgive myself, and I am safe now.

Even though I’m so angry at my father for hurting my mother…

After a few rounds, Sue seemed to have trouble breathing and looked giddy, and I asked her if I could tap on her so that she could just lie back and concentrate, and she agreed. I asked for permission to tap under the armpit and under the nipple (on the ribs), which she gave. She continued to speak her fears about the scene as I tapped her on the face and upper body, and slowly her breathing steadied and she looked calmer.

I asked her if she had anything to say to her father, if he were standing in front of her right now. In Mandarin, she told her father how much hurt he has brought to the family, having an affair, having a second wife, the latter and her children verbally abusing Sue and her family, causing Sue’s family to have financial problems as Sue’s father forced them to sell their flat at a loss, etc, and it’s because of what he has done, she was unable to get a better education, and now could only do mediocre in her life, suffer from low self-esteem, unable to manage stress, etc. I only paused her twice to do the setup, to deal with any possible psychological reversals, and just tapped her continually all the way as she was very attuned to the hate and anger she felt towards her father. She became a different person during this time; her tone became very cold and her words were cutting and came without any hesitation. At one point, she said that he deserved to have his flesh pierced, which reminded me of her paranormal experience and I wondered if her negativity towards her father could be attracting dark spirits towards her. (On a sidenote, I remember reading in one of the articles from the EFT newsletter that paranomal activity in the house is sometimes directly caused by the huge amt of negative repressed energy from the occupants; when suddenly released, it can actually cause things to move, so that it appears as if there are spirits around. However I am not sure if this might be the case for her.)

After she spent some time telling her father about all the suffering he has caused her and her family, i had her repeat the phrase “i hate you” many times as i tapped for her. She said these words very purposefully, with great intent, and I could see that under her quiet, soft-spoken demeanour, was a huge volcano of unexpressed emotions waiting to explode, and now with EFT, the potential explosion was being released bit by bit. During this time, she gradually relaxed, and she almost seemed to go into a trance – her hand dropped from the armrest and she started talking very slowly as if asleep.

After I felt that we have done enough, I asked her if her father was listening, and if he had anything to say in response to all that she had said to him. She said her father was just keeping quiet, pretending that nothing was wrong. I explained to her that as her father was in her mind, he was able to reply as long as she wanted him to. Indeed, her father started speaking, and Sue’s voice actually changed in pitch and tone, sounding like that of an old man. “Sue’s father” told Sue that he was wrong, but that Sue has already grown up and should not cling onto the past anymore, and learn to take care of herself. I didn’t want to let “Sue’s father” off so easily, and asked him if he knew about the hurt he has caused Sue and her family. “Sue’s father” admitted to his mistakes, and said that he wanted freedom and didn’t want anyone to control him, that he was just thinking about himself. I asked him if Sue knows about his relationship with his parents. “Sue’s father” did tell Sue about how his parents favoured his sister more than him, and never really cared much about him. I asked him if his parents ever taught him how to love. “Sue’s father” laughed dryly, and said his parents don’t know about such things.

Through this conversation I had with “Sue’s father”, Sue came to realise that it wasn’t her father’s fault that he wasn’t a good father, as he also didn’t receive the love he needed from his parents, and hence didn’t know how to care for other people. He was also unable to give financial support to Sue’s family as his second wife forbade him to. He expressed regret for not taking better care of Sue and her family, and felt that if he had received love from his parents, things would be a lot different now – he would have made different choices, and be a better husband and father. I did EFT with “Sue’s father”.

Even though i wasn’t a good father, i try to accept and forgive myself. It wasn’t my fault, either. My parents never taught me to love, so i never knew how to love others. My parents never cared for me when i was young, so when i grew up, i detested people trying to control me, as I didn’t realise the difference between control and concern. Even though Sue may hate me now, i try to accept and forgive myself anyway. I was also doing the best I could, under those given circumstances.

We did a couple rounds, and I asked “Sue’s father” if he was able to forgive himself now. He said he could. I thanked “Sue’s father” for being able to be here today and asked to speak to Sue.

I asked Sue if what she had to say about what her father just shared. For the first time, Sue realised that her father was very much like her, experiencing the same feelings of being unloved, lonely, having no one to understand her. For the first time, she was able to feel compassion for her father.

I asked Sue to imagine her father as a young child. She saw him as a boy running around, playing by himself. I asked her to go up to him, and if she like, give him a hug. With the cushion i passed to her, she seemed to find relief and joy in hugging her father as a boy, and she told him that it’s ok, she would be his friend and play with him, and he would not need to be lonely anymore. She told me her father seemed surprised, then happy. I told her to tell her father that anytime they wished to see each other, they would be able to do so, and to give him one more hug and say goodbye to him.

Then I had her imagine herself as a young girl and she saw herself at 4, feeling lonely as she wandered around all by herself at a shopping centre where her mum worked feeling. Again, i had her hug young Sue. This time, she hugged the cushion even more tightly, and told young Sue that she would play with her, bring her out for icecream, and take care of her. She would protect her, make sure she is safe, and also tell her mother not to always scold her so harshly or treat her unkindly. Young Sue was very happy to hear what Sue told her and smiled. I asked Sue to ask young Sue if she could take part in a little ritual where she needed to face Sue. Young Sue agreed. So I took away the cushion and had young Sue walk towards Sue, getting smaller as she got closer to Sue, finally becoming small enough to fit on Sue’s palm. Then I told Sue that she could place young Sue in her heart, with young Sue’s agreement. Sue’s heart would transform into a paradise, a place that young Sue had always dreamed of going, and Sue would always be able to love and take care of young Sue and see her whenever she wished. I asked Sue to describe to me what the paradise in her heart looked like. She told me, with a smile on her face, there were swings, beautiful scenery, and her parents and brother were sitting here happily, watching young Sue play. My throat got choked up at this point, seeing the look of bliss on Sue’s face.

Then i decided to ask Sue if she would like to invite her young father into her heart of paradise as well. Sue willingly agreed. So we had the same ritual involving her father entering Sue’s heart, and i asked Sue to describe what was happening. Sue saw her father taking young Sue’s hand and both of them running off happily to play with each other. I got even more choked up at this point, as i could feel the joy radiating from Sue’s entire being, so strong that I could feel it in my body, and i was thinking what am I going to do if by the end of the session, Sue comes back to see her counsellor in tears! Thankfully that didn’t happen as i managed to settle my own emotions before the session ended. This was the first time i was so touched by what was going on with the client, and it’s truly amazing how beautiful a person’s healing can be, brought about her own strength and readiness.

Before I had Sue come back, I told her that now young Sue and her father as a boy were both in her heart, she could love and protect them whenever they needed her, and as she created the paradise, she could also change it anytime, to make it an even more beautiful and safe place for them. I asked if young Sue and her father had anything to say to Sue. They thanked Sue, and just like kids do, ran off to play some more.

The Sue that came back was a very different Sue, one who seemed calmer, more at peace, happier, and colour seemed to have return to her previously pale cheeks. As this was my first time facilitating such a session (the cushion bit was inspired by Marilyn Gordon’s demo in one of the Becoming the Ultimate Therapist DVDs), I wasn’t sure how to wrap it up, and just told her to drink lots of water and rest when she gets home, as I was sure that her body had plenty of processing to do after such an intensive session that lasted 2 and a half hours. I was surprised to see the clock after I came out, as my usual session lasted 1 to 1 and a half hour, and i believe it was no coincidence that my next client didn’t manage to turn up for our appointment, giving us sufficient time for me to facilitate Sue’s healing.

I’m sure we have a lot more work to do, but i think in this first session alone, we covered a lot of ground and got quite a bit done. Not sure whether she would feel the difference in the next few days, or if she would be less affected by her delusions of people spying on her and gossiping abt her – looking forward to our next session to find out!

As I said, it’s my first time doing such a session, and so it was also for the first time, that i experienced the joy of witnessing a person’s inner transformation. I caught a glimpse of my own transformation as well, that I have been waiting to experience – the bliss, the joy, the love. Now I know for sure that this is the work i’m meant to be doing, and hopefully, this marks the start of many more healings that i would facilitate for other people. Thanks to the universe for leading me here, and providing me with the right tools. It seems like all the stuff that I have been reading have somehow been consolidated and applied in this session. Most of the stuff i did in the session, i read or watched from the EFT newsletters, spiritual books and articles, demos from my hypnotherapy class, etc, and I think i was guided by Green Tara and my own intuition to use the right tools at the right time. What a blessing it was to be able to be a part of a person’s healing journey!

May I also be guided on my own healing journey, and heal myself so that I could assist others in their healing too. Thank you universe once again!

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8 Comments »

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  1. Lena, that was so touching.!!!! I had to read it on the TAT pose, I’m sure it was healing for me too.
    BTW, do you remember the time when you did your list of issues and did EFT on the entire list? I did what I told you I would do with TAT. I don’t feel much different; but when I did my second list today, the issues I wrote down were different and today I noticed a difference in me while explaining something to my boss. Apparently, the issues list will be a favorite approach since now on.

  2. Thanks Bet for your affirmation! It’s a blessing to have you as a friend. 🙂 Great to hear about the list approach having worked for you. I read in this incredible book The Journey by Brandon Bays (i’m such a fan of her now) where she said that once we return to our truth, we forget that we were once anything less than that, thus we often don’t realise immediately that issues have been settled, until we encounter a previously stressful situation, or someone else points our change to us. Isn’t it great that we have these fabulous tools to help us on our healing? 🙂

  3. It’s a blessing to have you as a friend as well. Apparently the issues list will be something I have to work out for a while. I’m feeling resistances to that approach, feelings that I can recognize as procrastination and I know that if I don’t do something about them, I’ll end up never doing it again. Maybe it’s some lazyness, writing a whole list of issues is not exactly something that’s done in a breeze and I have to dig them out. Maybe it has something to do with that nonsense that men should not get in contact with their feelings. Yes, it seems more likely it’s mainly because of that. I’m resisting my own feelings……… (a little while later) I just did a little TAT on this. Apparently I’m just ready to make my next list :-).

  4. Gd for you! I’m forever procrastinating on using EFT to work on myself, using the excuse that i need to find someone to work with as it doesn’t seem to work as well alone. But every once in a while, i will feel horrible enough to tell myself to spend TEN minutes doing some EFT, and it always makes me feel better. Think it’s got to do with the staying in the comfort zone too… if you hear of any tips that might deal with this resistance, let me know!

  5. Even though I’m forever procrastinating on using EFT to work on myself, using the excuse that i need to find someone to work with as it doesn’t seem to work as well alone, I accept myself deeply and completely.
    Even though I only do EFT when i will feel horrible enough to tell myself to spend TEN minutes doing some EFT,……
    Even though I’d rather stay in my comfort zone instead of taking the risk of getting out of it, I completely love and accept myself and I choose to feel comfortable on attending my own emotional healing.
    Why do you think you need to stay in a comfort zone? Is there something that scares you or make you uncomfortable? what might it be? Maybe a safety issue. It’s likely it’s something on that line. Maybe you feel safe whenever you are in the company of someone else, so that you feel safe enough to get out of your comfort zone. I once read on a self help course a technique to dig out things from the subconscious while being alone (without a therapist). Take a piece of paper, choose a subject, write it down at the top of the paper, and then write, write, write, write…. don’t think, don’t stop to think on what you wrote, just write. Write until you feel you are done. Then read it and do EFT on it (this last part is my addition to this :-)). I think if you do this for your “getting out of your comfort zone” issue, you’ll see a breakthrough.

  6. Lena, another suggestion. Whenever you feel procrastinating something, ask yourself permission to welcome whatever you are feeling. “Could I allow myself to welcome this feeling?” Bring your attention to the present moment. If you are like me, you’ll awareness will sharpen and you’ll get the willpower to do what you have to.

  7. Ok thanks Bet, I will try the last one out. Am really lazy about manually writing though… my fingers are too attuned to typing. Of cos, i think you meant simply expressing, be it on paper or on the comp, and then i have no more excuses. Haha… yup, i def need to EFT on this procrastination.

  8. You are right, I meant expressing. The course I mentioned described the technique with the use of paper, but typing is just the same thing. You might do my second suggestion and then do the previous one when you feel ready. I think each one of them have their own place. Or you might use affirmations to get past your procrastination issue. Do you know that you can do EFT to remove the emotional negativity that some affirmations might conjure? If my memory doesn’t fail me, that’s the main message that Gary Craig brings on his Palace of Possibilities DVD set. He calls them “tail enders”. As an example; “People remember Who They Are in my presence but….” (I took this from one of your latest posts). What might come after the “but” is the tail ender. He recommends to tap on those tail enders to neutralize them. Of course, I’m not saying that you have a problem with that particular affirmation since you state that you love it; but maybe if you make up an affirmation that says for example “I complete any task I put myself to do smoothly and easily”, a “but” might end it up.


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